This rant is about the
principles behind Eeyorism.
By Pirate Angel. |
It's late. I'm not tired.
People are sleeping. When better to inflict words upon the world?
Firstly, I believe that more explanation on Eeyorism is necessary, as precious
little is
available to the casual viewer at the moment.
Eeyorism is not a religion where we build large, expansive churches and
chapels, wear elaborate
costumes and hold gaudy festivals. There are several reasons for this:
a) Eeyoar is not a social creature, so to do the preceding would be blasphemy.
b) Eeyorism is not a physical entity. It is a state of mind, where we
endeavour
to resemble Eeyoar as closely as we can, from his actions to his mode of
speech.
c) We don't have the money to do all of this. Should large amounts of money
appear
on my door, I may be forced to hold one or ... more ... large parties. But I
will do these in a sombre fashion.
Do not believe that Eeyorism is strictly a depressive religion. We do not
believe that there
is nothing good in the world. On the contrary, we believe that the world is
full of wonder,
good friends and happy times. The only reason that we are depressed, is that
all of these
things are happening to other people. Therefore, we only appear depressive
because of
circumstances. Should people start being very, very
nice to us... the chances are extremely high
that we would freak out, and run away. No-one is ever nice for a nice reason.
Eeyorism is not a religion which advocates rules. As such, you will never see
something as
formal and ornamental as, say, ten commandments. We know that every rule is
doomed to be broken.
Due to this belief in the impossibility of rules, Eeyorists must view the
world in a manner
different to those of other religions. Looking at a school, you cannot see a
school, and hope to
survive. Instead, you should see an empty building, briefly populated by
people who agree on
working for money, where many are riding on the principle that the students
will look at them and
see the school, and thus they will never be directly challenged. Most, if not
all, of what is
taught there could be learnt out of a book, so what is the school then? A
money-making venture.
They don't really care if you are late, or don't do your homework - do this
things, quietly,
inconspicuously, and no-one will ever complain.
Eeyorists understand that that security guard running after
you is no better educated, or informed
than you are. He too is riding on the fact that he is a security guard in
order to catch you - he
is a security guard for the sole reason that he is a security guard. Take away
that veneer of
authority - which, when seen under this light, must be viewed as non-existent
- and what do you
have there? A tired, cold, confused man, who is running after someone who may
or may not be
heavily armed and built, and hoping that his position will save him. In this
case, where does the
advantage lie? With the tired, scared man, riding on false pretences? Or the
Eeyorist, who has no
illusions, and knows exactly what is to happen?
Eeyorism is not a '20 minute a day' religious workout, as many others are to
many other people
*cough-christianity-cough* It is a lifestyle. But, wait, there are no services
and whatnot to
influence your life? Therefore, it is a mindset - a
way of looking at the world, which none can
match. Using this, you will almost always be better informed, and more alert
than the shells of
people that you will meet on this world.
Eeyorism does not approve of your being controlled by your flesh. Unless you
want it to. But if
your mind is in charge, where the emotions of others rule, you will see ways
to out-manoeuvre your
opponent every time.
One aspect which shines out from among the plethora of good attributes about
Eeyorism would have
to be this: choice. An Eeyorist knows that everything is his choice. Should
the Eeyorist make a
choice which others disagree with, they are free to choose to oppose that
choice. And so it goes
on.
Eeyorism - you know it makes sense.
-Pirate Angel |
