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.: EXTRA INFO :.

Five times? Why, that's nearly seven!

It appears that some of our visitors are having trouble understanding the purpose behind this website. This is not a cute and fluffy "Disney's-Eeyore-We-Love-You" site. Although the description is more accurate, this is not a "A.A.Milne's-Eeyore-We-Love-You" site. This is a "Eeyoar-Creator-Of-The-World-And-All-Things-Which-Dwell-Therein-You're-Cool" site.

The spelling of Eeyoar is not incorrect. We have it right, everyone else has it wrong. Christopher Robinson, the would-be destroyer and current ruler of the world, deliberately warped the spelling of Eeyoar, so that when thousands millions lots of people all around the world are naturally drawn to worship their God, they worship a false idol of Robinson's instead.

Eeyoar is a depressive God. Just about none of you should be able to dispute that (we have great faith in people's ability to do that which will benefit us the least). Eeyoar is calm, accepting, knowledgeable and yet never seems to benefit by anything which goes on. If our God cannot benefit from worldly transactions, what are the chances that we will? Thus, we have adopted a cynical sarcastic outer shell designed to protect and shield our soft, vulnerable underbellies (which also happen to be cynical and sarcastic). We attempt to emulate Eeyoar's calm, attempt to imitate his acceptance, and attempt to bluff our way through his knowledge. The reason that people have so much trouble working Eeyoarists out is because we are making some of this up as we go along. The trick is keeping the rest of the world from knowing which pieces are real, and which pieces are really real.

To end, I'll insert the original Eeyorism introduction, from the original site way back in 2001:

"Welcome to the truth. Eeyorism is the new old religion. It's brand new,    rediscovered from the old, by the three. It contains the truth - nothing less. So join up - spread the word!

The basic principle is this: In the beginning, there was Eeyoar. (there was also Christopher Robinson, but we don't discover  this at first). Eeyoar wished to share his beautiful world with others so he created four disciples - the bear, the piglet, the rabbit and the tigger. As quoted from the book:

" So Eeyoar created his disciples- the bear, the pig, the rabbit and the tigger.

The tigger, as affirmative action. "

However, the Disciples were seduced by the Evil Christopher Robinson, away from the path of Eeyoar, who was banished to the thistle patch. Eeyoar, in a fit of anger, created the humans, which he hoped would rule the animals, and punish them for turning away. As well, three known as The Three would eventually be born from the humans, and they would return the world to his side. However, Christopher Robinson manipulated these creatures, turning them away from Eeyoar, and leaving him abandoned until the time of the Three. Now they are here, and they will return Eeyoar to greatness.

Depression being one of Eeyoars main attributes, his followers are also depressed. This prevents wars. "Why should I shoot you? You'll die on your own eventually.", making Eeyorism a very peaceful religion. This is not a place for war-mongerers.

Should you wish to join Eeyorism, simply put all your earthly possesions in a large envelope and mail to:

The South African Antartic Base.

South (or is it North? Someone tell me)."

That should sort everything out.

-Pirate Angel