Violently Angry Rasta's profile

Kon says: Also Bobo said I could write the profile for Violently Angry Rasta so here it is:

WHY THE FUCK WOULD A BUNCH OF GODDAMNED ASSHOLES ON THE INTERNET WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ME? I WROTE ONE THING FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT WEBSITE, ONLY BECAUSE SOME JERKFACE MADE THIS BOX APPEAR ON MY COMPUTER ASKING ME TO WRITE SOMETHING. I WANTED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM! NORMALLY I'D STAB HIM IN THE FACE BUT I COULDN'T SEE HIM, BEING ON THE INTERNET AND ALL. SO I PRESSED THE "WARN" BUTTON, BUT UNLIKE THE PICTURE IMPLIED, A LIGHTNING BOLT DIDN'T STAB HIM THROUGH THE CHEST AND HE WAS STILL TALKING. SO I WROTE THAT PAGE BECAUSE THAT CARTOON SHOW OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS THAT I WROTE ABOUT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH I JUST HAD TO LET THE WORLD WIDE WEB KNOW HOW MUCH I HATED IT MON!

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I HAVE A COMPUTER, MON. THE ONLY REASON I GOT THIS GODDAMNED OUT OF DATE BARELY WORKING PIECE OF SHIT IS BECAUSE SOME PALE SKINNY TOURIST WAS SELLING THEM CHEAP IN A BACK ALLEY. SO I STABBED HIM IN THE GUT AND TOOK IT FOR FREE JUST BECAUSE I COULD, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T AND STILL DON'T WANT THIS INFERNAL MACHINE!

I WAS BORN IN JAMAICA, AND I STILL LIVE IN JAMAICA. I WORK AS A FISHERMAN, IF YOU COULD CALL WHAT I DO WORK. I REALLY JUST SMOKE GANJA AND SHOUT AT PEOPLE WHO ARE STUPIDER THAN ME ALL DAY. I FISH ONLY WHEN MY WIFE FORCES ME TO GO GET FOOD, EVEN THOUGH I'D RATHER STARVE MYSELF THAN FEED THAT BITCH OR MY UNDESERVING KIDS. ALSO, I SLEEP IN A HAMMOCK MADE OF LEAVES AND TWIGS! IF YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME, JUST WATCH JAMAICA'S MOST WANTED, MON, AND YOU'RE BOUND TO SEE ME SOMEWHERE IN THERE. CALL THEIR 900 NUMBER, AND THERE YOU'VE GOT MY ENTIRE PROFILE. THERE MON, WASN'T MY INTERNET PROFILE INTERESTING?

Kon adds: It's not as good as if Bobo wrote it

Actually both of these were unfinished but since the writers section is dead it'll probably never be finished

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