HANDFASTING
The rite
of handfasting is a Pagan wedding.
Handfasting
was a traditional form of marriage or religious rite
of passage for people and until the 19th century
couples in Scotland were still getting married by
handfasting. Handfasting has been adopted by
spiritual and nature based religions to allow a
couple to make a commitment to each other, regardless
of their sex, background or culture, within their own
spiritual path. There is no set rule to perform a
handfasting ritual, there are only guidelines. It is
up to the couple to perform details and specifics so
the handfasting is personal, meaningful and unique.
Traditionally,
handfasting is for a year and a day and after the
year and a day from the handfasting the couple may
choose to renew their vows or to go their own ways
without any guilt. This commitment is not a lifetime
commitment unless the couple chooses it to be. This
does not mean that a handfasting should not be taken
seriously, quite the contrary, the vows taken during
a handfasting should be taken just as seriously as
any other form of marriage vow or even more seriously
since the couple will be 'bound' to each by way of
blood and word of honor which used to be taken more
seriously then it is today. The spiritual bond of
this commitment is taken very seriously. A spiritual
bond is more serious than a physical bond.
THE LAWS about alternative marriages
and their legal standings are different in every
country, so it is best to check with your country`s
legal marriage laws first before conducting a
handfasting.
PLANNING
AND PREPARING for a handfasting is the same
as planning for a traditional wedding: Food, guests,
invitations, music, etc..
THE
RITUAL varies, but there are common elements.
A sacred space is chosen by the couple, usually
alongside a lake, in a meadow of wild flowers or on a
hill. Someone ordained of the faith must be chosen in
advance to perform the ceremony. The ceremony then
begins by welcoming the guests for coming and
welcoming the goddess and god and all the elements
for being present. The couples hands are tied at the
wrists with a red ribbon to symbolize their unity.
Traditionally the palms or wrists were slightly cut
to shed some blood so that their blood may be
exchanged and therefore signifying how seriously this
commitment is taken by both parties. I used to have a
Scottish handfasting 'chant' that went something as
follows, " blood of my blood and bone of my bone...".
Today, couples favor just the handfasting with a
ribbon without the blood ritual. Vows written by each
person are then exchanged, signifying the oral
contract between the couple. Rings are also exchanged
to symbolize a token of love and affection and the
circle of eternal love. Sometimes, a couple will take
ribbon and 'tie a knot', this is where we get the
expression of 'tying the knot'. After the vows and
rings are exchanged the couple`s wrists are then
unbound and they can walk together along the same
path of life voluntarily 'bound' to each other by
personal oral vows as well as by ' blood and bone'.
The ceremony then proceeds with a party of music,
cake, food, wine and ale. It is also customary for a
couple to jump a broom after the ceremony. Jumping
the broom derives from a time when some couples could
not afford a wedding or handfasting and therefore a
broom was laid out for them and witnesses would be
present to see the couple jump a broom and be
publicly accepted as a 'married' couple.
HANDFASTING
HERBS, FLOWERS AND PLANTS: Anise, apple
blossom, caraway, coriander, damiana, elderflower,
ginger, holly, ivy, jasmine, lavender, lemon verbena,
licorice, lotus, maple, marjoram, meadowsweet,
mistletoe, orchid root, quince, rose, rosemary and
yarrow