Thankfully, this next jump is actually a big reason why I survived those two horrible years. You'll see why.
I fell out of the sky in the middle of a tempest. I landed on the cold, hard ground, destruction all around me. I dazedly stood up, my armor having disappeared as it tends to when I'm barely strong enough to keep myself upright.
My loose hair whipped in the wind as the storm hurled debris at my naked body. I knew, even as I tried to desperately look around for shelter that the winds were reopening injuries that had just barely healed over and that the debris in them was making new wounds.
Faintly, I heard a voice over the winds, but just as I was turning to find the source, every nerve in my body became electrified. I was forced out of consciousness.
I vaguely remember coming to for a brief moment and being washed with gentle hands. I also remember a soft voice soothing me when tears of pain and fear took over, but I can't remember what it was saying.
The next thing that comes clearly to my mind is waking up in a big bed and hurting horribly. To add to the horrible soreness of my wounds and the uncomfortable warmth in my veins from the remaining poison in my blood was a horrible cramping sensation in my lower belly. It had to be thirty times worse than the most horrible period I'd ever had. On the upside, though, I was clothed in the softest of silks, all my injuries were bandaged, and my whole body was clean.
I heard something at the doorway and looked up to see Jae, far thinner than I remembered him usually being, coming in with a tray of food and wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. He smiled slightly at me, kindness shining in his eyes. I tried to sit up and give him a smile in return.
"I see you're awake," he commented in a soft tone as he came over, put the tray down and propped pillows up for me to lean back on. "How're you feeling."
I grinned a little. "Much better than I expected to be feeling."
"How did you expect to feel?"
"Dead."
He chuckled softly. "I wouldn't let that happen to you, Diana-chan."
I smiled slightly at him, then groaned and doubled over as another volley of cramps hit. As I felt his soothing hand on my shoulder, I asked, "What are these cramps?"
He blinked, and his eyes were sad when I looked up at him. "Diana-chan...you didn't know you were pregnant?"
I gasped. "I...I...was...? Wh...what do you mean...?"
"Oh, Diana," he muttered softly as he took me into his arms. "You're miscarrying the baby...I...I'm sorry...with the poison in your system...and all the trauma to your body...there's nothing I could do..."
I remember crying into his chest without hope. I was devastated. I didn't think there could be anything more discouraging than losing a baby and not even knowing who fathered it.
Eventually, the tears stopped and he just held me as I clung to the soft cotton of his shirt with desperation. After a few moments of silence, he gently laid me down again on the bed.
"Rest, Diana-chan. You're safe here," he told me softly as he gently brushed a lock of hair from my sad eyes.
The last thing I felt as I fell into a restless sleep was the gentle touch of his lips as he kissed my forehead.
Over the next few days, I gradually recovered my strength and my bleeding began to slow to a halt. Through speaking with him, I learned that he was the only one of the tennou to re-awaken because he was never truly killed. His crystalline prison was broken when the Dark Kingdom fell. He somehow found his way to Tokyo and befriended HLM, who was living there at the time. She helped him get a job as a bouncer at a bar and survive the city life. Sadly, about two months later, her body went through a mutation so violent that it killed her. Shortly after her funeral, her mother, who he had also befriended, committed seppeku, having blamed herself for her adoptive daughter's death.
This had thrown him into a deep depression. He did nothing but eat, sleep, go to work and concentrate on what had become and obsession: computers.
One day, he was coming home from work when he ran into my equivalent. They became fast friends, and gradually he was pulled out of his depression. The friendship blossomed into a romance, and memories of the Silver Millennium began returning.
Unfortunately, fate decided to be cruel again, and she was killed in a hostage situation at a computer fair they were both at. He had to endure having her slowly die in his arms yet again, while trying to save her life.
Yet again, he sank into a deep depression and obsessively started a small online business so he wouldn't have to talk to as many people face to face. He spurned food and drink until he was about to pass out; then he ate and drank only grudgingly.
He went on like that for a month, avoiding dealing with the feelings brought up of losing everyone he cared for, until that night I dropped from the sky.
I was happy to be able to cheer him up. Together we regained our strength, and he started getting a bit more muscle back. Sadly, I knew that I'd have to leave him, much as I didn't want to. I wanted to stay with him so badly. My heart ached at all the pain he went through, and I really didn't want to add to it.
One morning, after weeks of talking and doing the painful business of going through our respective pastas and crying rivers on each others' shoulders, I made my move.
We were in the kitchen, fixing something or another to eat. I looked at him and cleared my throat.
When he looked up, I asked non-chalantly, "So, we're going into the city today, right?"
He blinked. "Huh?"
"Hai, to get you some volunteer work or something. Didn't you say you liked kids?"
"Well, hai...but..."
"Then it's settled. We'll go into the city and find you a place you can volunteer and work with kids a few hours every week."
"Diana-chan..."
"Hmm...?" I gave him my most sweet and innocent look.
He gave me a look so filled with sadness that it broke my heart into powder. "Are you telling me that you're leaving?"
I sighed as I went over to him and rested my hands on his shoulders.
"The sword is starting to pull at me, trying to get me to move on, hai, but I can resist for a few more days. Jae," I step a little closer, tilting my head up to gaze into his eyes, "I can't let you be alone again, but I can't stay, either, no matter how much I want to."
Tears welled up in those lovely jeweled eyes of his at hearing the emotion in my voice and seeing the sorrow in my eyes.
"Oh, Diana-chan," he whispered, his voice coked with his own feelings. A solitary tear etched its way down his cheek as he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. There were so many emotions tangled up in that kiss that it's still hard for me to sort through them all; the tension of our mutual attraction, the pain of the knowledge that there's no way for me to stay and that of our pasts, thankfulness for what we've already done for each other, fear and anticipation of the future as well as far more.
Eventually, he pulled back and gazed down at me. The flood of feelings overwhelmed me in their powerful current and a sob tore itself from my throat as we embraced each other in a fierce hug. I buried my face in his chest, taking in and memorizing his unique scent as he pressed his face into my fiery mane. We sank to the tiled floor together and knelt there, savoring the moment and letting the tears wash away a little more of the pain in our souls.
Later that day, after we got ourselves cleaned up, we went into downtown Tokyo and walked into the local hospital. They were starting a new program in the pediatrics ward where they'd have people come in and help keep the sick kids' spirits up by visiting, playing with and telling them stories. I thought this would be perfect for Jae, so I called and set up an interview for him with the doctor who was in charge, a Doctor Charon.
I couldn't help wondering if the name had anything to do with the character of myth and legend who ferried the dead who were able to pay across the River Styx.
This doctor ended up being a tall, gentle woman with strange green-black hair that she wore in a bun and cheerful jet eyes. Jae took to her right away and got the job. The following day would be his first day volunteering.
After he left the next day, I remember puttering around the house, trying to resist the strongly insistent pull of the sword. It was starting to get to the point of pain. I'd cleaned, did what he told me needed to be done with his business that day and was out doing some yard work when he came home. He all but leapt out of his car, ran over to me, swept me up in a huge hug and spun me around, making me giggle for the first time in a long time.
"Diana-chan! Thank you so much! It had such a great time. Those poor kids are so sweet!" He told me, the cheerful sparkle in his eyes much more fitting than the dull depression that prevailed only days before. At the pained look deep within my own eyes, the sparkle began to subdue a little. To my gratification, however, it didn't disappear completely.
"Diana...? What is it?"
I sighed. "I have to go. The sword's pull is so strong that it's beginning to hurt. Oh, Jae! I wish I could stay here with you!"
He pulled me close again and gave me a fierce kiss.
"If it hurts, then you must go." He tells me in a soft, gruff voice. "I hope you find the joy you crave and deserve, Diana-chan."
"I, too," I responded softly. "Be happy...?"
"I'll try."
He smiled a little as I stepped back and drew my sword. "I will miss you," I said softly, watching him sadly.
"And I you," he answered.
With that, I turned and sliced the fabric of reality. Strong winds sprang up and thunder boomed as I stepped into the glittering darkness of the portal before me, glancing back once at Jae to see him standing there, hair blowing in the wind and sensitive eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
Journal Entry Two
Journal Entry Four
Pain and Learning
Index
