Tips for April Fool's Day
Every year, during a single day, everyone is separated into two factions- the pranksters and the prankees. This day is April Fool’s Day. If you didn’t know that it was April 1, then either you’ve been living under a rock for a while or someone played an April Fool’s Day joke on you and said that April Fool’s Day is April 2. If the latter is true, then it makes sense that you go to Elmwood; feel free to kick yourself now. Anyway, this pseudo-holiday got its start in sixteenth-century France, back when the start of a new year was celebrated on April 1. However, a dude by the name of Pope Gregory had a new calendar set up so that New Year’s Day fell on January 1. Even though he was the Pope, some people hadn’t heard about the calendar change or disbelieved who told them, so they still held their New Year’s Day on April 1. The smart people played tricks on them and called them “April fools.” That is how April Fool’s Day came into being. Now in France, kids run around and say “April Fish!” all the time. Weird Frenchy kids. Today, a common prank pulled by pranksters is putting salt where sugar should be. That’s pretty lame though, it’s too easy to think up and overused. Try some baking soda instead. Note- perform these pranks at your own risk. Here are some good pranks to pull:
- Take a small sticky note and stick it on the bottom of somebody’s computer mouse, so that the ball won’t move when they try and work the mouse. Remember to write “April Fool!” on the sticky side.
- Put a rubber band or tape over the sprayer on your kitchen sink so that when the water is turned on, the dude gets soaked.
- Try putting cherry (or any other color, really) Kool-aid mix in the showerhead. It’s really funny if done right.
- Call your local newspaper and submit one of your friends’ names to the obituary column.
Superglue some quarters onto the ground and watch people try to pick them up.
- Butter all doorknobs and toilet seats.
- Icy-Hot all doorknobs and toilet seats.
- Ask some kid what time it is when he’s holding a full glass of water/whatever. It works better if the hand that has the glass in it has a watch on, moron.
- Call somebody’s answering machine. Leave an important sounding message, saying “call me back” or something like that. Once you read off three or four numbers of a random phone number, hang up.
- Tell somebody that April Fool’s Day is actually April 2 this year (Elmwood only).
- Tell somebody that his or her shoe is untied. Oh wait, that’s stupid.
- Yell from the roof of a tall building: “The stock market is down!” Proceed to throw a life-size dummy off the roof. Works best if done on a building with more than a few floors.
- Take some Oreo cookies. Undo the tops, one at a time, and place a small circle of wax paper between the cookies and the filling.
- Flip someone’s mattress over and re-make his or her bed. During the day, stupid.
- Tape down the receiver of a telephone. Using a DIFFERENT phone, call them.
- If some dude cuts his finger, tell them that lime juice is the best thing to stop the bleeding.
- Get ones of those Universal TV remotes and go to the window of someone watching TV and change the channels. They will question their sanity.
- If there are grapes in the fridge, be sure to put one on top of every bottle, Tupperware container, dish, can, etc. EVERYTHING must have a grape on top of it.
- Hide many different alarm clocks in the victim’s room and set them all for different times.
- Put shaving cream in the tips of someone’s shoes. It’ll squirt out at the ankle if you have enough in.
- Put baby powder inside someone’s hair dryer. They’ll smell and make a mess.
- Put goldfish in all the toilets. Where did they come from?
- When someone is sleeping, sneak into his room and cover his entire floor with Dixie cups that have been filled with water. Leave no room to walk. He’ll have to drink his way out. Lock the bathroom door for maximum effect.
- Write “SEX” as big as you can with Vaseline on someone’s bathroom mirror. For double the pleasure, outline it with toothpaste.
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