The Cure for Nasty Phone Calls
AT&T? Chronicles? Getting sick of all
those calls?
Have
no fear, I don't wanna rhyme with that stupid line...
(NOTE: Always change your voice, always be in character)
AT&T:
pretend that it's a prank call...
Example-
AT&T: Hi! Would you like a special offer from AT&T... blah blah blah?
Me: Uh... auntie/uncle... is that you...
AT&T: (anything they have in mind)
Me: Oh... stop making prank calls
auntie/uncle... if you want attention, you
can
drop by any time...
AT&T: (Hanged up)
Or... do it scream style... (be afraid...)
Example-
AT&T: Hi! How are you?
Me: (labor breathing) Who are you?
AT&T: This is AT&T with a exclusive offer for you...
Me: (stammers) Ex..exclusive offer? (pause,
than screams) Oh my god...
you're
gonna kill me... (hold reciver 1ft from your face, yelling loud
enough
so he/she can hear, pretend to search for the killer around the
house)
What
are you going to do to me? Are you in there? in the bathroom?...
(just
keep going until she/he hangs up)
(If they didn't hang up... cry and say how
terrible your life is and beg her/him to
stop
calling then hang up yourself)
OR...... speak non-sense then hang up...
The Chronicles:
The plan that always works...(multiple solutions)
Chronicles: Hi! How are you?
You: I'm fine...
Chronicles: We're giving you a free week to try The San Francisco Chronicles...
You: No thanks, I can read it on the internet...
PATH 1:
Chronicles: But you can carry a newspaper around...
You: I have a laptop...
Chronicles: On sundays you'll get comics...
You: Everyday I get flash animations by e-mail...
Chronicles: You'll get viruses with e-mails
You: Norton antivirus plus... even if it
can't fix it, I can call their
toll
free hotline... (hang up)
PATH 2:
Chronicles: What if there's a black-out?
You: How dare you say such a thing... I've
been flexing my
powers
since the last few months! (hang up)
IF ALL ELSE FAILS... THERE'S ALWAYS THE "CAN'T TALK, POOPING." IDEA!