The Diary of Andrew Frank
Let's take a look at a diary thats written
by a
boy that lives in Crazytown...
7/3/01
I got my new diary today... yay... I'm so
happy... I feel like peeing
right now! Oops... too late!
7/4/01
Mother says that it's her fault that she
didn't kill me when I
was a baby! Oh! And happy fourth of July, diary!
7/5/01
My bag of preztels were moldly... so I fed
it to my cat, Fumbly!
Her poo looks like peanut butter mixes with chocolate pudding!
7/6/01
Me and Fumbly goes to the vet! The doctor
have funny eyes and they're
staring at me!
7/7/01
Me and mother went to Safeway, I told the
saleslady that I'm gonna rape her.....
the police came and instead of arresting me... they raped the
saleslady!
7/8/01
The air smells fresh today, Fumbly left a
puddle of sticky smelly blood on the
dinner table while we're eating cherry pie!
7/9/01
Father and I went fishing, one of the worm looks and smells like grandpa's penis!
7/10/01
Fumbly clogged the toilet with herself, father helped me to yank her out!
7/11/01
Mother and father had a good time at the mall... many many people watched!
7/12/01
Father and Grandpa had a good time at the mall... no one watched!
7/13/01
Fumbly was rubbing her
"squishster" against the TV screen when Jay Leno
talks about lubracants... it smells like mother's
room............... show off!
7/14/01
Grandpa coughed out a hairball today...
Fumbly ate and choked on it...
mother helped to get it out by performing the hemlech... mother
acciedently
pushed half of Fumbly in her "blender".
7/15/01
Father was watching the "College girls
exposed" tape he ordered... one of them is
my sister, Betty!
7/16/01
Fumbly's still stuck in my mother's "test tube", Fumbly looks drunk....
7/17/01
Betty visits us for a week... Fumbly got
crazy and poped out of mother's "expired jar of mayo"
.............finally... she's out!
7/18/01
This time... Grandpa coughed out a butterfly... it became Betty's pet, she named it "Dog"
7/19/01
Dog died, the doctor said that it's an overdosage of sleeping pills!
7/20/01
Fumbly evolved into Vatorumpy.
7/21/01
Grandpa evolved into Grandma... now I have 2 grandmas! YAY!
7/22/01
Dad killed one of the grandmas... he said that there's too much to handle...
7/23/01
Mother's "turkey" was swollen, the doctor said that is a cat type parasite...
7/24/01
Vatorumpy keeps licking mother's
"miracle device", it's more swollen than ever...
it's as big as one of Betty's boobs... Betty left today... we
hope that she'll come
back soon......
7/25/01
Mother fainted, Vatorumpy was sleeping next to mother's swollen "goo bag"...
7/26/01
Mother's swollen "pack" hatched... there's 9 kittens in it...
7/27/01
Mother's "fountain" recovered, Vatorumpy was really happy with her kittens...
7/28/01
Grandma ate two of Vatorumpy's kittens...
Vatorumpy was angry... she took away one of
Grandma's "deflated balloon".
7/29/01
Four kittens died in a four-some... the vet saids that they're too young to handle it...
7/30/01
Since that 3 kittens are left... I named
them... one is "Fumbly2", one is "Cashew",
and one is "Testy"
7/31/01
Grandma coughed out one of the eatten kitties... it's still alive... I named it "Smelly"
8/01/01
Vatorumpy made a nest out of Grandma's "XL raisin" she took
8/02/01
Smelly died... Grandma ate it (back)
8/03/01
Father was humping the oven, he burned his
"little camper", it got lost in the
woods once...
8/04/01
Vatorumpy died today, so we had her for dinner
8/05/01
Father's "soft spot" recovered, but it got lost again...
8/06/01
Fumbly2 found Father's "racket",
but she ate it, so Father used Fumbly2 as his
"Blopen", and Testy for his... testies.
8/07/01
Cashew was stuck in the jar of cashew, Testy was jiggling, and Fumbly2 coughed out marshmellows!
8/08/01
Cashew is still stuck in the cashew jar... Mother was having quality time with Testy and Fumbly2!
8/09/01
It's Father's birthday today, the cake is made of marshmellows!
8/10/01
Mother said that she saw the ghost of the
other Grandma, she also said that the other grandma
found her soulmate...
8/11/01
Cashew was finally out of the cashew jar, thanks to the cashew oil...
8/12/01
Cashew is now stuck in the cookie jar...
8/13/01
Grandma was mumbling about what she did in
WWII while she was rubbing herself against the sand
at the beach naked...
8/14/01
\/\\/\\//\/dahgddgadgjgdja////\\/@$6241$^$%.... nothing's cool today, oh well...
8/15/01
We got a new pet, a monkey that have seizure, I named it G!
8/16/01
Cashew is out of the cookie jar, thanks to the cashew oil that's left on cashew's fur!
8/17/01
G was licking Grandma, Grandma looks happy!
8/18/01
Cashew's stuck in the tube!
8/19/01
We watched Cashew's show from the tube!
8/20/01
Cashew got an emmy award for his show...
8/21/01
Now Grandma's stuck in the cashew jar...
8/22/01
G ate cashew since that he have a cashew smell...
8/23/01
Grandma's out of the cashew jar, but G ate her also... and G's stuck in the cashew jar now...
8/24/01
Fumbly2 died, so Father sliced her up and
replace her with the swallowed "pipe"
and Testy's finally out of the bag...
8/25/01
Summer's almost over, I bought some pencils :)
8/26/01
Testy evolved into Ticles, and G's out of the jar...
8/27/01
Mother's downloading gay porno movies from the net...
8/28/01
Mother's trying to rape G... I don't really
care though...
because Mother's technice sucks...
8/29/01
Father and me went to a football game... The peanut man triped, falled, and died...
8/30/01
Ticles was running around in circles screaming, and his poo looks like cabbages...
8/31/01
Mother's pregnant with G's baby!!!
9/01/01
Ticles can't stop farting today...
9/02/01
Father was playing with his "push pop" while watching Mother raping G again...
9/03/01
(sigh) 2 more days till school... Ticles was barfing out poo...
9/04/01
Last day of summer... we have Ticles poo for dinner... deep fried...
9/05/01
Chris, my best friend turned blue over the
summer... hmmm...
he said that he dyed it...
9/06/01
I have sex ed with Chris, the teacher is a she-male...
9/07/01
I have liver and fish eggs today for lunch!
9/08/01
I was playing baseball with Chris and Chris catched the ball with a cow fetus...
9/09/01
Ticles was bellowing today and he smells like garlic
9/10/01
G washed my butt today... it feels great!
9/11/01
Andrew's brain got hijacked, the posessed
Andrew went to the WTC,
drilled a hole in the wall, and start having sex with the WTC...
he died...
and Betty was playing Jenga... she choked on one of the wood...
died...
Andrew's mom's baby came out early... both mom and half-monkey,
half-human baby died... Tickles was drowned in the toilet while
Backstreet Boy's
"drowning" is playing... he died too... G died because
he's too sad... Andrew's
dad's "instrument" fell off again but he can't find
it... so he commited suicide
Chris was raped and killed by the cow fetus's mom......
THE
END...