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Vital (and otherwise) Statistics
not to be taken literally or before bedtime

Name: Obsidian Rogue (first name Obsidian, last name Rogue)

Real name: dude, I don’t know. You wanna get me one of those “hello, my name is” labels?

Height: I reach the ground

Blood type: on the inside

Sign: Yield to Oncoming Traffic

Hair color: natural

Eye color: I don’t know, they’re what I use to look at other things

Aliases: did you know there’s a character wandering around called Alias? And there’s Hiro Protagonist, and Heero Yuy, and Mr. Hero Sandwich ...

Superpowers: the ability to cause any printer to descend into raving lunacy; the ability to convince no one of anything - and let me tell you, he’s hard to persuade; the ability to fold time such that the later it is, the slower I move; and the uncanny ability to detect when work is looking for me, and thus the ability to avoid it.

Source of power: my gel pens - they’re secretly vials of supergunk that transform me into the Obsidian Rogue. Take that how you will.



Vittle Statistics

Vitamin E is an aphrodisiac. So are pine nuts. (see source)

Toasters which fail to eject Pop Tarts cause the Pop Tarts to emit flames 10-18 inches in height. (see source)

Cream cheese consumption doubled between 1984 and 1998. (see source)

The World's Largest Ketchup Bottle is found in Collinsville, Illinois. (see source)

Hottest pepper in the world? A 1994 Red Savina Habanero from GNS Spices has tested an astonishing 577,000 Scoville Units and is believed to be the hottest pepper ever tested. (see source)





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