WORLD COMES TO STANDSTILL AS NEWS OF IAIN DUNCAN SMITH WINNING TORY ELECTION SPREADS

LONDON - The world was stunned this week as news of Iain Duncan Smith's election spread. Thousands joined in a three minute silence to mark the Tory leadership changeover.

One New Yorker described the famous moment:

"It was totally surreal. There were like thousands of us in Times Square and no-one was speaking and they were all saying this guy with a moustache had taken over."

Marty Bong spoke to Londoners about the incident, which dominated the Western media for days.

"I can't explain it. It was like a bad movie. Duncan Smith was stood there saying stuff into a microphone and there were people clapping, but I couldn't take in what he was saying."

Western leaders sent messages of condolence.

"The world will never be the same again," Lionel Jospin said, on French television.

Said one former ambassador to the UK from America:

"This is not an attack on Britain, it is an attack on the whole civilised world."

Loved ones called each other, and friends sent emails spreading the news of the changeover from William Hague to Iain Duncan Smith.

Polly Coynton, a journalist, told Marty Bong:

"People are going to look back at this week and say 'where were you when you heard Iain Duncan Smith had taken over the Tory Party'"

She went on: "It's one of those defining moments that lifts you out of yourself and grips the entire nation."

A Tory HQ spokesman said: "Iain Duncan Smith does not have a moustache."

NEW YORK DISASTER - EARLY REPORTS CLAIM 200 MILLION GUSHED CLICHES AND THEN GOT BACK TO HAVING A GOOD TIME

NEW YORK - The scale of the tragedy in Manhattan became clear this week as reports claimed that up to 200 million people may have gushed vacuous clichés and then got back to the business of having a good time.

"This is so ugly it makes the mind boggle," one New Yorker said. Said another:

"Something has got to be done."

According to press reports in New York, untold millions look likely to have muttered hyperbole and then either gone to the supermarket, or watched TV.

"It's too early to say just how many poured out their hearts in this way, but everything points to it being literally huge."

Marty Bong interviewed one Londoner in a Soho restaurant.

"It's just awful," he said, studying the bill to see if service was included. "Awful, shocking."

"And," he went on, checking his mobile for text messages, "You know it was kind of surreal."

Eye witnesses claimed that tens of thousands compared the attack on the World Trade Centre to "A bad movie."

Said one: "I was like just hanging out and this guy said he was just kind of watching that film of the second tower and like he said there was this plane kind of turning and it was just like something out of the movies."

BUSH: "WE WILL MAKE NO DISTINCTION BETWEEN TERRORISTS, THOSE WHO HARBOUR THEM, OR THOSE WHO LOOK QUITE LIKE THEM AND GO TO MOSQUES"

WASHINGTON - President Bush sent out a clear warning to enemies of the US yesterday, when he promised that those who shelter terrorists, or who look like them and worship in Mosques, will be held responsible.

"Justice must be done," Bush said. "And those who have done wrong, or look quite like those who have done wrong, must be punished."

US newspapers published photofits of people who looked like the terrorists.

One FBI source told marty Bong: "Early indications are that people who resemble the hijackers and go to Mosques are dark skinned with lots of facial hair."

The Federal Government urged countrymen to offer their support.

"I ask every one of you, every man, woman and child: we have to root out terrorists, and people who look like them and go to Mosques, and we have to root them out fast."

Bush corralled the American people to war. "We must not rest until the guilty, those who look like the guilty, and people who go to the same Mosques, are brought to justice."

BUSH LIKENS 5,000 DEAD NEW YORKERS TO "LIKE, A MILLION AFRICANS DYING OR SOMETHING"

CAPITOL HILL - Bush, thrust into the biggest crisis of his presidency so far, likened the death of up to 5,000 in New York to the killing of "a million Africans or something."

Speaking to reporters, he said:

"It's a horrendous thing. All those Americans gone. It's like someone just wiped out a million Africans or something."

"Like in Rwanda or wherever," he added.

Western TV news anchors were stunned as the realised the scale of what they had seen.

Said one:

"5,000 mostly white guys. Yeah, shit, that's like a million black guys all dead, gone, forever."

Marty Bong talked to journalists at the scene. Grant Lizano, political editor, said:

"I think he's kind of overdone it. I guess maybe it's like half a million Indians getting fucked over or something."

"But," Lizano said, "We are still talking a shit load of people dead, here."