"That's what they all say, they all say D'oh."~Chief Clancy Wiggum.
"Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a 10-year-old boy." "And vice-versa."~Bart J. Simpson and Lisa Marie Simpson.
"It's not funny Bart! Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act! That they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goals are to look pretty, have a rich husband and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!!!" "Just what i was gonna say."~Lisa Marie Simpson and Bart J. Simpson.
"I am so great, I am so great, everybody loves me, I am so great!"~The Young Bartholomew J. Simpson.
"Lisa, certain differences, rivalries, if you will, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people. But instead, I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny."~Bart.
"Bart, why did you take the blame?" "'Cause I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want, no matter what anyone says. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money."~Lisa and Bart.
"Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I." "Fine, we were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard, ya happy?"~Dana Scully, F.B.I.(Voice by Gillian Anderson.) and Homer.
"Hey, where's Homer?" "Your father is...resting." "'Resting' hung over? 'Resting' got fired? Help me out here."~Bart, Marge, and then Bart again.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks. I'm doin' my rounds and, uh, I'm a little behind."~Bart.
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smell and I like to kiss my own butt."~Moe Syzlak.
"Wait! Joy of movement increasing...love of dance, impossible to resist...toes twinkling...Look at me, girls. I'm doing ballet--and I love it!"~Bart.
"Kwyjibo: A fat, dumn, balding, North American ape with no chin."~A work that Bart made up to use all of his letters, during a game of Scrabble.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you want to learn more about war, check out your local library, and Peace Man!"~Bart.
Lionel Hutz: Now, don't worry Mrs. Simpson, I...Uh-Oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
LH: Well, he's had it in for me ever since i kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
LH: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly", and the word "dog" with the word "son".
Lisa: Look at the wonders of the computer age now.
Homer: Wonders, Lisa, or blunders?
Lisa: I think that's what I implied.
Homer: Implied, Lisa, or implode?
Lisa: Mom, make him stop.
Mr. Burns: All right, Simpson, let's go over the signals. If I tug th bill of my cap like so, it means the signal is a fake. However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly. If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice. If I tug this here...
Krusty (to Homer): Hey yutz! Guns aren't toys! They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals, and keeping the Kind of England out of your face.
Moleman: A Poem. By Hans Moleman. "I think that I shall never see. My cataracts are blinding me."
Mrs. Krabappel: "Embiggens?" Hmm. I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.
Miss. Hoover: I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word.
Ned Flanders: I don't need to be told what to think--by anything living.
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