"Nobody ever died of laughter." -Max Beerbohm
"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." -Muhammad Ali
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." -Buddha
"Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real." -Tupac Shakur
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost
"Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive." -Warren Miller
"Everything has been figured out, except how to live." -Jean-Paul Sartre
"May you live every day of your life." -Jonathan Swift
"He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead." -Anon
"The report of my death was an exaggeration." -Mark Twain After reading his own obituary, June 2, 1897
"Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality." -Jules de Gautier
"There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have." -Don Herold
"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." -Nora Ephron
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." -Johann von Goethe
"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world." -R. D. Lang
"There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just plain nuts." -Christine Lavin, "Prisoners of their Hairdos"
"I hate quotations." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster." -Clint Eastwood
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" -Abraham Lincoln
"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done." -Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife is dying
"If you think that something small cannot make a difference - try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room." -Unknown
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -Brooke Shields
"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung." -Voltaire
"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Wow.. Who is this Anonymous person? He sure does have a lot of quotes!" -Troy, a 10th grader, after reading an Anonymous quote on the board
"WHOA!! Did that cat just, like, TALK??" -Rick, after my kitty meowed at him
"My plan is to live forever. So far, so good." -Unknown
"Who needs school when you can sleep instead?" -Cat Clark
"Men should know how to cook without opening the freezer" -Mike Heredia, who learned this when his parents were gone all night
"Everyone's gotta pee sometime in their life!" -little artist
"Isnt it amazing how cats know exactly when you are going to make your bed and then they just HAVE to go in there and sleep on it? and they NEVER get up!?" -little artist
"I AM ONE OF THOSE RARE BLONDS, I AM A SMART ONE!!!!" -little artist
"My cat it too fat; he just bout has a heart attack when he jsut walks up the stairs." -little artist
"Why think when you can sleep??!" -Anon O. Mus
"How does it feel when you search for your glasses all morning and you suddenly realize they are on your head??" -Mike Heredia
"Who on earth is little artist?" -the it
"If shoes dont fit they probably aren't your size" -somebody
"All your life you are taught that taking risks are bad, only to then lie on your death bed and realize you have not lived." -Anna Leonova
"You know why animals are more loved than people? Because they don't TALK." -Anna Leonova
"There are no guarantees for anything, and there's no such thing as safe. Say you take a shower, dry your hair with a fan, get shocked and die. Does that mean you will never shower or dry your hair again in your life? We take risks constantly constantly. We think about "tomorrow," but hey, who knows if it will come?" -Anna Leonova
*after being given a gift*"Thanks! I love it!!!" "Great!!! I don't!!!"-Lauren (me!) and Cathryn C.
"You're easily amused, aren't you?"-me,"Ya, is that a bad thing?? What's wrong with being easily amused??"-my brother daniel
"You're not as precious as you think you are, hun." -Cathryn C.
"I know people who look really good with blue hair!!"-Daniel, my brother
"Burn it! Fires are pretty..."- Sarah
"Don't hate me for forever....just hate me for today!" -me
"What do you MEAN you live in elephant land?!?!?" -me
"FRISBEE!!!!" -Carrie and me
"If he was alive, he'd be, like, dead!!!" -Kristin
"Dell. What does that sound like? A red banana floating down a river." -Anonymous
"In America only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is." -Geoffrey Cottrell
"He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever." -Chinese Proverb
"Reality can be beaten with enough imagination." -Anon.
"Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open." -Lord Thomas Dewar
"Great minds think alike." "When all men think alike, no one thinks very much."
"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." -Jerry Seinfeld
"He who has a thousand friends
Has not a friend to spare,
While he who has one enemy
Shall meet him everywhere."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." -Cynthia Nelms
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein
"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." -Walter Kerr
"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education." -Bertrand Russell
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things." -Woody Allen
"The scientific theroy I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." -Mark Russell
"It's not enough that I should succeed -- others should fail." -David Merrick
"Why don’t you write books people can read?" -Nora Joyce, to her husband James
"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." -Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." -Albert Camus
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." -Walt Disney
"I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work." -Thomas Alva Edison
"Don't question me, cause I don't know the answers"
"Sarcasm is just one of the services that we offer here. Thank you, now please go away and never come back"
"Always smile...it'll make people wonder what you're thinkin'."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"Guys are like slinkies-it's fun to watch them fall down stairs."
"Guys are like lava lamps-fun to look at, but not very bright."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head."
"You can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they give in."
"If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius."
"What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over."
"When somebody tells you nothing's impossible, tell them to try to dribble a football!!"
"I think that the world would be a better place if those darned kids would just give the silly rabbit his Trix!"
"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas!"
"I don't need your attitude. I have one of my own!"
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present."
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints in our hearts, and We are never, ever the same. "
"The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water."
"As an older more mature young adult your job is to...make fun of the little kids!"
"There are easier things in life than finding a good boyfriend. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. "
"Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think of them."
"This day was a total waste of make-up."
"If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it, it's much easier to apologize then it is to get permission."
"If your happy and you know it .............get out of my house."
"Girls are so complex, they confuse themselves."
"Everyone gets a chance in the spotlight...you can have it when I'm done!"
"I dont have an Attitude Problem...Its supposed to be like this :) "
"In some cultures what I do is considered normal ."
"Let the world roll along....I'll catch up later."
"Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Silence is golden...but shouting is fun!"
"Insanity is just anger put to good use!"
"My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore."
"Life is short, and so am I."
"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there."
"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems..."
If you have a quote that you would like to be added to this page, email me, and I'll try to put it on.