BAD AMERICAN

Yes, I Guess I am A BAD American. I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - big tits.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate. I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I have the right NOTto be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or piss me off.

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it. Hell just ask my wife.

I don 't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake, pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English.

As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word freeze or stop in English, See the previous line.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

If I received a blow job from one of my subordinate employees in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would have been FIRED immediately.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount when needed.

I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your right too.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box!

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.

I did not go to some foreign country and risk my life in vain and defend our constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation.

I don't hate the rich.

I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage or our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either.

Beavis & Butthead still make me laugh.

I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jessie Jackson preaches; and besides what exactly is his job function.

I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any Red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will serve the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with malicious intent.

I worry about dying before I get even.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the internet to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it pisses me off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being than I do as a white male. Hell, if someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.

I like the convenience of buying oranges from a sidewalk vendor or while I'm waiting at a stop-light, and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator box in East Dallas or is sleeping in the streets of her home country.

We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO".

I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right. I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a bad American