K-State Jokes
On a tour of Kansas, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit Clinton Lake. His 4X4 Pope-mobile was driving along the shoreline when there was an enormous commotion heard just off shore. They drove closer to see what it was.
Upon approaching the scene, he saw a man in the water wearing a KSU basketball jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the enormous mouth of a 100 lb plus catfish.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing KU basketball jerseys roared into view from around the point. Immediately, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the giant fish, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the KSU man from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the catfish to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the boat along with the dead catfish and then prepared for a hasty retreat when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was the Pope summoning them to the beach.
After they reached shore, the Pope praised them for the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some bitter hatreds between the people of Manhattan and Lawrence, but now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of true harmony and could serve as a model on which other states could follow". He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpooner asked the others, "Who was that?" "That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner replied, "he doesn't know anyhing about cat fishing. Is the bait holding up okay or do we need to go get another one?"
The other day in a bus station, a man approached another and said, "I'll bet you're from Kansas State University."
"Why yes, I am," answered the other. "How could you tell? Was it my good looks, my debonair charm, my taste in clothing?"
"No," replied the first, "I saw your class ring as you were picking your nose."
Q: How do you keep a KSU Wildcat out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball goal.
Q: How is the Kansas state basketball team like a opossum?
A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Kansas State players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: If you see an Kansas State fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you have when 100 Kansas State fans are buried up to their neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead Kansas State fan in the middle of the street?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What is the difference between a Kansas State fan and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "241". "That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the Mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss."
Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the lady answers, "144". "That's great!" responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51". Albert responds, "How 'bout them Wildcats?"
Why do K-State graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirror?
To justify their handicap parking.
What do you get when you drive slowly by the K-State campus?
A degree.
What do you get when a K-State basketball player sees his shadow?
6 more weeks of bad basketball.
How many KSU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it's a second year course.
How do you get a KSU graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
The K-State basketball team was placed in a remedial English class. The professor asked the class, "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?"
All of the players raised their hands.
"The appeal" they shouted with pride.
Why is it that the K-State basketball team doesn't have a web site?
They can't string three W's together.
What are the best four years of an K-State student's life?
Third grade.
"My Letter Home From K-State"
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad
Q: Why do they throw a sack of manure into the chapel at Kansas State weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Go back to jokes
