Inside every fat cat, there's a thin cat who eats too much.
A big spider will be waiting for you in the dark, chuckling its evil spider chuckle, and rubbing it's hairy legs together in a chitinously evil way.
Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant
Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship her and a cat that will ignore her.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
I like pigs: dogs look up to us; cats look down on us; pigs treat us as equals.
The early bird gets the worm - but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The one thing that separates us from the animals is that we're not afraid of vacuum cleaners.
People who don't like cats must have been mice in another life.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.
To err is human, to moo, bovine.
If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
Nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten
