Still Waters Part 3

 

Nick didn’t always make sounds when he slept.  Grissom, suffering from a night of insomnia had lain in bed watching Nick sleep and thinking.  Nick still had nightmares every night.  When Grissom had first stayed in the guest bedroom he had only been aware of the dreams that plagued Nick, if Nick cried out.  He hadn’t realized how many dreams Nick had that he hadn’t known about.  At first he couldn’t figure out why Nick wasn’t crying out, then he had noticed the way his fingers would twitch, often forming the word no, or the word stop in sign language.  It was then that he had figured out Nick was dreaming about the babysitter.   It seemed that he was having that same dream again.  Grissom shook Nick’s shoulder.  “Nick, Nick wake up it’s just a dream.”  Gil turned on the lamp by the bed.  So when Nick’s panicked eyes opened and fell on Gil he could sign.

 

‘Nick, it’s okay, it’s just a dream.’

 

Nick automatically responded in sign language, ‘sorry it just seemed so real.’

 

‘Was it about the babysitter?’

 

Nick stiffened, ramrod straight, ‘how do you know about that?’

 

‘I didn’t pry into your life, Catherine let it slip out when you were attacked a month ago.  She hadn’t known about the attack, I mentioned you were raped….there was miscommunication going all over the place.’

 

Nick looks puzzled and repeats a sign that Grissom used with a questioning look on his face.  Grissom spells out rape and Nick’s confusion clears, ‘I had never learned that word.’

 

‘You know that you can come to me and talk anytime right?  Even at work, about anything?’ 

 

Nick looked upset, ‘I don’t want special treatment at work.  Our personal relationship shouldn’t effect work that much.’

 

Grissom shook his head exasperated, ‘that option is open to anyone, not just you Nick.’

 

Nick nodded his head thoughtfully.  ‘Okay I might take you up on that conversation sometime, but I don’t want to talk about it right now, still too fresh in my mind.’

 

‘It’s not that long until shift, why don’t we go in early?’  They both got up to get dressed.

 

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When they arrived at work the day shift was still on and in the lounge.  Ecklie was in there as well and in the nature of avoidance Nick went straight with Grissom to his office.  An hour from the night shift still Ecklie had come storming in, interrupting Nick and Grissom’s quiet time.  “Grissom I want to know why you haven’t written Stokes up yet.  He struck me!”  Ecklie so focused on himself didn’t notice Nick sitting in the corner quietly doing paperwork, nor did Nick bring it to his attention.

 

“Conrad, we have to be more conscientious of people in lab.  Everyone knows Nick is still recovering from an attack.  It was a complete accident from when you startled him, if you would just flick the light-“

 

Ecklie interrupted, “I don’t believe in doing this touchy-feely crap, Stokes was attacked.  He should just get over it and move on, none of this favoritism.”

 

“Conrad,” Grissom sighed, “if it had happened to anyone else we would still be doing the same things.” 

 

Nick could tell Grissom was on his last thread of patience and that nothing was being resolved so he spoke up, “Ecklie,” Ecklie spun around to stare at Nick., “if I apologized again, would it be enough?”  Ecklie gaped like a fish, ‘what if I paid for the hospital bill too?”  Ecklie’s jaw snapped shut.

 

“No,” he said stiffly, “I don’t think that will be necessary.”  Ecklie turned heel and ran.

 

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The CSI night shift was gathered in the break room arguing….about who was playing the next game on the Playstation2.  Grissom walked into the room and it suddenly fell deathly quiet.  You could hear the cricket’s chirping from Grissom’s office.  “What game,” he asked with a smirk.

 

“Antz Racing.” They all said in unison.  Grissom nodded his head.

 

“Cool count me in.”  The entire team stared in shock, Greg who was also present timidly raised his hand and Grissom nodded to acknowledge him.

 

“Did you discover some kind of mutant bug that took over your brain?”

 

“I don’t think I did, but if it took over my brain would I really know?  Well what I do know is that if I fill out one more piece of paperwork I’ll give myself an aneurysm.”  So they played.  The whole nightshift team was shocked to find out that Grissom knew how to play Nintendo, said he had done some blood spatter consulting work for a company and they had given him a system for free.  The whole group had a lot of fun, those that didn’t play cheering on the underdog.  The whole group really got a laugh from Grissom’s various comments on the accuracies and inaccuracies of the insects portrayed.  The fun was interrupted when Grissom’s phone went off.  Grissom was the only person that didn’t jump at the sound and Nick noticed the way Grissom didn’t look away from the screen.  Nick discreetly elbowed Grissom and made the sign for phone.  Grissom’s eyes widen and he stopped the game.  “Grissom.  Yeah okay we’ll be there in twenty.”

 

Grissom turned off the television.  “Okay kids.  We got a DB.”

 

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“What is it?”  Nick jumped startled by the sound of Grissom’s voice.

 

Nick shook his head, “I dunno.  I can’t put my finger on it.  There’s just something off.”  Even though it was a statement the questioning look in his eyes and tone made it more of a question.

 

Grissom raised an eyebrow, “are you asking me or telling me?”

 

Nick shrugged, “both I guess.”  Both studied the scene before them.  It appeared that an intruder/intruders had broken in intending to rob the place and the victim had come home and surprised ‘them’.  The vic had been shot and the burglars, scared had run-off.  Nick shook his head again, “I just,” he shrugged helplessly, “something’s off.”

 

Grissom clapped Nick on the shoulder.  “If you figure out what’s bothering you let me know meanwhile we have to get the vic down to the coroner.”  Nick didn’t responded, just stared intently as Chrissy Handlebrook was wheeled from the scene. 

 

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When they got home after the shift change, they didn’t talk about the case.  They talked all the time, procedure and past cases, but current cases usually weren’t discussed.  It was just one of the ways that they kept their private time and their work time separate.  The one thing that they did talk about from work were the current rumors about them that were going around.

 

“Gil, I just don’t think we should stress over it.  I mean I over-heard someone tell Greg that you had swooped in from the rape attack to make me your bitch.”  He chuckled at the thought, though it was kinda hot….the idea of Gil all dominate...maybe when the relationship had stabilized and they both had more experience with the other’s body.

 

Gil made a face, almost reading the lusty thoughts going through Nick’s head.  “but what if it does come out?  Will we deny it?  I just…I just want to know where we stand.”

 

Nick sighed, defiantly serious conversation time, although most of the time after a serious conversation they made-out.  That thought brighten him considerably.  “Look Gil, I know it’s not fair to you me being so mixed up about things.  Back when I was a cop in Dallas I didn’t come out.  You know I had been out in college, well I decided keep it to myself this time and it worked for awhile, not saying anything.  Eventually one of the guys got snoopy found out and spread it around.  It wasn’t like anything major happened, but the little jabs, sometimes things in my locker, made me paranoid that something like what happened in college would happen again.  Eventually the paranoia got too bad for me so I switched jobs and moved here.  Don’t get me wrong there were a few other reasons to move, but that was one of my main ones.  So when I got here I actively set the image of a strong heterosexual man.  I didn’t want to lie to people, I just wasn’t sure what you guys would think.  So part of me wants the lying to stop.  Hell part of me wants to shout from the rooftops how lucky I am to be with you, but the paranoid part wants to keep it secret.  I just think we should atleast wait until the relationship is more established.  Have plenty of ammo that you aren’t playing favorites.  Right now it looks like you are.”

 

Gil nodded slowly, “I guess I see what you’re saying.  It’s just harder for me, I don’t have a paranoid half telling me to keep quiet.”

 

“Well if you really want to be out we could tell just a few people.  Just us nightshift, ask ‘em not to say anything and they probably won’t.  Now,” Nick had slowly been scooting toward Gil on the couch until he was practically in his lap, “I think we should get in touch with our inner horny teenager.”

 

Gil grinned back at him, “Sounds like a plan.” 

 

And it was good, incredibly good.  Gil was happily sucking on one of Nick’s nipples when Nick went stiff as a board and pushed him off, saying, “no, stop.  No!”  Gil immediately sprang away, unsure of what had set Nick off, then he saw his belt was undone and the first button on the pants…~wow I don’t really remember doing that.~

 

Gil held his hands out, “I’m sorry Nick, I didn’t realize I won’t do it again.”  Gil spoke in low soothing tones, as one would a frightened animal.  And the fear in Nick’s face cleared to one of surprise and then sorrow.

 

He buttoned his pants and then sat down next to Gil, still breathing heavily.  “I didn’t mean to freak out on ya there.  I’m really sorry.  I guess my mind’s willing but body isn’t.  We just have to go a little slower with me.”  Nick looked downcast, he wanted to be back to normal dammit!  This weirdness about anything below the belt is not normal.  But just like before he has to accept the fact that it takes a long time to fully recover from.

 

Gil trying to show him he wasn’t mad, kissed Nick.  “It’s fine if we go slow, Nick.  I’m in no rush, hell I’m 46 years old.  Waiting another year isn’t going to kill me.”

 

Nick smiled at him, saying yeah okay without words.