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Update #3 - 16th August 2002
Welcome back, once again, to Carl's Mullet. It has been two months since the start of the challenge and the third update. We have another mullet in the Reader's Mullet section, so check that out. Oh and whoever that dead beat Charlie was, if you're reading, please if you are going to try and verbally assault me, come up with some original material... what a waster.
Anyway, I know that for some of you, laughing at someone less fortunate then you is the only thing that makes your life seem more bearable. So, this is how Marvin Jeffers is looking on the 16th of August 2002...
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And Marvin Jeffers evolves once again. He truly is becoming a beauty and a joy to behold. Let's compare it with last month's update...
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It's changed a lot. But not as much as it had at the last update. I think the rate of growth has slowed down a lot. I also think that I'm turning into an albino, just look out how pasty I am in comparison to last month and the month before. Marvin is getting pastier too. My ear is being consumed by this huge mass that is Marvin. I have to brush my hair aside before using head phones, using the phone or listening to somebody with a shakey and/or weedy voice. Marvin is starting to blend in with the hedge behind him. Neither are trimmed regularly and creatures can be found in both. Marvin Jeffers is really beginning to itch now. With hair like this, and in the summer, it can be hard for the wearer. It's starting to look even scruffier then last month. Where it's getting a lot bigger it's starting to look out of proportion to my head. In fact, I'd go as far to stay that I'm starting to look ridiculous. People look at me in the streets and think... "why's that boy got a mop on his head?" or... "what's with the straw?". Of course, I don't know for sure that they're thinking this... but I can read most of the deadbeats I see down town like a book. Some people don't even TRY and pretend they haven't noticed how stupid my hair looks. The last time I went to the hospital they thought I had turned up for a hair cut. Whenever I walk past the hair-cutter's they signal for me to come in and look at me like I'm crazy when I try and tell them that I'm not having my haircut. During this challenge I've noticed that your average person is prejudice against people with mullets. It's a sad thought... but it's true. But still, it's worth it. It's worth being laughed at just for the warmth Marvin gives during the night. When people leer at my mullet I just shrug it off, because Marvin is much better then a crummy wedge - and does the average person's hair have a NAME or a WEBSITE or a FOLLOWING? I think not. Does your wedge keep your warm? I'll say it again... I think not.Mullet of the Moment
Well it's time for Mullet of the Moment, and who takes the prestigious title for this month?
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Joe Elliot - lead singer of Def Leppard. Yep, I haven't taken any notice of this true beauty until I saw the old washed up has-been's new video for "Now". The song? Utter crap. The video? Utter crap? The thing on that man's head? A true beauty of a mullet. You can tell that this guy has had that haircut for the last twenty years and that's what really does make this mullet special. While many of todays older rock stars have ditched the mullet in favour of something more... up-to-date, Joe Elliot has stuck with his mop-top, making him more then your average mullet-sporter. He's truly faithful to his hair cut. Joe Elliot, mullet of the moment... we salute you.
Marvin Jeffers sleeps
Well, Marvin pondered a lot on where to sleep for this month's "mullet sleeps", when he couldn't decide where he wanted to rest I made a poll for him. "The Toilet" won, beating "With a Fish" by four votes! However I couldn't get Marvin to go all the way into the toilet, so here is where Marvin settled on sleeping this month...
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On a Toilet
Yep... on a toilet. "It was one of the most single degrading experiances of my life!" States Marvin. "You bastards had the audacity to vote for me to sleep on top of a toilet while you sleep in your warm and comfortable beds. I was forced to use a bog roll as a cushion! I got less then five minutes of sleep on that toilet. And who used it before me? Whoever it was - get your bowels sorted out; it's like something crawled up your ass and died... disgusting." Marvin Jeffers is not happy are you people at the moment... better leave him be for a few weeks.
Mullet WebPoll...
Here are the results of last month's poll...
Where should Marvin Jeffers sleep next?
In the Toilet: 19 votes
In the Road: 3 votes
With a Fish: 15 votes
In a Hedge: 3 votes
With a Dog: 4 votes
Under water: 4 votes
And so the toilet one. I'm guessing the three that voted for the road were hoping Marvin would be run over. Here is this months poll...
Until next time... mullet on!