Rating: PG-urrrr…adult themes, extreme depressingness…
Notes: Painfully out of character…I need help… I can’t believe I did this to them! Somebody get me some fruit!!!!
Too Late to Say I Love You
Dear James,
You will probably never get this. I know that if you ever do, you will most likely think I’m a stupid self-centred bitch. You’re probably right. I know that this is not the best way to let you know, but I can never seem to say anything I want to say, or anything that I really mean, out loud. I guess I’m afraid to be who I really am. I never told you, that of every person I have ever known, I am most comfortable around you. I never told you that every time you smiled at me, you made the world light up a thousand colours brighter. I never told you that when you came back to me that day, after your parents tried to make you stay on their estate and marry Jessiebelle, when you came drifting through the sky in the balloon, and you pulled me up there with you, I fell more deeply in love with you than I’d ever been before.
That’s what I really wanted to tell you; I love you. I think I’ve always loved you, even before I consciously knew. You’re the only thing that keeps me from going insane, and you make me crazy. You’re my day, my night, my breath… my everything. I don’t know why I could never tell you. Even fear is usually overcome by the “power of love”. At least it always goes that way in the movies. But then, I never seem to get the luck around here. Maybe I was just never meant for happiness. But even so, I wanted you to know that, all the time we’ve spent together, all the time I’ve been with you, has been the happiest I’ve known. So, thank you, I guess.
It’s amazing. They say you never know what you have until you’ve lost it. But I’ve always known. I wish I could have told you that. I wish a lot of things had worked out differently. You know, when you told me you loved me, I felt like I’d been touched by an angel, I felt like the whole world disappeared. Time didn’t exist, and there was just you and me, and the sky. I would have told you then, I did try to tell you then. It’s funny; I dreamt all my life about how it would be when you told me, if you told me. I just never reckoned on it being with your dying breath, that the tears in my eyes would be tears of sorrow as well as ones of joy. But this is what I needed to tell you, James. I loved you. I still love you. Who knows, maybe I’ll be seeing you soon.
Yours Always,
Jessie.
As the final tear trickled from her cheek onto the paper, and she read the final words of the letter over one last time, she felt the wind behind her, and wondered if James could see her now. ‘Better if he can’t,’ she thought, ‘easier for him.’
She took a breath and stepped out onto the headland, and walked towards the cliff edge. Sobbing quietly, she folded the letter and held it up to the wind.
“I want you to have this, James,” she whispered, “This is where your body is. If your spirit’s here too, I want you to read what I should have told you a long time ago.”
She closed her eyes, slowly, the painful memory of scattering James’ ashes across the cliff top playing through her mind, her last memory of him.
Taking a deep breath, she felt a strong blast of wind catch her hair. She opened her eyes and let go of the paper, allowing it to blow away. Maybe to wherever James was now.
Sadly, she looked to the side of her and saw the statue of the maiden gazing out to sea. A memory of a time long past, their first visit to this place, the day she had saved James’ life, flashed through her mind. She remembered scorning the maiden, mourning, always waiting for her lost lover.
“There are plenty more fish in the sea,” she had said, ‘But none quite like James.’
“You know,” she said to the statue, “I think I finally understand you.” She took a deep breath and sighed.
“There’s nothing left for me here.” And as the wind picked up, she called to her lost lover, and plunged toward the rocks below.
The End.
What was I thinking? I must be going through a depressing phase. I’m so sorry for killing them, I just had to experiment, yaknow? Everyone loves a good experiment…or not… Oh my God! WAAAAAHH!!! Somebody shoot me! (On second thought please don't...I value my life.)Actually…send me feedback at free_tree@moose-mail.com. Ta!
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