Bored as a 2x4
… … … … It’s boring here… I’m sorry, but Thursdays… should be wiped off the calendar. They’re so bothersome. Think about it. Wednesdays are the middle of the week, so you can at least think “Well, half-way through!” with such a cheery tone. Fridays… that’s a givin. As are Saturday and Sunday. Nobody likes Mondays, unless you have this dream job of yours, in which case- congratulations. Hope you enjoy it. Tuesdays are only slightly better than Thursdays, because there’s some sort of movie-releasing conspiracy/un-written law that says probably 98.8% of all movies to come to video/DVD WILL come out on a Tuesday, just as they come to theaters on Fridays. But what happens on Thursday? Nothing! They’re dreadfully boring as it is, but just try and imagine a Thursday when you don’t have to work, you lost the TV remote, there’s no fresh batteries for the Game Boy, the cat’s asleep, and your best friend has gone shopping for the day. Oh, and, by the way… you’re in a virtually empty cabin. And you’re hungry… Ah, but at least ONE problem with Thursdays can be remedied… Or… not so much… Nothing in the pantry OR fridge…-.- So, back to the couch to laze about and wait for something of interest to happen.
(2 hours later)
Much to my dismay, I’m still waiting. However, I’ve watch the TV Guide channel go through 16 rounds and I’ve flipped through each channel 27 times (at the TV, considering I‘ve lost the remote). Hmm… 16... 27... 6 plus 1 is 7... 2 minus 1 is 1... 7 minus 2 is 5, which is also 6 minus 1... 6 plus 2 is 8, minus 7 is 1...27 plus 16 is 43... 43 is comprised of two numbers, 3 minus 2 is 1, 4 minus 2 is 2, 2 plus 1 is 3, which is the second number in 43... *shakes head* See how bored I get? I come up with complicated math equations that lead to nothing except confusion. Jessie is spelled with 6 letters… I only have 5... 6 minus 5... Is 1...one Meowth… if we left, there’d still be one cat… 6 plus 5 is 11... If we all stay together, including poke’mon we’ve had in the past… there would be 11 of us. Funny how we all fit together like that, eh? Of course, I’m counting Growly and that Shelder Jessie caught that one time… Anyway… If the letters of the alphabet were arranged to be in pennies… A being one, B being 2, C is 3 and so on… in that case, Jessie would be worth about 67 cents… Whereas I would be worth about…48 cents, wow… Some family fortune I would have been in for… Ah, but Meowth’s worth more than either one of us… he’s 84 cents. Lucky cat… I guess that charm is a few karats afterall…
(3 hours later)
Well, I’m too bored to do complicated math anymore, you’ll all be happy to know. But now, I’ve been reduced to looking very closely at a piece of paper… Looking at the tiny little dots… Look close enough, you’ll see them, too. *sighs, feeling under the couch cushions for spare change* Hey! The remote! Somebody, quick! Cue the chorus! *flips on TV* ……oh, don’t tell me the bloody thing needs new batteries… -.- I don’t know where the batteries ARE… *sigh* Well, I might as well look, right? Who knows, I could find something of interest.
Well, I didn’t find batteries, but I did happen across something ten times more interesting, I think. Jessie’s diary… I know I shouldn’t… I know… what I’m doing is horribly, terribly wrong, and is such a crime even I shouldn’t commit… but it’s all I have to keep from dying of boredom! The remote needs batteries, Meowth’s asleep, Jessie’s gone for the day, and I’m by myself, what’s my motivation to keep out of this?! *looks at it* Hmm… well, there’s a lock on it… *shrugs* she expects that to keep a professional criminal out of it, does she? *takes out bent paperclip and picks the lock* That was easy. *opens it* O.O the inside of the cover… *slams it shut, tosses it on the table and cowers in the corner, staring at it* is covered with pictures of me…*slowly reaches out for it, spatula in hand for defensive reasons* *pokes it with spatula* ….. *picks it back up and opens it with spatula* O.O *staring at pictures* this is kind of freaking me out… *gulp* but I’m only doing this so I don’t have to poke myself with thumb tacks for fun and either be sore, or die from blood loss. *turns the page* …Harmless writing… “February 11...What’s up, Jas?” Jas? As in Jasmine? *blank expression, thinking about long lost sister* *continues reading* “That’s short for Jasmeine, BTW, not Jasmine. You’re pronounced jazz-mean.” Oh… “And even then, I only decided on that because if you re-arrange the letters in it… and take out an e, n, and I…” What? *mentally does so* O.O OMG!!! *keeps reading* “I just didn’t want to spell is ‘Jasmine’, because… that would make things difficult…” ….. awww… Jess… “…and I just” …….. “love him so much…” ………… *staring blankly, slowly closes book and locks it back* All this time… All these years, she’s actually lo- O.O *hears door unlock* *panics, glances from diary to front door* I’m dead…. Unless… *bites lip* This is potentially the most dangerous thing I’ll ever do in my entire life… She’s coming inside now… she closes the door… O.O she rounds the corner into the living room; she’s giving me the glare~of~death as she sees me within 5 feet of her diary; her face is turning blood red and she wants to kill me… but I’m able to save myself. I very bravely stand up and cross the room, gathering up every last nerve I have, and kiss her. I slowly come away and brace myself for the undoubtedly beating I’m about to get, but it never comes. I look at her, and her eyes are brimmed with tears. Okay, now I really WAS dead… Not only did she catch me with her diary, but now she’s so mad, she’s crying! She went over to the couch to lie down for a while, and I gave her some space and went to my room to plan a quiet way to leave so she wouldn’t have to worry about the police after she kills me and gets charged for murder. I was sprawled out across the bed, thinking, but I eventually fell asleep there. I woke up and looked at the clock with displayed 6:54 in different colors. I looked at the ceiling for a few minutes and stretched, but something was there. I looked at my side, and Jessie had curled up by me, obviously having forgave me for getting into her personal things. I smiled and tucked a rose behind her ear. Then, I went back to the couch to get a blanket for her. When I came back, she had shifted slightly in her sleep, and she had something in her hands. I dropped the blanket when I saw that she had snatched my journal while I had been sleeping.
