Once upon a time there was a pretty young chicken called Emilyflower who had a deranged yet adorable cousin called MMMF. One day, MMMF and Emilyflower were out for an evening stroll when they were surprised and shocked to see Uncle Roy selling chutney on the streets of Birmingham. Emilyflower and MMMF wondered how they had managed to walk all the way to Birmingham but that's not the point of this story, so I shall continue.
Suddenly, Ainsley popped up behind 'Uncle Roy' and started mumbling something about red tomatoes. Uncle Roy immediately turned purple and started pelting Ainsley with chutney, thinking he was looking down his/her top.
Emilyflower and MMMF were surprised at this sudden display of violence from Roy (even if it was only chutney). They were so surprised that they didn't notice James tied to a tree behind Uncle Roy's stand, wearing pink fluffy handcuffs. Soon, everyone in Birmingham was coated in chutney, except Ainsley. MMMF and Emilyflower marvelled at Uncle Roy's spectacular lack of aim, then went off to enjoy some gingerbread. Later, a different James, who shall remain nameless apart from the fact he was called James, took Emilyflower to see The Incredibles and bought her popcorn.
And everyone lived happily ever after.
Except Uncle Roy, who got arrested for coating Birmingham in chutney. And Ainsley of course, who got severely duffed up by Gordon Ramsay, because Gordon rocks and Ainsley 'isn't a chef, he's a f-ing comedian!!!!'
The End.
