Disclaimer: All I own is Kate, Barlow, Spasm, Eevee, Mal, Pingu, Mika and my shirt.
Notes: Ever wondered what would happen if they made a Team Rocket movie? Me and Roy did the other day whilst watching my Pokemon films. We agreed that while Mewtwo Returns is centred on Team Rocket and has some cute Rocketshippy bits in it (prison!!), it just didn’t involve enough Jessie and James. Plus Domino really bugs me.
Anyway, I decided to write this short fic about Jessie and James going to an award ceremony after releasing their very own movie. I'm not sure what the movie was about…ah heck, they can tell you. Here goes.
Warning: High levels of comedic value are contained within these pages.
ROCKETSHIPPY!! Just thought you ought to know.
As their limo got ever closer to the premiere, Team Rocket could hardly contain their excitement. Jessie in particular was bouncing up and down in her seat. The sequins on her red and gold dress shimmered and sparkled as much as her eyes. She looked like a Russian princess, all red and gold, with matching shoes and a shimmering see-through wrap. Their stylist had even managed to persuade her to wear her hair down, and had produced a magic shampoo that turned its wild tresses into glowing red ringlets. James looked at her. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts…James stopped himself in surprise. What did it matter? They were a couple now, although James found it hard to believe. But whilst making the film, they had discovered they really do have a lot in common, besides loving each other with a passion, though that helped a tad.
So instead of thinking unsexy thoughts, James put his arm around Jessie’s shoulder. Jessie managed to stop bouncing and looked up at him. He really did look exceedingly hot in a suit, though not the horrid stiff ones his parents made him wear. This one was cut to fit him perfectly, and hung on his body with a grace and sophistication that not many men can achieve. Of course, he had a little red rose pinned to his lapel.
Finally they were there. Meowth looked out of the dark windows. Fans were screaming outside, a velvet rope barely keeping them back, as well as a lot of men in dark suits. Meowth almost scratched the limo impatiently.
“Open da door!” he screeched, making the driver practically run out of his seat. He wrenched open the door. The noise was deafening. Fans of all ages screamed at Team Rocket, waving banners in their face. The usual stuff. ‘I love Team Rocket’, ‘Prepare for trouble’, although James was intrigued to see one proclaiming ‘James got me pregnant’. He laughed and gave the girl his autograph. A while back this sort of thing would have embarrassed him, but not any more. You get used to it after a while (or so I'm told, being neither popular nor famous or having my own movie).
They made their way slowly up the famous red carpet, signing autographs and posing for cameras (something they did very well, though with less exaggerated movements. It was impossible to do in a dress, not that James was wearing one…I already described this!!!). Finally, though none of them quite knew how, they managed to make it to their seats without being totally mobbed. It got a bit hectic when girls started throwing their underwear. Thy looked around the hall interestedly.
“Oh my God! Johnny Depp!” said Jessie in excitement.
“And J-Lo. How many crap movies has she starred in now?” asked James.
“I lost count. Pierce Brosnan!!!!!” Jessie was almost standing on her seat. James pulled her down.
“Oh James, I just thought of something,” gasped Jessie. “What if…what if I trip over when we go to accept the award on national television?!”
“Calm down Jess. Let’s get through this ceremony without you having a nervous spasm,” said James. “Speaking of…is that Kate and Barlow?” (Sorry, they begged so hard to be put in. You have no idea how cute they are when they beg! Not in a horny way though…)
“And the twerps,” said Jessie. “They’re gonna sit with us.” Sure enough, the twerp trio and Team Hornio joined Jessie and James. Misty and Kate hugged Jessie.
“I can’t believe you got nominated!” squealed Kate.
“I can! The movie was excellent! I'm so glad I got a part!” said Misty, laughing. Ash, Brock, Barlow and James exchanged knowing glances.
“Girls,” said Ash. “Maybe we should squeal too.”
“You do what you like pal,” said Brock, looking disturbed.
“But seriously James, congrats on the movie,” said Barlow. There was a lot of hand shaking and manly hugging at this point…real guy stuff.
“Where are Pikachu and Togepi?” asked James.
“Watching from the Pokemon day-care centre. They can’t wait to see you on screen again!” said Ash.
“We only get shown if we win,” James reminded him.
“Which you will!” Kate joined their conversation. Just in case you’re wondering, Eevee and Mal had decided not to come. It would look too weird having empty seats at their table that weren’t allowed to be filled. Instead they sat with their eyes glued to the TV at home. They’d both squealed and hugged when Jessie and James walked up the red carpet together.
“They really deserve this,” said Eevee. “They were dealt a hard hand in life. I'm glad they finally got the fame and fortune they always dreamed of.”
By the way, Tracey had also got wind of the award ceremony. Ash, in pure panic, had almost exploded when the Pokemon Watcher had announced he was coming. Brock however, kept his head and gave Tracey the wrong address. This meant he was presently on a train heading for Alaska.
Jessie leant against her partner. “I don’t think I could be any happier.”
“Say that again when we win the award,” said James, putting his arm around her and kissing the top of her head.
“If we win the award, I’ll explode,” Jessie warned him. “I'm not made to be happy. I'm made to be violent.”
“I'm sure you’ll manage to be both,” said James. Jessie poked him. “You know, you’re just proving me right.” They chatted for a while then a hush fell over the room as none other than Terry Wogan walked onto the stage. They tensely sat through half an hour of awards, then suddenly…
“This year’s nominations for the Best Newcomers award are…Zoë Montenaro for her part as Maria in West Side Story…” A clip was shown of a crappy rip off of West Side Story. “…Pete Baker for his part in Free Trial…”
“I’ve never even heard of that,” Ash whispered.
“You haven’t heard of a lot of things Ash,” said Brock.
“…and lastly, a joint nomination, Jessie and James for their part in Team Rocket: The Movie.” A pun was shown from their movie, and the whole hall laughed. Jessie was bouncing on her seat again, her crossed fingers in her mouth. James had a sneaky suspicion that she’d also crossed her toes.
“And the winner is…” Terry ripped open the envelope. Brock and Misty clung to each other subconsciously and Kate was almost on Barlow’s lap. Back at home, Eevee squeezed Mal’s hand so hard it turned purple and Togepi and Pikachu jumped up and down in excitement.
Meanwhile, Tracey was holding a map in the middle of a raging blizzard. “Where is Happy Little Elf Town?” he asked an Eskimo. The Eskimo looked at him and ran away screaming.
(Translated) “Aaaahhh!! The gay headband wearing one!!! I must tell the king!!!” Minutes later, Tracey was bundled into an igloo that had bars over the windows and a high security door. Two burly Eskimos stood outside.
(Translated) “He is the so called ‘watcher’,” said one, named Pingu.
(Translated) “Perv,” said Mika.
“…Jessie and James for their part in Team Rocket: The Movie!” Jessie screamed.
“Omigod!!!!” she said. James pulled her up.
“Come on, don’t just sit there,” he said. Together they made their way to the stage. Jessie found she didn’t trip. The adrenaline, the thing actors rely on most, is what got her through. She felt like she was floating. Terry handed them the award. It looked like a twisted flame of glass, and it had a black marble base with their names and ‘Best Newcomers’ inscribed on it. They stepped up to the microphone. They had agreed earlier that Jessie would do the talking. They didn’t want James to say ‘Oooh’ on live TV.
“Wow,” said Jessie, looking at the award. “What can I say? Thank you so much for everyone who saw the movie. I know people say this all the time, but we really couldn’t have done it without you. Um…a big thank you to everyone who helped make the movie, especially the director ‘Miss Comedic Value’ and to all the others who acted in it. We had a great time and this belongs to them as well as us.” Misty, Eevee and Kate did unison reaching-for-the-tissues. At this point Jessie started crying. James took over.
“Just some acknowledgments: to Kate, Barlow and Spasm, more commonly known as Team Hornio. To Team Twerp, including Tracey, who sadly couldn’t make it today. Also to Kate and Barlow’s invisible friends, the author and co author.”
At home Eevee and Mal screamed.
“Kate and Barlow told them!” Eevee said.
“We got mentioned on TV!” Mal said, hugging her delightedly.
“This is the best night of my life!”
********************
Later, Jessie and James sat together on their sofa, looking at the award.
“I can’t believe we won,” said Jessie. “But where are we gonna put this thing?”
“It’s gonna look pretty daft on the mantelpiece,” James agreed. He stretched lazily and put his arm around Jessie. She snuggled up to him. “Maybe we should build a trophy case. I have some tools.”
“And I have a personal hotline to DIY SOS,” said Jessie. “Maybe we should give it to charity.”
“No way! This is ours,” said James. Jessie leant forwards and put the award on the coffee table. She liked being able to lean back and once more fall into James’s arms.
“I love you James,” she said.
“I love you too,” said James, kissing her. “Hey, I wonder what happened to Tracey?”
“He’ll turn up. He always does, unfortunately,” said Jessie, rolling her eyes.
Far far away, but not far enough, Tracey sat in his prison/igloo, his teeth chattering.
“Um, guys? I'm getting kinda cold in here,” he called to his guards.
(Translated) “Should we answer him?” asked Pingu.
“Why should we?” asked Mika. “He’s better paid than us, and everyone hates him.”
“Good point.” Pingu got out a toboggan. “Wanna come tobogganing?”
“Sure.” They sped off together on the toboggan. Inside the igloo, Tracey called out to no one.
“Pingu? Mika? Anyone? I don’t wanna be an icicle!”
