Why I Am the Way I Am.
People are far too quick to judge. With things like “The Japanese have dirty minds, they’re shows and cartoons aren’t worth watching”, or “You’re too old to watch that, it’s a kid’s show.” Or, there’s always the one I connect with the most… “He’s so gay.” Well, let me tell you something. I know quite a few Japanese, and they’re not even the slightest bit perverted. Let kids and teenagers watch cartoons. Soon enough they’ll be grown up, and won’t have time for the simple things, like cartoons. And first impressions aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking through a part of town I’ve been through before and the people give me strange looks and start to whisper to each other. I know they’re talking about me, and I know they’re talking about the cross dressing. But they don’t know. They don’t understand. They couldn’t understand. I’m not mad at anyone for not understanding, just for not thinking. Whenever Jessie and Meowth and I go back to TRHQ for whatever reason, Butch and the other guys always give me looks and start snickering once they think I can’t hear them, but I’m not stupid. If you really want to know why I put up with the ridiculing and the cross dressings…
As you know, I had anything but a happy childhood, what with Jezebel and all… I still have scars… Only 2 noticeable ones, though, on my back. There’s actually another one, on top of my head. One day, she decided to stand me in front of a paper target and play William Tell with me. Her aim was a little off and the arrow brazed my head. An inch lower, and she would have killed me… But that’s why I always have my hair parted in the middle. The scar is right dead center, so if I parted my hair any other way, the scar would make it fluffier and people would notice. So know, when I say I have scars from those dark, dark days, I’m not just talking about the mental and emotional ones. Anyway… So Jezebel may have driven me away, but I didn’t get out without a few scuffs and dings. She had etched a permanent fear of red-haired women with bad tempers into my brain. As you also know, I later met up with Jessie. At first, I wasn’t afraid of her. She was my friend, and kept the mean kids at school from killing me. But after we got expelled and joined that bike gang… That’s when the problems started… Jessie had gone and gotten herself involved with one of the members, though I asked her not to. Somehow I could sense the pain he would put her through. For a while, Jessie would just tell me that I was wrong about him, and that he was sweet, and misunderstood, like me. But one day, she came back from her 3rd date with him in tears. I tried to ask her what was wrong, but she just yelled at me, stormed off to her room, slammed the door and cried herself to sleep. The next morning, I decided to do something nice for her. I got up early, made her breakfast and put a rose in a little vase. I put it all on a tray and gave it to her, but when she saw me trying to be so nice, she started yelling at me and throwing pillows and telling me to go away and leave her alone. I took her breakfast back to the table and sat down, looking at it, wondering what had happened. A few minutes later, her “boyfriend” came up. I watched him to see if I could get any idea as to what had happened, but I couldn’t see anything. He came by, saw her breakfast, and walked off with it like it was for him. I told him that the food was for Jessie. He stopped where he was, and turned around to look at me. Being in a bike gang teaches you one thing-never show your fear. I tried my best, but I guess he could still see it. He came back over to me, and I still hid my fear. By then, he was inches away from me. He stared into my eyes as I did the same. Then, almost too fast for me to see, he reached around and hit the back of my head. Hard. I almost fell out of my chair as he walked off with Jessie’s breakfast, smiling. He was gone the next day. That day, Jessie apologized for yelling at me, and said that she was just upset. However, ever since that incident, she’d been apprehensive around men, and didn’t like to be told what to do.
Nowadays, when we can’t think of anything better to get Pikachu, Jessie gets all depressed and starts to jump to conclusions, saying that we’ll have to quit the team and fend for ourselves again. She’s so afraid that if we have to quit, that she’ll run into that ex-boyfriend of hers, and he’ll go at her again. I can understand where that would be a problem, because we both know that I’m terrified of people being angry at me because of Jezebel. When I was young, anger was shown in a harsh, cruel way. When Jessie starts to think about her ex-boyfriend, she reminds herself of how much he hurt her, and how much she hates him now. Then, she looks up, sees me, and wants revenge. She tells me to get the dress, and of course, I’m terrified of her being angry with me, so I give in. People think that I could at least act like I don’t enjoy it. They’re right. I don’t enjoy it. But Jessie wants me to act like I do, because not only does it fool people, but she just feels better when she gets her revenge. I don’t blame her, though. I should think everyone would be scared of her ex-boyfriend and Jezebel. I’d joke and say they’d love each other, but I won’t. If they ever did, I would feel so bad for their children… So I go on with my life, dealing with insecurities I wish I didn’t have, and rumors I wished never existed. But there’s nothing anyone can do about that now. I guess Jessie and I really are just misfits… but hey… Birds of a feather... I can understadn where people would also think that we’d make such a good little couple… I can understand that perfectly. We’ve both tried so hard to help each other with our problems and insecurities… I suppose we could make an interesting couple… But that, my friends, is another story. So remember. Never be too quick to judge. As far as if Jessie and I decide to take you up on your offer…Hmm hmm… All in good time…
THE END
