5-15-02
Ly: Hello, Jeeves
J: Greetings, would you like to ask a question?
Ly: Naw, I’m just here to talk today.
J: . . .
Ly: You’re pretty quiet today. Not feeling well?
J: . . .
Ly: ...Monsters?
J: Where can I learn about the TV show “Monsters?”
Ly: Ah, I knew that would get you talking; you always liked monsters.
J: Where can I learn about the TV show “Monsters?”
Ly: I think you’re becoming obsessed
J: . . .
Ly: If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. But you can’t get help if you can’t admit you have a problem.
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on Don?
Ly: Hey, don’t change the topic! Leave the Italians out of this.
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on Don?
Ly: . . . You’re really stuck on not talking about your problems today, aren’t you?
J: Aphorisms
Ly: What the hell are those?
J: The least torture for those in the Hell
Ly: THE Hell?
J: How can I find Hell?
Ly: Well, at the rate you are going, I doubt you will have any problems doing just that.
J: Buying a new or existing home
Ly: No, I’m moving into the dorms first.
J: How can I find a mover in Alabama?
Ly: Whistle?
J: Where can I find encyclopedic recourses on Whistles?
Ly: The same place you find the information on the mobsters, but I do not recommend it.
J: Where can I find information about the movie “Mobsters?”
Ly: That’s a movie?
J: Would you like more resources for movies?
Ly: No. I was just looking to talk to you today.
J: Where can I find information about the movie “Just Looking?”
Ly: I told you that I do not want to discuss movies!
J: Would you like more resources for movies?
Ly: No, thank you.
J: Most complete Hummel Store in the World
Ly: What the hell is a Hummel?
J: Where can I find the official web site forHummel figurines?
Ly: *purses lips* That didn’t answer my question
J: Where can I shop of handbags online?
Ly: No, no. Lips, not bags. Lips.
J: Where can I buy messenger bags online?
Ly: LIPS!
J: Miracle Lip Plumper Sale!
Ly: That is in no way the answer I expected from you.
J: I say no
Ly: ...To what?
J: Welcome to Time.com
Ly: So you don’t want time? Or you don’t want welcome?
J: The Net Abuse FAQ
Ly: So, that means you don’t want...
J: Netiquette Guidelines
Ly: Is that so...
J: Been here so long
Ly: Oh, so I suppose you’re pretty confidant that you already know the guidelines?
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on Confidante?
Ly: Perhaps if you actually GET an encyclopedia, you would not have to ask me that so often
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on get (Jewish document)?
Ly: You’re not listening to me
J: Teenagers today, Are you listening to me?
Ly: You’re the one who’s not paying attention!
J: Where can I find information about the movie “The One”?
Ly: Where do you pull this stuff from?
J: Majel Barrett Roddenberry goes to Andromeda
Ly: And that is where all your damned questions come from?
J: Where can I learn more about the musician or the band “Damned”?
Ly: Who would call themselves that?
J: A Declaration from the poor oppressed people of England
Ly: No, that’s God Attack the Queen. Get your facts straight.
J: Would you like more resources on Religion?
Ly: No, I’m not overly religious, thanks.
J: Where can I compare prices for “Religious?”
Ly: How can you buy religion?
J: How can I buy collectables-religious via online auction?
Ly: I’m sure E-bay has something of the sort. They have everything.
J: Where can I find the auction site Ebay?
Ly: ... Online
J: Online Yellow pages
Ly: Maybe not. I don’t think they’re listed.
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on Don?
Ly: I told you before! Go to Italy!
J: The Orbitz Hotel search!
Ly: *blink* Well, that would be helpful if you plan to go and want to sleep there too.
J: How can I get a good night’s sleep?
Ly: Close your eyes and hope for the best.
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on hope?
Ly: Gah! If you say one more damned thing involving those books, I’ll take my shoe off and hit you with it!
J: Where can I buy Adidas online?
Ly: You just answered that one. Online.
J: Asking for Help Online
Ly: That’s your job
J: CareerBuilder.com
Ly: What ever happened to having a nice conversation with you?
J: USS Galaxy Sim Log
Ly: Oh, I see. Your mind has been taken over by Sims
J: Where can I see photographs of Ohio?
Ly: In... Ohio?
J: Where can I find encyclopedic geographical resources on Ohio?
Ly: Why are you asking me so many god damned questions? I’m just a person, you’re the search engine!
J: Where can I find comparisons and reviews on Search Engines?
Ly: You won’t want to. Not after the review i’m going to give you!
J: How can I make a charitable donation to the Red Cross?
Ly: What?
J: What! Magazine
Ly: I think you’re hallucinating, Jeeves
J: What is Ask Jeeves?
Ly: Do not get philosophical on me, young man. I am not interested in your search for self actualization.
J: Where can I find a directory of information related to men?
Ly: Playboy manor?
J: Where can I find a map of the city of Manor, Texas?
Ly: you know, for a helpful search engine, you sure aren’t very helpful.
J: Where can I find an online tutorial on searching engines?
Ly: Having problems using yourself?
J: Teach yourself Java 2 in Twenty-One days
Ly: I use Html, though.
J: Where can I take an online tutorial on HTML?
Ly: I do not know. Paul taught me.
J: Where can I find encyclopedic geographical resources on Maine?
Ly: That really is not necessary. He lives in New York. You’re about two hundred miles east of your target.
J: What is the distance between cities in New York and cities in New York?
Ly: You’re making about as much sense as a Japanese VCR instruction manual.
J: Where can I learn the sense of hearing?
Ly: The same place you learn the sense of LISTENING!
J: Where can I learn about the sense of hearing?
Ly: School
J: What schools are in Alabama?
Ly: I’m guessing the same type that are in other states.
J: Where can I buy clothing from Guess?
Ly: Aren’t they a bit too expensive for a computer program?
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on computer program?
Ly: You ARE a computer program!
J: Where can I find encyclopedic resources on computer program?
Ly: I see that this is getting us nowhere.
J: Where can I find a Map of the country United States?
Ly: See? Just like I said.
J: How to be a Web Whore, Just like me.
Ly: That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m going now. Good bye, until we meet again!
J: Match Maker. come has responded to this Relevant Content!
Ly: ...Good bye, Jeeves
J: What is Ask Jeeves?
The Wisdom of Jeeves Crossroads