Roxane's Memory Book
Dear Journal, Act one
Today I saw a man gazing up at me from the floor of the Hotel De Bourgogne. He was so beautiful that the word was renamed.
His quiet eyes kept locked on me, and what could I do but try to ignore them. Such beauty, and such grace is, no must be true love.
I felt giddy with happiness when I thought of a plan to capture his heart and hold it against mine for all eternity. With out much questioning I was
informed that his name was Christian De Neuvillette and that he was joining the Guards, and I instantly thought of my cousin Cyrano De Bergerac.
Oh my dear, dear cousin how I adore his wild ways. I will ask him to watch out for Christian, to make sure that he does not even fight in a duel.
Yes this is what I will do.
Love,
Roxane
Dear Journal,
Today all I could think about was Christian. His gazing eyes were carved into my memory, and with every breath I saw him again. I am convinced that
we were destined to be together like a flower and a bee we are interdependent and need each other to live. My date to see Cyrano is drawing closer,
and I hope with every fiber in my body that I will be able to convince him to watch out for my dear love. I hope that all of our years playing together will be
enough to burden him with this favor from me. To put this much responsibility on someone's shoulders is to trust them a great deal and to expect only love in return.
I hope that I am not endangering our friendship by asking for this deed of love.
Love,
Roxane
Act three
Dear Journal,
Such wonders have happened in the past few days, but accompanied buy heartbreak. Christian spoke to me from under my
balcony. He spoke so softly and intimately that I thought time would stop to prolong it. Even his voice seemed different, changed by the
overflowing emotions that spilled from his soul. I wanted to come down, but was stopped. I asked him to come up but he declined saying it was his only chance to
talk to her from the shadows. I was enchanted at this sudden romantic behavior. When he asked me for a kiss I was shocked, but butterflies came to
my stomach and made me feel giddy. When he did I knew I had tasted a bit of heaven, and angel from above. What occurred next was so blurred with happiness
and sorrow that I do not know where one ends and the other begins. When De Guiche sent a letter requesting that Christian and I be married it was as if I was
being blessed. I was so light I could have floated up towards the sky. But it was just to good to last, no more then 5 minutes after we were married, Christian was sent of to
war by that awful man De Guiche. I was devastated; I thought I had stopped all those men from fighting in a war. A fight where families lose fathers and Wives
lose their husbands. I had to ask Cyrano to watch him, to watch my dear Christian. He would try to keep him the way I left him. He said he would try, but he was sure Christian
would write every single day. After they left I couldn't stop crying, all my happiness seemed to have marched in my door and then fallen out of the window unable to return. Why must
this happen to me? Why must I be tormented and in fear just waiting for his last letter?
Love,
Roxane
Dear Journal Act Four
Everyday is not complete without my daily letter. It arrives everyday and I am then blessed with his heart and soul. Many of the letters are damp with tears and I now that his heart is
shaking from weeping so. After reading so many of his thoughts I realized that I loved him not for his eyes and lips but for his soul and thoughts. Each letter is filled with his deepest yearnings
and greatest fears. His love for me is prominent in even the most ugly words. I long to tell him of my newfound knowledge, and for me to see his face work its way into his wonderful smile.
Infact, I will go him at his base for I can no longer stay here waiting for him to die. I must go, I must!
Love,
Roxane
Dear Journal,
I have left our quiet little town in order to see my love again. The countryside has war draped around its shoulders. Ruined buildings and rotting flesh are now part of the
fields and meadows. The water in the rivers is not fit to drink for fear of a dead soul up river. Some people said I wouldn't be able to get through, but I did by telling
them I had to find a lover. I can not wait to see Christian again. It will happen soon.
Love,
Roxane
Dear Journal,
Christian is dead and with him my soul and my heart. As he lay there dying I could feel my wings which carried me so high break, and with me fall to the ground. I
was over come with sorrow and I didn't want to let him go. I can no longer live in white and be innocent as a dove. Instead I will be a raven forever in mourning.
I can still see his beautiful eyes with the look of knowing they are going to die. Knowing that they will no longer be able to grace this earth with such pride and
beauty that it makes the clouds sing. His beautiful letter that was sprinkled with his blood and tears and I knew that somehow he had known and had written the most
beautiful piece of his soul he had ever written. I now only have Cyrano and I know he feels the loss as I do. He can feel what others think and that is why I am so
thankful of beautiful soul.
Love,
Roxane
Dear Journal, Act Five
For fifteen years I have lived in this convent and for fifteen years Cyrano has graced me with his presence. But no more for Cyrano is dead, dead like Christian.
I have now lost my love twice and I did not even know. Cyrano had written all of those letters, the ones I fell in love with. I was married to
Christian but in love with Cyrano, but what cruel power kept it going for all these years? Was it pride? Was he just to proud to dishonor his friend? Or was it
fear for what I would say? I now know that love at first sight cannot be true. For it is based on looks, and looks alone. Because you cannot see someone's soul by
looking at them, you have to discover it by other means and carish it. I will now feel guilty forever for what I did to those two men. Leading them around unknowingly.
As my love died a second time I knew I had really lost him, and we never got to enjoy our passion and love. I remember he started to recite the letter, and how he spoke it.
"Farewell Roxane, because to-day I die", I knew it was his because he read it with such feeling. "I know that it will be to-day. My own dearly beloved…"
Love,
Roxane
