Chapter 2
Let me go back to my fist visit to Neverland, to the day I was tied up aboard the ship and about to be forced to see all the boys being killed. I did my best that day to appear cool and calm, but I was afraid. More afraid than I ever had been. People died in Neverland, and I was so afraid that it was about to happen to the boys. That moment had plagued me in my nightmares ever since. In my dream the ticking crocodile and Peter never showed up. In my dream the boys was forced to jump of the plank, one by one. In my dream I watched it with Hookīs claw raising my chin so I couldnīt look away. And then it was just me and him and he raised the claw. I always woke up the moment it started to tore my flesh, screaming and then sobbing with my arms around Nana. She was always so upset by my dreams. But lately the nightmare had taken another disturbing turn. Now it ended with the Captain leaning close to me, his surprisingly blue eyes burning in his dark face. And when the claw came down it teared away my nightgown and I stod there naked and shivering. He whispered; "My beauty", and I would wake up hot and disturbed, with feelings I didnīt want to name. Feelings I was sure a proper young lady should ever have.
And now I was here, alone with my nightmare. As he rose and came towards me I tried to collect all my dignity and forced my voice to sound calm and steady;
"I thought you were dead, Captain Hook." His smile widened slightly; "Yes, that was what I wanted. It is so much easier to get things done, when no one intefers and people hardly ever do that if they believe you are deceased. It took me some time to find a new ship, but it was well worth waiting for. And after all, revenge is a dish best served cold."
As he spoke he sat down beside me on the bed. He touched my hair with his hand. When I instinctivly tried to move away he wound a handfull of my hair round his hand and pulled me closer. The pain forced my head back and closer to his than I liked.
"I always meant to come for you and it is a pleasant surprise to find that you have grown so much. You see, I have some plans for you, my dear. Normally I donīt care much for children, but you were such a beautiful child that I would not have minded at all. But it pleases me much more to find you a young woman instead.
I was really scared now and when I spoke, my voice wavered;
"If itīs Peter you want to get to through me, it wont work. He wont remember me anymore." "Ah, but the revenge is meant for you too, my beauty. You always looked so collected, so cool. And I do not think that brat Pan would have been such a pest that day, if you had not been there. "What are you going to do with me?" "Why, hurt you, of course. Rob you of your innocence. Make it impossible for you to ever return home." He tugged me head even closer and whispered in my ear, making me shiver. "I will hurt you, but I leave it for you to decide how much. Please me and it will be bearable. Displease me and you will wish for death long before I am finished with you."
Isnīt it odd how still and silent it can be sometimes, like the world has stopped, like itīs only you who still breathe in the world. Thatīs what it felt like in that moment. The Captain fell silent, to close for me to see his face, but I felt him smiling against my neck. My eyes filled with tears that slowly trickled down my face, but I didnīt dare to wipe them away. I didnīt dare to move, because I didnīt want him to move. It felt like we were sitting for hours like that, though it can only have been minutes.
And then someone knocked at the door and promply opened it. The Captain released me and strolled back to his chair and lit another cigar. A young man, just a few years older than me, entered. He was clad in breeches and a wide white shirt, carefully mended. His long dark-blond hair was neatly braided and he had an open and friendly face. He had a broad mouth and sea- green eyes that watched me with interest. He was rather good-looking and under normal circumstances I would have smiled at him. He was carrying a tray with some food and a bag that looked familiar to me. He placed the tray on a table and the bag at the floor. He gave me another glance and I thought I could see pity in his face. Then he left.
Captain Hook waved his claw in the direction of the bag.
"I had some of your clothes packed. Now I have things to do, but I will return tonight. Then we will continue our conversation. I am quite looking forward to it." Then he too left me, locking the door after him.
Alone I had no reasons not to cry, and I did. But you canīt cry forever. Eventually I washed my face in the basin and told myself harshly not to be a wimp. I then openend my bag to see what had been packed for me. In my misery I couldnīt help laughing. There was hardly any underwear, just my best and laciest. There was no corset, no stockings and no shoes, apart from my bedroom slippers. None of my practiccal everyday dresses had been included, but both my evening gowns. They were highly impractical dresses for shipwear, one in white lace and the other in sheer blue sild gauze.
The only thing that was remotely suitable was a teagown in silk velvet of rich burgundy red. It was heavily embroidered and ornated, but it was high in the neck, had long sleeves and was cut to fit rather loosely. The nightgown I had been wearing was in thin cotton and it was a relief to get dressed in something that covered me up.
I then settled down to eat. It all tasted like sand to me, but I ate it anyway. I have always had a practical mind and my good senses told me that it was a bad idea to starve, when you have to face a man like Captain Hook. I needed every source of strength I could find. I couldnīt help thinking about the things the Captain would do to me. I was not totally innocent of the things that could happen between a man and a woman, when I got engaged my mother had told me what to expect of the wedding night. I felt sure that it was things like that he had in mind. And I was also sure that it was more to it than my mother had said and that I was about to find those things out, whatever my wishes were.
End of Chapter 2