JOKE NUMBER 1. ONE DAY A NEWFIE WAS STANDING OUT AT THE ROAD WATCHING HIS HOUSE BURN DOWN. A MAN DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD GOT OUT OF HIS CAR AND ASKED THE MAN, "WHY AREN'T YOU JUMPING UP AND DOWN SCREAMING THAT YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE?" THE NEWFIE SMILED AND SAID, "I HAVE ENOUGH LUMBER IN THE ATTIC TO BUILD ANOTHER."
NUMBER 2.
ONE DAY TWO NEWFIES WHERE STANDING ON ROOF LAYING DOWN SHINGLES WHEN THERE LADDER BLEW DOWN. THE FIRST NEWFIE SAID,"WE SHOULD JUMP INTO THE PILE OF COW CRUD AND SAVE OUR LIVES." THE SECOND AGREED SO NEWFIE ONE JUMPED INTO THE PILE. HE YELLED UP TO NEWFIE ONE AND SAID,"ITS ALL RIGHT ITS ONLY ANKLE DEEP." THE SECOND NEWFIE KNEW IT WAS NOW OR NEVER SO HE JUMPED. THE SECOND SAID,"I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS ONLY ANKLE DEEP?" THE FIRST SAID,"I DID SAY THAT BUT I JUMPED IN HEAD FIRST!" 
