Written by Czar Fruitcake
SUMMARY: Robbie has a very high fever and begins smacking various members of the Camden family.
Robbie’s fever was raging as he walked slowly out of Simon’s room, down the stairs, into the backyard, and up to the garage apartment. The door was unlocked. Robbie entered the apartment, and was deliriously disappointed to find that Kevin wasn’t home.
As he was headed back to the house, Kevin came through the gate. “Robbie,” he said in an irritatingly authoritative voice, “are you sure you should be out of bed? I’m a policeman, you know, and I think that means you should be in bed even though I am speaking very haltingly.”
THWACK. THWACK. THWACK.
Robbie smacked Kevin three times rapidly upside the head. “I don’t think you should hit people,” Kevin said. Robbie smacked him again. “I am very upset by this hitting,” Kevin said seriously, “especially considering you still somehow want my girlfriend and even though I am obviously more masculine than you are, that disturbs me greatly.” Kevin then realized that Robbie was delirious.
“Are you hallucinating?” he asked, not realizing that Robbie would not realize it if he was actually hallucinating. “Because, as a police officer, I am aware that hallucinating is bad.” THWACK. Robbie hit Kevin one more time.
“Stupid, macho I-pretend-like-Lucy-doesn’t-whine male kiss-for-revenge-at-dumb-times copper.” Robbie walked back into the house, leaving Kevin looking like a thoughtful piece of delicious eye candy.