Written by Czar Fruitcake
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m catching up on this season in reruns, and man do I have some heavy thwackage to do!!!
SUMMARY: Ben gets his.
Robbie walked away from the entryway, leaving a thwackage war in his wake. He walked into the kitchen where he saw Ben, eating a sandwich.
“Hey Robbie, I have to ask you,” Ben said. “Don’t Kevin and I make good brothers? I mean, doesn’t it seem like we’re brothers? We both have square jaws and good looks and…”
THWACK! Robbie thwacked Ben upside the head. Ben looked at him confused.
“Why did you do that? Is it because I’m still in love with Mary, as are you and Wilson, and half of Fort Lauderdale? Or is it because of my boyish charm and stunning good looks?”
“Actually,” Robbie replied, “it’s because you and Kevin make such a big deal out of being brothers. You’d think you guys were somehow more related than Simon and Matt are or something from the way you carry on about being brothers.”
Ben looked at him. “But Kevin and I really ARE brothers,” he said.
THWACK! “What the heck are you talking about?” Robbie asked, giving him another THWACK for good measure. Robbie turned to leave, but in his fevered stupor remembered another event that just screamed for a thwackdown.
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! “That’s for being the kind of goof-ball-incoherent-mentally-deficient-ape-like simpleton who falls asleep in someone’s bed while reading their diary, leaving the diary bookmarked to the page by his muscular chest, as if there isn’t enough incriminating proof already.”
Ben stared after Robbie as Robbie left the room. What did incoherent mean again? He wondered, smiling in a lovable fashion.
“I’m a fireman,” he said to himself. “And my brother is a policeman.”