Written by Czar Fruitcake
AUTHOR’S NOTE: If you happen to be insane enough to be reading this, please let me know… you should consider joining the Fruitcake Alliance, as you are truly fruitcakish. If you would like to join the alliance and receive our special fruitcake newsletter, email fruitcake headquarters @ fruitcakeHQ@yahoo.com. AND please review so that other people may see enough reviews that they’ll come read it and connect with their inner fruitcake.
Seven-year-old Buffy Summers was eating a strawberry ice cream cone and making a complete mess of it. She licked some of the mess off her face with her abnormally agile tongue.
She heard a very familiar voice whispering to her from behind a bush in her neighbor’s yard. She was beginning to dread the annual visits of the leprechaun, as he always made her do something she later regretted.
“Psssssst,” he said. She tried to ignore him, but his voice sounded so green and sparkly that she couldn’t help but respond.
“What do you want?!” she demanded with all of the anger she had in her little seven year old torso.
“See that dog?” the leprechaun questioned. Buffy didn’t want to look, but she had to.
“Yes. That’s Shotzee, my neighbor’s dachshund.” Coincidence looked at the wiener dog with an evil grin on his face.
“I want you to give Shotzee a piggy-back ride,” the leprechaun instructed.
Buffy shook her head. “No way,” she replied with some of her trademark sass. “Shotzee doesn’t want a piggy-back ride.”
“Yes he does,” Coincidence said, “and more importantly, Buffy, I want you to give that dachshund a piggy back ride.” The magic tone entered his voice, and Buffy had no choice but to comply.
“Here Shotzee,” she said. The dog eyed her speculatively.
“Shotzee,” Coincidence said, “I want you to let Buffy give you a piggy-back ride.” Shotzee complied.
Seven year old Buffy ran down the street, her pig tails flying behind her and Shotzee’s ears lifting up in the wind.
“Damn leprechaun,” muttered the dog.
“Hehehehehehe Muahahahaha,” said Coincidence.
PS no dachshunds were harmed in the making of this fanfic, and the Fruitcake Alliance does not in anyway support dachshund piggy-back rides. If you try to give an unwilling dachshund a piggy-back ride, you are an evil person who should be thwacked