Turning the Tables on Pepe La Pew


BY: Cassy

Disclaimer: The cross-over continues! Ramses and Kylie are with Gigs. Kimmy and Tim are with me. All other players belong to Laurell, we're just borrowing them.

It was pitch black when I opened my eyes.  The
 covers were warm...the body I 
 was snuggled up to was *not*.  THAT brought me fully
 awake. Where was I?
  
 I rolled over and felt around until I found a
 nightstand with a lamp on it.  
 Clicking it on, I turned back to see Asher.  His arm
 was still partially 
 under my body, the hand laying limp where it had
 slid from my shoulder.  
 Sometime after I'd fallen asleep, he'd either
 stripped or changed into 
 pajamas.  One shoulder and part of his chest showed
 smooth and bare.  His 
 golden hair spread on the pillow around his head
 like a halo.  An expression 
 of utter peace was on his flawless, lifeless face. 
 My beautiful Angel of 
 Death.  True to his word, he hadn't left me. 
  
 I lay there, propped on my elbow, for quite some
 time just admiring his 
 beauty.  Part of me missed the false scars...I had
 been used to them.  Now, 
 he was perfect.  I couldn't imagine *why* someone so
 beautiful had seen fit 
 to burden themselves with *me*.  How could I ever
 hope to keep him?
  
 I must've stayed in that position for too long. My
 shoulder started to ache. 
 My hand brushed my throat as I reached to rub my
 shoulder.  I drew in a sharp 
 hiss at the tenderness that motion revealed. 
 Gingerly, I prodded the flesh 
 on the right side of my neck.  It was sore, a little
 swollen, and slightly 
 feverish.  What had I done to it?
  
 Then the memories of the previous evening came
 flooding back.  Jean-Claude 
 had attacked me in the Turkish bath...and Ramses
 pulled him off of me. 
  
 I padded to the bathroom to check out the wound.  It
 took a minute for my 
 eyes to adjust to the harsher, brighter light in the
 bathroom.  What I saw in 
 the mirror chilled me.  My eyes looked wild, the
 lids puffy and dark.  My 
 hair was disheveled from sleep.  My skin was much
 paler than usual, almost 
 translucent.  On the left side of my neck were two
 neat, nearly healed 
 puncture wounds.  Touching them only tickled a
 little...no tenderness there, 
 where Asher had fed during the plane trip in last
 night.  The right side of 
 my neck was another story altogether.  The area
 around the two angry red 
 wounds looked swollen.  The bite looked more like
 rips than punctures.  
 Jean-Claude hadn't wanted to let go of me, and his
 fangs had torn the wounds 
 wide when Ramses had pulled him off.  I wondered how
 much blood I'd lost just 
 from that.
  
 I was surprised not to find any dried blood or
 bloodstains on my throat or 
 gown.  Asher must've cleaned me up some before
 settling in for the day.
  
 Meanwhile, I looked like shit.  A glance at my watch
 told me that it was 
 close to sundown.  I couldn't let Asher see me like
 this.  I set about 
 freshening up.  Then I changed out of the nightgown
 and into my cream 
 cowl-neck sweater with gold beadwork, a pair of
 black jeans, and my black 
 suede granny boots. 
  
 I had just finished brushing my hair, when Asher
 seemed to materialize behind 
 me in my reflection.  I laid the brush down and
 watched him in the mirror.  
 My pulse had quickened at the sight of him in his
 full beauty and his eyes 
 open.  He placed his hands gently on my shoulders,
 pulling me back to his 
 chest.  My hands slipped up to cover his.
  
 "How are you feeling, ma rose d'acier?  Are you
 still angry with me?" he 
 asked softly.  In response, I pulled his arms around
 me like a protective 
 blanket.  "I'll live," I said.  "And no, I'm not
 still angry with you.  Thank 
 you for staying instead of going to your coffin." 
 His arms tightened around 
 me in a hug.
  
 Asher turned me to face him.  His hand brushed the
 raw bite wound as he 
 leaned down to kiss me, and I yelped.  He moved the
 hair away from it and 
 gave it a close inspection.  When he moved back
 where I could see him, his 
 brows were knit together with worry.  "I am sorry,
 Tamara.  I should never 
 have left you alone.  I did not realize that
 Jean-Claude was already that far 
 gone," he apologized.
  
 "You don't need to apologize, mon cher," I soothed. 
 "I *asked* for some time 
 alone, remember?  And I thought you saw the bite
 last night.  *Someone* had 
  to have cleaned it up."
  
 "Oui, I did," he replied.  "But it was already close
 to sunrise at the time.  
 I couldn't afford the time to check it thoroughly
 then."
  
 "It'll heal," I dismissed it.  The look on his face
 said he thought 
 otherwise.  Then my stomach growled rather loudly. 
 I gave a sheepish grin.  
 "Where's the closest place to find solid food around
 here?" I asked.
  
 "Kylie has a kitchenette in her room, next door. 
 I'm sure she wouldn't mind 
 sharing with you, cherie," Asher told me.  "If you
 will forgive me, I need to 
 go find Nathaniel.  He had been my usual pomme de
 sang here before Anita 
 acquired Jean-Claude's ardeur." 
  
 "Of course," I said.  "You're probably why I'm so
 hungry right now."  
 Actually, once I thought about it, I wasn't just
 hungry...I was *ravenous*.
  
 "That may be part of it," he smiled, "but you lost a
 great deal of blood last 
 night and expended a strong burst of power as well. 
 Was that how you were 
 able to escape?"
  
 "No, the attack came *after* I blasted him.  I
 didn't have enough juice left 
 by then to keep him off me.  I'd hate to think what
 kind of shape I'd be in 
 right now if Ramses hadn't come in when he did," I
 told him.  "He pulled 
 Jean-Claude off and managed to get him calmed down
 some."
  
 "Then it seems I am indebted to the magi," Asher
 said it as if it left a sour 
 taste in his mouth.  "Now if you will excuse me, I
 must go feed."  With that, 
 he left.  I watched after him, trying to figure out
 what had him so upset 
 about that.  I couldn't, so I gave up on it and went
 in search of something I 
 could eat. 
  
 The next set of rooms was just down the hall. 
 Thankfully, I didn't encounter 
 anyone on the short walk.  I was just about to knock
 when I heard voices 
 faintly from the other side of the door.  It sounded
 like two people, one 
 male one female, but they were speaking too low to
 make out what they were 
 talking about.  Only a couple of words got
 through...Council, and Tinkler.  
 The second meant nothing to me.  But I wondered if
 Ramses was tied to the 
 Council somehow.  If he was, then we were all in
 deep shit...especially after 
 last night's shenanigans.
  
 The longer I stood there, the greater the chance
 that someone, say 
 Jean-Claude for instance, would come along and find
 me lurking in the hall.  
 I *really* didn't want to see him again anytime
 soon.  I knocked on the door.
  
 My heart leapt to my throat when it was opened by
 Ramses.  I forgot for a 
 moment why I was there to begin with.  He just stood
 there holding the door 
 patiently being stoically gorgeous.  Finally, I
 found my voice.  "Um, may I 
 come in?"  It scared me that his presence had that
 effect on me.  I didn't  
 even *know* him for crying out loud!
  
 He moved aside and let me in.  I noticed a badge,
 handcuffs and a holstered 
 gun on his belt as I passed him.  A vampire with a
 gun?  That was a new one 
 on me.  The badge gave me pause to think, too. 
 'What branch of law 
 enforcement would allow a master vampire in their
 ranks,' I wondered.  I 
 didn't even blink at the handcuffs.  They either
 went with the badge or it 
 was something I didn't want to know about.
  
 His hair was pulled back revealing his strong
 features.  His skin was more 
 the color of rich cream than the pale alabaster of
 Asher's.  The color in his 
 full, slightly pouting lips said to me that he had
 already fed tonight.  The 
 beard and mustache were neatly trimmed and framed
 his mouth beautifully.  His 
 dark chocolate eyes held a repressed mirth that
 belied his serious 
 expression.  
  
 I finally tore my gaze away from that vision of
 manly loveliness and spotted 
 the room's other occupant over by the bed.  Kylie
 Everett, the young woman my 
 master seemed to be besotted of.  She had some sort
 of bandages on her neck 
 and arm.  Funny, I didn't remember seeing any wounds
 on her arm last night.
  
 They were both looking at me expectantly.  I guessed
 I'd better get on with 
 the introductions.  "I'm sorry, we didn't get to be
 properly introduced last 
 night," I said.  "I'm Tamara Lowery."  I offered my
 hand.  She took it in a 
 firm handshake.
     
 "I've heard a bit about you, Mrs. Lowery," she
 smiled.  "I'm Kylie Everett 
 and this is my partner Ramses."  He shook my hand as
 well, holding it no 
 longer than was polite.  I was both grateful and
 disappointed for that.
  
 I caught the scent of coffee and my stomach growled
 its complaint.  "Excuse 
 me," I blushed.  "It's just that Asher doesn't have
 anything *solid* to eat 
 in his room...is that French vanilla?"
  
 Kylie laughed, "That sounds about like him.  If he
 doesn't want or need it 
 personally, he doesn't think to provide it for
 others.  Yeah, it's that 
 girly-girl French vanilla...Anita never has cared
 for it, but I like it.  
 Help yourself, there's a little over half a pot
 left.  There should be 
 something in the fridge as well, if you're hungry."
  
 "I like it, too.  She doesn't know what she's
 missing.  Thank you," I said.  
 Ugh!  I felt like such a mooch.  I went into the
 little kitchenette, found a 
 cup in one of the cabinets, and poured some coffee. 
 Cradling the cup and 
 sipping judiciously, I walked back towards my hosts.
  "Ramses, thank you for 
 your help last night.  I'd hate to think what kind
 of shape I'd be in right 
 now if you hadn't walked in when you did," I told
 him.  "I am in your debt, 
 as is Asher.  Something he doesn't seem to happy
 about for some reason."
  
 "You are welcome, Mrs. Lowery," he nodded
 graciously.
  
 "Please, you can call me Tamara or Tammy," I
 corrected him.  "You saved my 
 life, I think we can skip formalities for now."
  
 Kylie spoke up again, "Ramses said something about
 having to pull JC off of 
 you.  What happened?"  I gave her a brief run down
 of being mad at Asher and 
 going to the Turkish bath to soak, relax and regroup
 my thoughts.  Then, how 
 Jean-Claude had joined me in the bath.
  
 "He's *never* acted like that around me before," I
 stated.  "It was like he 
 couldn't make up his mind whether to rape me or
 drain me.  I felt like that 
 poor cat in those Pepe Le Pew cartoons." 
 
 Kylie snickered at that remark.  "I've watched Pepe
 on the cartoon channel 
 with Cody from time to time.  Gotta admit, I'd never
 thought of JC in that 
 role until now," she laughed.  "Now I'll never be
 able to look at them the 
 same anymore."
 
 "Yeah," I giggled.  "All it needed was for him to be
 singing Tiptoe Through 
 the Tulips with that French accent to complete the
 picture," I added.  I 
 nearly choked trying to swallow coffee and stifle a
 laugh as the image of 
 Jean-Claude traipsing merrily along in a field of
 flowers, singing ran 
 through my mind. 
 
 The image even got Asher's attention, making him
 chuckle wherever he was at 
 for his feeding.  I heard Kylie's laughter and a
 mental echo of female 
 laughter at the same time.  Asher had shared the
 image with Jules and Kylie, 
 it seemed.
  
 I finally had to laugh aloud.  "Oh that is
 just...*wrong*!" I giggled.
  
 Ramses just shook his head like a long-suffering
 parent.  "How bad were you 
 bitten, Tamara?" he asked.
  
 I pulled my hair back from my neck.  The beadwork on
 the collar of my sweater 
 was heavy enough that the cowl neck left almost my
 entire throat exposed.  
 "I'd say he left a lasting impression," I quipped.
 
 "My God!" Kylie exclaimed when she saw the gashes on
 my neck.  "Jean-Claude 
 did THAT?"  She and Ramses exchanged a look.  I
 wasn't sure what it meant, 
 but it worried me for some reason.
  
 "Well, the worst of the damage was done when he was
 pulled off of me.  Sort 
 of like how you get scratched worse by jerking away
 from the cat that has 
 it's claws in you than if you take the time to
 detach yourself gingerly," I 
 explained.  "Jean-Claude didn't want to let go."
 
 Ramses reached out and grasped my chin, turning my
 head to the side for a 
 better look.  "The wound appears to be festering or
 infected," he observed.
 
 "That can't be right," I protested.  "Jean-Claude is
 of Belle Morte's line 
 not Morte d'Amour."  I thought human servants
 weren't supposed to *get* 
 infections.
 
 "Why don't you take her in the bathroom and fix her
 up, Tut?" Kylie 
 suggested.  "We can start a new trend to counteract
 the French perfume 
 industry."  Was it just me, or was her smile just a
 little malicious?  Ramses 
 steered me towards the bathroom with a hand at my
 back.  Damn sweater just 
 *had* to be in the way.  "I think I'll peek in on
 Dr. Onslow and see how 
 she's doing while you two are in there," she called
 after us as Ramses shut 
 the door behind us.
 
 Eep!  I was alone in a small room with a *very*
 gorgeous vampire.  I was 
 feeling a bit tingly just from the thought of him
 touching me.  "I must 
 prepare a fresh poultice," he said and turned his
 back to me, pulling some 
 items from a bag that hung around his neck.  The
 play of his shoulder muscles 
 under his tunic as he mixed and prepared whatever it
 was he was making 
 was...distracting.
 
 What was wrong with me?  I was never like this
 before.  Sure, I enjoyed 
 looking at and admiring handsome men, but never had
 I had such an urge to 
 just jump a relative stranger.  My hands ached with
 the desire to touch his 
 skin.  I stuffed them into my jeans pockets to keep
 them out of trouble.  I 
 needed to get this straightened out...NOW.  It
 helped that his back was to 
 me.  To have had his lovely chocolate gaze on me
 right then would have sent 
 me into meltdown.
 
 "I think I owe you an apology," I began.
 
 "Oh?"
 
 "Yes, my behavior towards you has been totally
 uncalled for," I continued.  
 "You've been nothing but polite, and I've been like
 a bitch in heat every 
 time I've been near you.  It was not my intentions
 to offend you.  I'm not 
 normally *like* that.  But, I find you unbearably
 attractive.  I'm sorry, I 
 can't seem to help myself."
 
 He answered without turning around.  "There is no
 need for you to apologize, 
 Tamara," I could hear the smile in his voice.  "I am
 flattered that you find 
 me so, and appreciate your honesty about your
 discomfort.  An honest woman is 
 as beautiful and refreshing as a desert oasis."  He
 continued working on his 
 concoction.
 
 My curiosity finally got the better of me.  I wanted
 to know just exactly 
 what was going into the "poultice."  I moved up
 closer to him, wanting to 
 peek around and watch.  As close as I was, I was
 very aware of his scent 
 suddenly.  Once again I was reminded of warm desert
 sands beneath a canopy of 
 stars.  I had an overwhelming desire to pull his
 tunic free of his belt and 
 run my hands over the smooth skin beneath it.  I had
 actually gotten my hands 
 out of my pockets and was reaching for his waist,
 when he turned around with 
 a handful of the most godawful smelling stuff I'd
 ever encountered.
  
 "Phuehgh!!  What *died*?!" I wrinkled my nose at the
 mess in his hand.  His 
 eyes danced with laughter.
 
 He reached towards me with the stuff, and I hopped
 back a couple of steps.  I 
 shook my head.  I did *not* want to smell that stuff
 all night or however 
 long I was supposed to wear it.  "It will help the
 bite heal," Ramses said 
 patiently, still smiling.  "Left untreated, it will
 continue to fester and 
 may lead to blood poisoning."
 
 "It stinks!" I protested.
 
 "I know," he said gently.  His empty hand was
 suddenly touching my cheek 
 tenderly.  He brushed the hair back from my face,
 tucking it behind my ear.  
 Then his fingers traced lightly down my jaw to my
 chin, lifting it slightly.  
 My eyes met his and I was lost.  He gave me a
 comforting smile and leaned in. 
 I felt something cool and moist smoothed on my
 neck.  I was assaulted by 
 that horrible stench as he released me and
 straightened.
 
 I gave him a mock glare.  "That was a dirty trick!"
 I accused.
 
 Ramses gave a shallow bow and said, "I do what I
 must."
 
 "I'll try to keep that in mind," I retorted.  "Gah! 
 Talk about an appetite 
 suppressant!"  A wicked thought occurred to me,
 making me smile a tight little 
 grin.  "Reckon this stuff's any good at repelling
 rabid Frenchmen?"
 
 "Perhaps," he laughed.  "I have never used it as
 such.  But it might."
 
 "I shouldn't complain so much then.  If it works, I
 may want to lay in a 
 supply of the stuff," I joked.  "And now that I'm
 starting to get a little 
 used to it, the smells not so much worse than the
 stuff my Pappaw used to use 
 for poison ivy rash."
 
 "Oh really?  What was that?" Ramses asked, genuinely
 interested.
 
 "He'd chop up a certain wild green very fine and mix
 it with water into a 
 paste.  The plant he used, he called plantain, but
 I've also heard it called 
 rabbit lettuce.  It's a fairly common yard weed
 throughout the South.  I 
 don't know what the real name of it is, but I'd
 recognize it on sight.  Never 
 had to use the stuff myself...I was fairly immune to
 poison ivy and poison 
 oak, but a friend of mine would get it every now and
 then.  She used his 
 concoction and it'd stop the itching and clear up
 the rash a lot faster than 
 calamine lotion would," I told him.
 
 "If the opportunity arises, perhaps you could point
 out this plant to me," 
 Ramses said.  "I am always interested to learn the
 medicinal uses of native 
 herbs."
 
 "If I spot any around here, I'll let you know," I
 smiled.  "Too bad it's 
 winter now, or I'd suggest a foray to find some
 tonight."  I just had to 
 flirt a little.  I was rewarded with warm laughter.
 
 "It is just as well that it is winter," he replied. 
 "Kylie and I have 
 important business that we must attend to tonight. 
 And I imagine you will 
 want to check in on the young lycanthrope that came
 with you."  I hadn't even 
 thought about Tim...or Kimmy when I got up.
 
 My face grew serious.  The way Jean-Claude was
 behaving, I was starting to 
 wish that we hadn't brought her with us.  I knew
 that she was willing, but I 
 was afraid to offer her up to him to serve his
 ardeur.  I was afraid that he 
 might lose control with her.  I just wondered if I
 would be able to convince 
 her of the danger.
 
 "Yeah, I need to check on him and to pick up Kimmy
 and bring her back.  She 
 can't stay at the clinic with him indefinitely.  I
 just wonder how long 
 she'll let me keep her out of Jean-Claude's path," I
 said.  "I also need to 
 call my husband or he'll start worrying."
 
 "You may use Kylie's computer to e-mail him if you
 wish," Ramses suggested.
 
 "Thank you for the offer, but his probation hasn't
 been lifted yet, and one 
 of the stipulations of it is no Internet access," I
 stated.  "I'll just call 
 him on my cell phone."
 
 "Probation?" he asked.  I was suddenly reminded that
 this vampire wore a 
 badge.  I had developed a tendency to get defensive
 around cops.  Still, I 
 didn't feel that Ramses would try to make trouble
 for Derik.  He had no 
 reason to.
 
 I sighed.  "Yeah, he had an affair with a
 seventeen-year-old, completely 
 consensual mind you.  But her mother and the State
 of Florida weren't as 
 forgiving as I was."  He didn't press me for more
 information, for which I 
 was grateful.  The pain of that betrayal was long
 dead.  Derik and I had 
 reconciled before the whole mess ever went to court.
 But I was tired of 
 constantly feeling like I had to explain or justify
 why I was still with him. 
 "I need to get that stuff taken care of.  Thanks
 for the smelly stuff...I 
 hope it works," I said, trying to lighten the mood
 back up.
 
 "You are welcome, Tamara," Ramses replied.  "I must
 collect Kylie if we are 
 not to be late for our appointment."  He walked me to
 the door and headed off 
 further down the hall to where it intersected with
 another passage.  
 
 I was almost back to the door of Asher's room when I
 was stopped by 
 Jean-Claude's voice.  "Good evening, cherie."  I
 froze where I was, afraid to 
 turn around. 
 
 "Hello, Jean-Claude.  I was just on my way to call
 and check in with my 
 husband then go pick up Kimmy and Tim," I said.  At
 least my voice came out 
 sounding normal.
 
 Jean-Claude's voice was like silk, wrapping around
 me, caressing my skin, and 
 heating my blood like good brandy.  "Surely that can
 wait, amante de moi."  
 He was standing beside me.  He trailed his hand down
 the arm of my sweater 
 and back up again, giving me a seductive pout.  "I
 was hoping that we could 
 resume our conversation that was so rudely
 interrupted last night," he 
 purred. "You shouldn't have run away like that ma
 fleur," he kept up with the 
 voice.  "I can see how you lust after the magi.  If
 you had only stayed a 
 little longer, together we could have seduced him,
 and you could have enjoyed 
 us both."  He was stroking my face much like Ramses
 had done earlier.
 
 I gulped.  "I *really* need to do those things
 *now*, Jean-Claude," I tried 
 not to stammer.  My heart was racing, torn between
 ardeur-induced desire and 
 terror.  "I don't want any of them to get to
 worrying."  I had backed up 
 against the stone of the wall.
 
 He placed a hand on the wall on either side of my
 head.  "Then you should at 
 least take an escort with you, cherie," he smiled. 
 I hoped to God he wasn't 
 suggesting that HE go with me.  Kimmy wouldn't stand
 a chance.
 
 "I was planning on asking either Jason, Nathaniel or
 Stephen to show me how 
 to get to the clinic," I stalled.
 
 "Oh, that's too bad," he tsked.  "Nathaniel and
 Stephen have already gone to 
 work...and Jason is currently...indisposed."  He
 started to lean in to me 
 presumably for a kiss.  "But I would be more than
 happy to...MERDE!  What IS 
 that *stench*?"
 He recoiled with a snarl.  The effects of the ardeur
 vanished like a switch 
 had been thrown.
 
 With the ardeur gone, I could breathe again.  "I thought I'd give 
 some of Ramses' *snake* bite cure a try," I grinned
 maliciously.
 
 Jean-Claude's face reverted to his amused-mask. 
 "Touche`, madame.  I will 
 send Damien to escort you wherever you wish."  He
 gave a courtly bow, taking 
 my hand and drawing it to his lips.  His eyes rolled
 up to meet mine.  "Until 
 we meet again."  He brushed his lips across my
 knuckles before turning my 
 hand over and flicking my wrist with his tongue.  A
 mild jolt shot through me 
 at that, and he left me with a dark chuckle.  I
 hurried into the room 
 shutting and leaning back against the door waiting
 for my pulse to calm.  
 Asher was nowhere to be seen, so I walked over to
 the luggage and started 
 digging for my phone.


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