I woke up around 11 that morning with Asher's body curled around and 
entangled with mine.  I hadn't even felt him crawl into bed.  He 
must've come back to the room *very* shortly before sunrise.  His 
body was sticky with various fluids and substances.  He was usually 
more fastidious than that when turning in for the day.  

I managed to disengage my legs from his and slip out of bed.  I 
grimaced as my gown dropped into place and brushed my thighs.  It was 
damp from where he'd snuggled up against me.  A cursory inspection of 
the bed linens only revealed a couple of small spots that would be 
dry by afternoon.  I left them pulled back from his body for the 
moment.

I stripped off the soiled gown and snagged clean clothes from my 
suitcase...a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt...the green one with 
seashells printed on it.  Then I went into the bathroom for a quick 
shower and to get dressed.  The sweater from last night hung over the 
shower rod, still damp.  I pulled it down and draped it on the towel 
rack, folding the towel on top of the clean clothes on the toilet 
seat lid.  At least the blood stains from Asher's crying had rinsed 
out good.  I got the water running at a comfortable temperature, 
pinned up my hair, and stepped into the shower.  A washcloth 
made quick work of the sticky patches where the gown had soaked 
through or ridden up.  I dressed, brushed my teeth, then combed the 
tangles out of my hair and secured it back in a loose braid.

I took a fresh washcloth and towel into the bedroom and cleaned Asher 
up before tucking him back in.  Brushing a strand of silken hair from 
his face, I kissed his cold cheek.  "Rest well, mon cher.  I'll be 
back here when you rise," I whispered, even though I knew he couldn't 
hear me.  Then I went off in search of Kimmy and coffee.

Kimmy and Tim were already in the hall headed my way.  Tim had a mug 
of coffee and a book he was carrying for Kimmy.  She had her hands 
full with her own cup and a second one, which she handed to me when I 
reached them.  "Thought you might like a cinnamon spice espresso," 
she smiled.  "Thanks!  You read my mind," I grinned back, taking the 
mug from her.  It was one of my favorite flavors.  

"What're *you* up to?" I asked.  She took the book from Tim and held 
it up.  It was "A Wish for Wings That Work" by Berke 
breathed.  "Well, I've heard that people in comas can still *hear* 
you when you talk to them.  And Anita likes penguins...so I thought 
I'd read her a story about Opus.  Maybe it'll help her," she 
explained.  "It's worth a shot anyway," I said.  "Anita's room 
is this way."

As we passed Kylie's door, I saw a note tacked to it.  It said that 
Kylie and Jason had gone up to the roof for some sun and coffee.  It 
also gave directions to the roof access.  "You two go on," I motioned 
to my friend and her bear.  "I need to talk to Ms. Everett about last 
night.  I'll be on the roof if you need me."  I handed her the note 
so she could find her way up if needs be then headed off to find the 
stairs.

My coffee was empty before I was halfway up the spiral stairwell.  
This was worse than climbing Ponce Inlet Lighthouse...no windows and 
no landings to rest at...and well over the two hundred plus stairs 
the lighthouse sported.  Well, correct that.  There *was* one 
landing...only one...with a locked door that I assumed was at ground 
level.  It was still the equivalent of about three stories further to 
the roof.  The aboveground portion of the Circus had to be large 
enough to accommodate the big top and midway after all.

Finally stepping out onto the roof, I had to close my eyes against 
the sudden brightness.  Wish I'd thought to bring some sunglasses 
with me, but I hadn't anticipated being outside much during the day 
on this trip.  I gradually opened my eyes and let them adjust.  I was 
impressed with the well manicured garden before me.  I heard crashes 
in the bushes off to one side, then a squeal and low voices.

I stepped around a hedge just in time to see Ms. Everett and Jason 
wrassling like a couple of pups.  She had just shoved her hands down 
his pants.  He bucked her off, and she rolled to the side in the 
grass as she landed, laughing fit to burst.  "Damn girl.  You got 
cold hands," he complained, eyes wide with shock.  I had to smile.  
It was funny to see someone turn the tables on the little smart aleck.

I cleared my throat, drawing their attention.  "Um, am I interrupting 
something?  I can come back later," I offered. "That's OK," Kylie 
said as her laugh eased back to light giggles, "I think you're the 
Belle I'm being saved by." Jason howled at the bad pun.  I grinned.  
She picked herself up, brushing off a few blades of grass, and 
grasped Jason's wrist to help lever him up.  "I saw the note and 
figured I'd come on up," I said.  "I was gonna just bug Kimmy for 
some coffee, but I *did* want to talk to you today...without 
interruptions from a certain someone."  I didn't want to say 
Asher's name.  I wasn't sure if it would upset her or not.

"Oh...I see," she replied and shot Jason a look.  "Well, I figured 
this would be an ideal time since he's down for the day and probably 
won't rise until mid afternoon at the earliest," I explained.  "For 
what it's worth, I'm sorry that he handled things the way he did.  It 
was inexcusable behavior.  I was gonna ream his ass about that last 
night, but I kinda got beaten to it."  I glanced down, rubbing the 
back of my neck.  I raised my eyes back up to her hesitantly.  "Jules 
kind of scared me with her performance," I admitted.  "That makes two 
of us," Kylie stated. That was a surprise.  "Oh?" my eyebrows raised.

Jason looked a little uncomfortable all of a sudden.  "Um, maybe I 
should leave you two alone," he said.  She smiled and nodded at him.  
He brushed her cheek with a quick kiss before heading for the 
stairs.  "He didn't have to leave on account of me," I apologized.  
Still gazing after the departing werewolf, Kylie said, "It's OK...he 
probably smells a girl talk coming on."  Men...go figure.  Pointing 
at my empty cup, she grinned, "Need a refill?"  I returned it with a 
lopsided smile of my own.  "Sure, thanks."

"So...you weren't expecting that either?" I asked, following her as 
she walked towards a central table.  There was a coffee maker on a 
nearby serving cart.  A bench held a closed laptop and computer 
bag.  "No," she answered back over her shoulder.  "It was a complete 
surprise to me too."  I nodded to myself, filing that away.  So Jules 
apparently wasn't in constant communication with her host.  That had 
to be scary to be carrying around something that could just take you 
over like that.  I flashed back on Asher "holding" me during that 
incident in Savannah and gave a slight shudder.  It hadn't been a 
pleasant experience.

"Gotta admit," I stated, "she was pretty impressive.  Made me think 
of an avenging goddess or some such...terrible to behold and all 
that."  I cringed mentally at the nervous note in my voice.  Kylie 
nodded and poured us each a cup of coffee.  "Um, are you gonna be all 
right?" I asked, sipping at my coffee and sitting on an open bench.  
She sat down next to the laptop on the other bench not saying 
anything.  I continued gently, "I caught the echo of how much that 
hurt Asher...I *know* it couldn't have been too pleasant for you 
either."  

"No...it wasn't," was her soft, terse reply.  She focused on some 
point in the gravel, her statement pained.  "If you'd rather not talk 
about it...," I backed off.  I didn't want to push her.

After a short awkward silence, she glanced back up at me.  "Um...was 
there something you needed?" she began.  "You said you didn't want 
Asher to know you were here?"  She seemed puzzled.  I took a breath 
before explaining, hoping that I didn't piss her off with what I was 
about to say.  "No I don't," my voice came out sounding 
firm.  "Because right now he'd probably have me begging Jules to 
forgive him and accept him back...I hate coming across as jealous or 
selfish, but I have to agree with Ramses on this...painful as it was, 
it NEEDED to be done.  Asher is a greedy thing and rather selfish.  
And I know from personal experience that he doesn't always 
consider the consequences his actions will have on others until it's 
too late."  Sometimes I wondered if men *ever* grew up.  I felt a 
little better after airing a bit of my irritation with my master.

Kylie seemed to accept the explanation.  She pursed her lips, "So why 
are you here then if it's not on his behalf?"  I wasn't sure if she 
was getting irritated at me or not.  I was definitely feeling 
awkward.  "Well, part of it was to kind of test the waters," I told 
her.  "I wanted to find out if our presence here was going to be too 
uncomfortable, if maybe I should try to get Asher to remove to other 
accommodations or something.  He did pack his travel coffin, but it's 
still on his plane."  I waited to see what she would do with 
the offer.  She thought about it for a bit before shaking her 
head, "No...he needs to stay...things are still precarious with 
JC...if push comes to shove...he may need to take JC's place."

I sat there stunned for a moment.  Asher replace Jean-Claude as 
Master of St. Louis?  I didn't think he'd like to hear *that*.  Plus 
all the troubles that would come of it.  How could he hold both St. 
Louis AND Orlando?  You simply don't spread yourself that thin and 
expect to survive for long.  Plus, I'd have to stay with Asher to 
back him up.  And Derik still couldn't leave Florida.  This was *not* 
good at all.  "I pray it doesn't come to that," I said.  "He'd need 
me to stay here with him, and that really wouldn't sit well with 
Derik.  *That* would impair my ability to help him when and where 
he'd need it."

Kylie didn't look too happy with the possibility 
either.  "Yeah...well I hope it doesn't come to that either."  She 
seemed distracted or lost in thought.  I made a guess as to what was 
bothering her.  "You're worried about Anita aren't you?"  She nodded, 
confirming my guess, "Yeah...."  

I sighed.  I hated to bring up unpleasant memories, but if she 
thought of the events of the night before last the same way I 
did...what I *knew* of them anyway...then I might be able to offer 
her some understanding and maybe even comfort.

"That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about," I 
started.  "What all was going on that night?  I saw what Richard did 
to your top.  Do you want to talk about what happened?  I know I 
sound nosy, but I've got a good reason for asking you this."  Kylie 
clutched at her chest at the mention of Richard's name.  I don't 
think she realized she had.  Already she was confirming my suspicions 
that she viewed it as something akin to rape.  "Well," she began, 
then hesitated before continuing.  "We were trying to invoke the 
Triumverate's power to release her using me as a substitute...Jean-
Claude seemed to think if we could break down her shields, 
she'd be free...now we know it was more involved than that."

'I'll just *bet*,' I thought.  I nodded encouragingly and took 
another sip of coffee.  I had to let this flow from her at her pace.  
If I tried to push, she might just dam it up inside herself.  I knew, 
from talking with Asher, a little bit about how the St. Louis 
Triumverate worked...basically, sex, anger and blood were needed for 
the power to be it's most potent.  I was starting to get a clearer 
picture of what Kylie must've found herself trapped into doing, and I 
bet Jean-Claude hadn't warned her beforehand.  He always *had* been 
sneaky like that.

Kylie chose to pursue Anita's problem rather than discuss the details 
of the attempt to bring her back.  "She has a...a 'rip' in her 
psyche," she struggled for the right words to describe whatever it 
was that was holding Anita under, "that is slowly absorbing her 
entire presence.  If we don't find a cure soon...well...you see the 
effect it's having in JC."  My own hand went to the now vanished 
wound at my throat before I realized it.  I didn't know if she caught 
the motion or not.  "Can it be mended?" I asked.

"Well,...something Ash said to me once made me think maybe...but the 
way things are going now...," she trailed off.  I wondered briefly 
*when* and under what circumstances Asher had spoken with her about 
this.  I shoved aside the twinge of jealousy and suspicion.  Had to 
stick to business.  The other could wait.  "What did he tell you?" I 
prodded.  "We're running out of time," she stated.  "It wasn't so 
much something he said...as something I saw."  My curiosity 
peaked, "What?"  Kylie looked me right in the eye, like she knew what 
she was about to say might hurt me.  "I saw a 'rip' in him 
too," she told me.  "But it had been mended by people in his 
life...people who genuinely *care* for him."

"These 'rips'," I asked, "any idea of what caused them?"  Bluntly, 
she stated, "Trauma.  For Ash...Julianna's death."

'Dear God!  What must last night have done to him when she cut him 
off like that...or to *her* for that matter?' I thought in 
horror.  "And for Anita?" I inquired.  "Richard trying to tear away 
from the Tri," she answered.  I was puzzled.  "The only way for him 
to do that would be to...."  Then realization hit.  "He tried to 
*kill* himself?  Is *that* it?"  Kylie nodded.  "Tried to 
protect her by raising shields," she explained.  "But he was caught 
in the act by Dr. Onslow."

"Is that the 'Carrie' that he mentioned checking on and that Jean-
Claude identified as his girlfriend?" I tried to find a connection 
for the unfamiliar name.  "Yes," Kylie replied.  "Anyway Anita tried 
to stop him by using the Triumverate magic and he apparently threw it 
back at her...causing massive psychic trauma," she continued her 
narrative.  "She can be mended by people who care about her...and 
there are plenty around...the catch is...how to reach her?"

I was getting perturbed with Dick all over again.  "That is one sick 
puppy," I muttered under my breath.  "And he had the *gall* to look 
at me like I was some whore for giving in to Asher's advances...after 
resisting him for *months*.," I glared into the distance.  Kylie 
reached across the table and took my hand.  "It doesn't have anything 
to do with piousness," she soothed.  "He just sees another person 
being dragged down into the hell he lives in...with no way out."

'Hell?' I thought, 'man, Richard really *is* messed up.'  I raised my 
eyebrows.  "Granted it's not exactly a bed of roses...there seem to 
be more thorns...but I wouldn't go so far as to call it 'hell.'  Was 
that his justification for trying what he did?"  I stood and went to 
the serving cart to refill my cup.  I held the pot out to Kylie 
questioningly, but she shook her head no.  I set it back on the 
warmer and sat back down.

"Don't know about you, but I consider suicide the coward's way out," 
I offered my opinion.  "Not to mention, it's like saying God doesn't 
know what He's doing, and that you don't trust Him to give you the 
tools you need to see you through things."  I added a spoon of sugar 
to my coffee and stirred it.  "You know...I mentioned that to him 
last night, and he gave me this look like he's never even thought of 
that before," Kylie commented.  "He's so used to seeing this 
lifestyle as a 'hell' that it hasn't dawned on him that God just 
might have a purpose for him being here.  Now mind you, I don't know 
if he's actually going to *do* anything about that, but at least he 
looked like he might ponder it for a while."

"Well, that's a start at least," I sighed.  "Maybe there's hope for 
the boy yet."  Kylie quirked an eyebrow at the "boy" comment, but I 
figured, hey, I've got nearly a decade on the Ulfric...I could call 
him a boy if I wanted to.  I sipped my coffee then moved on to 
another problem.  "I may still see about getting Kimmy to get a hotel 
room instead of staying here at the Circus.  I'd feel better if she'd 
agree to go back to Florida, but I know she won't.  She's completely 
infatuated with Jean-Claude.  The bad thing is, she won't be safe 
anywhere in St. Louis if he can't pull it together.  She's served as 
his Pomme de Sang before when he's visited Orlando.  He could call 
her at any time and she'd be powerless to resist him even if she 
wanted to.  You *saw* how she was last night," I grimaced.  I really 
was worried for her safety.

Kylie nodded.  "Yes, I saw," she said.  "It's actually all the more 
reason she stay close to Asher.  Ultimately, she is *his* 
responsibility while she is here...and she actually *can* help with 
the ardeur if she doesn't mind Asher being present while she sustains 
JC."  I wondered what Kimmy would make of *that* suggestion.  Kylie 
gazed off into the distance thinking.  "Oddly enough, the sustenance 
JC got from Asher last night seemed to help Anita too. Micah said she 
seemed to improve a bit last night, almost like she was gonna come 
out of it...but then sank back down just as quickly."  She chewed on 
her fingernail.  "Happened the night before too...but why?" she 
muttered.

'Feeding Jean-Claude's ardeur helped Anita too?  I wonder..,' I 
thought to myself.  Out loud, I said, "I *may* have an idea about 
that, but I'll need to check on something first...."  Suddenly, an 
electronic rendition of Beethoven's "Fur Elise" started emanating 
from the vicinity of my waist.  It was my cell phone.  "Hold on a 
minute," I told her as I unclipped the gadget from my waistband.  

"Hello?...Hey baby!...Yeah, I've been up for around an hour...what's 
up?...Uh huh...Oh yeah?  What did he say?...OK, I'll pass that 
along.  Thanks for letting me know.  You be careful, I don't trust 
him...I will be...I love you too, small bear.  Talk to you later."  I 
hung up the phone.  "Shitshitshit!" I was pissed at Asher.  "He 
*said* he was gonna get word to him that we had to leave on an 
emergency!  The *last* thing Asher needs is for him to show up 
*here*...especially with what all's been going on!  Damn!" I ranted.  
Kylie looked at me with eyebrows raised in befuddlement, "Who?"

"That was my husband, Derik on the phone," I explained.  "Seems they 
had a visitor looking for Asher last night.  A vamp Derik and I ran 
into in Georgia on a visit to family.  His name's Vladimir.  One of 
Belle's 'boys'...claims to be a Council rep.  Seems Belle's taken an 
interest in the fact that Asher's taken a new servant.  We knew he 
was going to be paying us a visit, but not this soon.  And Ash said 
he'd get word to him that we'd been called away to tend to something 
unavoidable and postpone the meeting.  Vlad's not a master vamp, 
either, according to Asher...just one of Belle's errand boys."  
I didn't mention that Asher had killed Vlad's brother Gunthor while 
rescuing me from him.  Gunthor *had* been a master, challenging Asher 
for Orlando...against Council edict of no duels in the 
States...although *he'd* been of the Queen of Nightmare's line rather 
than Belle's, like Vlad was.

"Does he know that you and Ash are here?" Kylie sounded worried.  She 
had a look on her face that said "what *else* can go wrong."  I knew 
I must've had a similar statement on *my* face.  "He does NOW," I 
answered, standing and beginning to pace.  "It wouldn't have been a 
very wise move for Derik to have tried lying to him.  As far as we 
know he really *is* a Council rep.  Not someone you'd want pissed at 
ya.  I *would* have to find out about this when Asher's out of it.  
Vlad could be here as early as tonight."

Kylie was downright exasperated," Oh, well that's just FABULOUS!  
Musette due to arrive any day now.  Tinkler roaming around somewhere 
wreaking havoc.  JC and Anita down for the count.  Let's just add 
another obstacle to the mix."  She leaned on her elbows on the table, 
holding her forehead.  "Who's Tinkler?" I asked, sitting back down.  
If we were in deep shit, might as well get all the details I could.

She lifted her head from her hands and scrutinized me closely, as if 
she wasn't sure if she could trust me.  Finally, she said, "The case 
Ramses and I have been working on are homicides.  Two of them so 
far.  And Ramses believes that the clues of the crime scenes coupled 
with evidence he picked up off an incoming ship connect 'Tinkler' 
with the murders.  Tinkler is apparently also a vampire of 
distinctive reputation from the Council's court.  A Draconian by 
nature.  A very cunning, very nasty one.  Ramses seems to think Dr. 
Onslow's preserve is the perfect place to hide for such a 
creature ."  She looked away.  "We're going on the hunt tonight," she 
added softly.

"Sounds like fun," I said sarcastically.  "You taking any back up?"  
I hoped to God they weren't planning on inviting the *human* 
authorities in on this hunt...especially if the dragon or vampire or 
whatever it was turned out to be as nasty as they thought.  Kylie 
gave me a saccharine smile.  "Glad you think so, because doubtless 
Ash will want to help 'protect' JC's interests," she smirked.  "Oh 
joy," I oozed.  "Indeed," she commiserated.

My body stiffened in shock at an unexpected presence in my mind.  My 
surprise must have shown on my face.  "You OK?" Kylie asked 
perplexedly.  "Asher?" I puzzled.  She raised an eyebrow at that.  
Quickly, I raised my shields so he wouldn't see who I was with.  I 
looked at her, stunned.  "He's *never* risen this early before!" I 
exclaimed.  "I've got to go before he blasts my shields trying to 
find me.  He's in a panic over something!"  Kylie stood, a look of 
worry on her face.  "Uh oh...I think we'd better go see why," she 
said as she drew her gun.

From the stairwell we heard a voice shouting, "Tamara!  Ma rose 
d'acier!  Where are you?!"  Kylie's eyes widened as she squeaked, "He 
can't come *up* here...he'll be fried...is he crazy?"  I ran to the 
stairs, stepped inside and started down the stairs, Kylie close on my 
heels.  "I'm coming Asher!" I called back, both aloud and through the 
marks.  "Stay where you are!  It's still daylight!"  Kylie followed 
down a few steps, then stopped motioning me onward.  Guess she didn't 
want Asher to see her.  Again his voice boomed up the stairwell 
piteously urgent, "TAMARA!  Where *are* you?!"

I reached him at the ground floor landing, slightly out of 
breath.  "I'm right here, mon cher.  I'm right here.  What's wrong?"  
He crushed me to him as I finished lowering my shields.  I could 
sense horror and relief warring in him.  "Oh ma rose d'acier, when I 
woke and you were not there...I thought you had abandoned me," he 
sobbed.  "Please don't ever frighten me like that again."  The bloody 
*idiot*!  "Asher ease up, please," I wheezed.  "I can't *breathe*."  
The pressure eased, and I no longer felt like I was losing a 
wrestling match to a boa constrictor.  "You know I won't leave you, 
mon cher," I soothed him, hugging him back and resting my cheek on 
his chest.  "I honestly didn't expect you to be up this early.  It's 
barely NOON for crying out loud!"

"Where were you?" he asked peevishly.  "I was up on the roof having 
some coffee and enjoying the garden," I answered.  Asher nuzzled my 
hair, then grew still, as only the dead can.  "I *thought* I smelled 
this last night when I returned to our room," his voice came cool and 
deadly soft.  "You smell of the magi.... Why?"  Uh oh.  "I stopped by 
Kylie's room to try to talk to her last night while you were with 
Jean-Claude," I replied.  "Ramses was guarding the door and wouldn't 
allow her to be disturbed."  There...the truth...just not the *whole* 
truth.  Unfortunately, I wasn't going to be able to get away with 
that.

Asher held me at arms length, looking hard at me.  "Non, it is more 
than that," he said.  "Unless you physically wrestled past him, you 
shouldn't smell that strongly of him."  I looked back at him with a 
blank face and said, "Nothing happened."  He narrowed his eyes.  "Do 
not lie to me ma rose d'acier," he warned.  "It was only a kiss," I 
muttered, unable to face my master.  "*What*?" he asked as if he 
couldn't have heard me correctly.  *That* pissed me off.  "He KISSED 
ME!" I hissed at him.  "Are you happy now?"  

From the top of the stairs I heard Kylie's voice ring out, "He 
WHAT?"  The sound of rapid footfalls came as she descended towards us.