Three Different Ways to Use Wulepa in a Sentence.
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Thank you for visiting this page!!!!! Here is my route, for my journey all around the land to visit the "World's Largest"
----DAY 1- I left promptly at 8:00 from Fairview High School. I drove my battered old Ford Windstar down Highway 93 to I-70 and started west. For lunch, I stopped in a tiny town called Green River, Utah and ate "Fish & Chips" at a dilapidated hut. I continued driving west to I-15, and started heading south on that going through such locales as Cedar City and Las Vegas. Right near the California border, I exited off the interstate and began heading into the Mojave Desert on a series of dirt roads. I stopped next to a dried up lake bed to spend the night in the luxury of my car.
----DAY 2- Somehow I made my way out of the confusing, winding roads of the desert onto a main highway again today. I stopped in Joshua Tree, California and saw the World's Largest Desert Tortoise. It was amazing. Anyway, I got onto I-10 and began heading west to Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, I arrived at Los Angeles International Airport, boarded a Qantas Airlines jet bound for Sydney, Australia.
-----DAY 3- I arrived in Sydney all right. I drove up the coast to Coffs Harbour to see the World's Largest Banana, and then I drove even furthur up to see the World's Largest Pineapple in Nambour. I returned to Sydney and boarded a jet back to LA.
-----DAY 4- I arrived back in Los Angeles, got in my Windstar and began heading up I-5 towards my next destination. Somewhere in the San Joaquin valley, I got off the interstate and headed to Kingsburg, California where I got to see the World's Largest Box of Raisins. I headed west on some small roads through the farming country, crossed over the coastal range mountains and arrived in Castroville, California where I got to see the World's Largest Artichoke. I spent the night here.
-----DAY 5- Headed north up the Pacific Coast Highway towards San Francisco, where I got back on I-5 and headed north through Oregon to my next destination- Mukilteo, Washington. Mukilteo is a small town north of Seattle and is home to the World's Largest Paper Airplane. I got back on I-5 and headed north, stopping in a small town near the Canadian Border to spend the night.
-----DAY 6- I drove today, up through British Columbia. I stopped to end the day in some indiscreet campground, where I was jumped by a rabbit with a crowbar. I awoke in the bathtub of a fat Bulgarian woman. Luckily for me, I was able to creep away and get back to my campsite.
----DAY 7- Today I got back in my car and drove some more. I ended up somewhere in Yukon Territory, which in my opinion looks the same as British Columbia. I ate half my body weight in Graham Crackers today. It was great fun.
-----DAY 8- I returned to the United States today!!!!! I drove some more and I ended up somewhere in Alaska, which in my opinion looks the same as Yukon Territory, which in my opinion looks the same as British Columbia. Go Figure
-----DAY 9- I only had a little farther to drive to reach, North Pole, Alaska where I saw the World's Largest Santa Claus. I also met Norma, a fat woman from Iowa who was looking for the Sahara Desert, and Igor, a marmoset with an addiction to cow intestines. I agreed to let Norma and Igor accompany me on my adventure. An ugly parakeet also snuck into my van, so he's along as well. I finished the day back in Yukon Territory, at some campground that looks quite familiar.
-----DAY 10- Today for some reason I kept going back and forth between Yukon Territory and British Columbia, which in my opinion look exactly the same. I ended up in British Columbia, however so I must be making some progress.
------DAY 11- I entered Alberta today!!!!!!! We had to stop for an hour in Edmonton because Norma had severe constipation and Igor had a cramp behind his eye, but we managed to go on and ended up a little over an hour away from the Montana border.
----DAY 12- Today we entered Northern Montana. Stopped in Cut Bank, to see the World's Largest Penguin. This was amazing as well. I also picked up Sally and Proallus, two foster children who had escaped from a pair of deranged donkey killers and were heading to their Uncle's house in Massachusetts. We continued on today, and ended up somewhere near the North Dakota border.
----DAY 13- The deranged donkey killers are following us!!!! They're driving an ugly puce colored Silverado and have been following us all day. I was not going to let this stop me, however from seeing the World's Largest Buffalo in Jamestown, North Dakota or the World's Largest Lutefisk in Madison, Minnesota. We stopped for the night at a pink bed and breakfast in a small Minnesota village. The donkey killers did too.....
-------DAY 14- I'm so happy!!! We lost the Donkey Killers today while we were visiting the World's Largest Viking in Alexandria, Minnesota!!!! We were soooo happy about this because we were able to visit even more sites today!!! We saw the World's Largest Turkey in Frazee, Minnesota; The World's Largest Walleye in Garrison, Minnesota; The World's Largest Polar Bear in White Bear Lake, Minnesota; The World's Largest Squirrel AND the World's Largest Badger in Birnamwood, Wisconsin; and my personal favorite, The World's Largest Talking Cow in Neillsville, Wisconsin. This is definetly a day to remember. Consumed 85 pounds of cheese today. We ended up somewhere in some smelly part of Wisconsin.
------DAY 15- Today I picked up a "Courage the Cowardly Dog" look alike as well as an aspiring Powerpuff Girl named Bonnie. All of the cheese I ate yesterday left me with horrible gas that killed several cows grazing near the road. Igor jumped out the window and began feasting on the cow intestines.Today I saw the World's Largest Strawberry in Strawberry Pointe, Iowa as well as the World's Largest Bull in Audubon, Iowa. We headed back east on I-80 and ended our day in Illinois. Norma left today, going back to her home. She forgot her Pith Helmet, but plans to start her expedition to the Sahara very soon.
-----DAY 16- Today was a very eventful day. It started off with a visit to the World's Largest Catsup Bottle in Collinsville, Illinois. Somewhere near Peoria, Illinois 89,000 crows pooped on my van. So much poop fell onto the roadway that a 1000 car pile up was the result. Luckily, we were just ahead of this and managed to make it to both the World's Largest baseball bat in Louisville, Kentucky and the World's Largest loaf of bread in Urbana, Ohio. We ended the day way up in Ontario, Canada. I was surprised to find Igor again waiting for us at the campsite. He had crawled to Des Moines and got on a flight to Detroit, from which it was a short bike ride to our location.
-----DAY 17 Today I picked up 8 third graders and 82 grasshoppers, all of whom were trying to get home to South Carolina. I let them all in. I also let in an obese and smelly termite named Boragi who was looking forward to going to Alabama to chew down the Governor's mansion. Today I saw the World's Largest Nickel in Sudbury, Ontario (it was a Canadian nickel) as well as the World's Largest Apple in Colborne, Ontario. We returned to the United States today, spending the night in a hospitable motel deep in New York's Adirondacks.
----Day 18- The donkey killers are after us again!!!! I don't know how, but they've caught up to us. I was so close to delivering Sally and Proallus safely to their Uncle's house, but instead was forced to make a detour to a very Cliff-infested area of Southern Vermont, where Bonnie was successfully able to push the donkey killer's Silverado off of a cliff. Sally and Proallus went home today, and their Uncle rewarded me with $5000 worth of Corn Syrup for delivering his niece and nephew safely back to him. In addition to this, we all visited the World's Largest Uncle Sam in Lake George, New York, the World's Largest Termite in Providence, Rhode Island. Boragi was very intimidated, and refused to come out of the car, even when I assured him it wasn't real. Boragi did get out of the car when we visited the World's Largest Elephant in Margate, New Jersey (Everyone knows elephants are afraid of termites.) We spent the night in a hotel in New Jersey close to Philadelphia.
------DAY 19- Bonnie and Courage both left us today. Bonnie flew away to save Philadelphia from an infestation of angry hummingbirds, and Courage left to go bite elderly people at a retirement home in Delaware. We picked up a suspicious man named Bill Clinton somewhere near Washington, DC as well as his traveling companion named "Monica". We arrived in South Carolina, today and all of our third graders left us. Their parents were quite pleased for letting the third graders use my van as a school bus, and rewarded me with a pat on the back and a number of angry e-mails. The grasshoppers decided to stay with us when they discovered a plague of locusts had already destroyed all of the good fields in South Carolina. We ended up our day at a motor inn in Jacksonville, Florida. We didn't see any sites today.
-----DAY 20- The grasshoppers jumped out of the car in Daytona Beach, and ate all of the hair right off of the villagers. The enraged citizens bombarded my van with yoghurt and raw potatoes, but we managed to escape. In Christmas, Florida we saw the "Swampy" the World's Largest Alligator. We also picked up a number of strange creatures near Orlando with stupid names like "Mickey", "Daisy", and "Pluto". We headed west on I-10 and ended up in the swamps of Louisiana. Boragi left us this afternoon and began crawling north to chew down the Governor's Mansion in Montgomery, Alabama.
----DAY 21- Bill & Monica left us this morning, and hitched another ride up to Arkansas. Now the only companions I had left were the six wackos I had picked up near Orlando, Igor the Marmoset, and the Ugly Parakeet. Today we entered Texas and saw the World's Largest Rattlesnake in Freer. We ended the night at a bingo hall near San Antonio.
----DAY 22- Three senior citizens named Oswald, Ethel, and Annika have joined us. Oswald is a klutz, Ethel is ugly and Annika is evil. Annika bit Igor in the leg. I stopped by the side of the road until she calmed down. While we were stopped, a woman named Mrs. Grange snuck into the car. We thought she was just another hopeless hitchiker, but it turned out she was a voodoo priestess who wanted to put a spell on us all. We made our last stop today at the World's Largest Jackrabbit in Odessa, Texas. We returned to Colorado today, and had to spend the night at the Comfort Inn in Pueblo. Mrs. Grange's familiar, Sally the Stupid Serpent advised Mrs. Grange to just put her curses on Annika. Mrs. Grange obliged, and Annika ended up living in a prairie dog hole behind a Wendy's restaurant.
----DAY 23----- Our last day!! Mrs. Grange and Sally departed us somewhere near Colorado Springs, to start a new life washing dishes in a "Denny's" restaurant. Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto, the wackos I picked up back in Orlando also left somewhere near Castle Rock, their goal to start a successful foot amputation clinic. Igor left me in Denver to start his new life at the Denver Zoo. That left me and the Ugly Parakeet. Somewhere near FlatIron Crossing Mall, the Ugly Parakeet flew away, right into the arms of an Ugly Person who was walking out of "Dillard's" As I drove up US 36 back towards Boulder, I felt lonelier than I ever had before. All of the people I had met on my journey had meant so much to me- how could I go back to the pointless and meaningless I had had before working at Wulepa Incorporated? I couldn't. I decided to drive my van off a bridge into Boulder Creek. And I did. Unfortunaely, Boulder Creek was down to just a trickle, and I had to walk away from the accident unhurt. While I was walking down South Boulder Road, I tripped on my shoelaces, which were untied. Could my life possibly get any worse? I resolved that once I got back to my house, I would eat a Chia Pet sprayed with dangerous pesticides. Then I noticed, at my feet was a Powerball Ticket. It was the Winning Ticket!!!!!! I called all of my old pals on the phone and they all came to live with me in my Pink Mansion high atop Flagstaff Mountain. Yep, just me, Igor, the Ugly Parakeet, the Ugly Person, Sally, Proallus, Sally & Proallus' uncle, Norma, Courage the Cowardly Dog Lookalike, Bonnie, Boragi, 8 third graders and 82 grasshoppers, Bill & Monica, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy, Donald, Pluto, Goofy, Mrs. Grange, Sally the Stupid Serpent Familiar, 89,000 crows, 2 donkey killers turned nice, and of course I purchased all of the landmarks I had seen on my trip and put them in my backyard. Oh yeah, and I went back to work at Wulepa Incorporated. THE END
