The following is a really good joke that I received in my Email. I hope you enjoy it.
> 63 WAYS TO PISS A COP OFF!!!!!!
> >>> >>> > 1. When you get pulled over, say "What's
wrong,
> >>> >>> ossifer, there's no> >>> >>> >blood in> >>>
>>> >my alcohol?"
> >>> >>> > 2. When he asks why you were speeding,
tell him
> >>> >>> you wanted to race.
> >>> >>> > 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are
deaf.
> >>> >>> > 4. If he asks if you knew how fast you
were
> >>> >>> going, say no, my> >>> >>> >speedometer> >>>
>>> >only goes to......
> >>> >>> > 5. Ask if you can see his gun.
> >>> >>> > 6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell
him I
> >>> >>> just wanted to see if> >>> >>> >mine> >>>
>>> >was bigger.
> >>> >>> > 7. Touch him.
> >>> >>> > 8. When he asks why you were speeding,
tell him
> >>> >>> you had to buy a hat.
> >>> >>> > 9. Ask him where he bought his cool
hat.
> >>> >>> > 10. Refer to him by his first name.
> >>> >>> > 11. Pretend you are gay and ask him
out.
> >>> >>> > 12. When he says no, cry.
> >>> >>> > 13. If he says yes, accuse him of
sexual> >>> >>> harassment.
> >>> >>> > 14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how
ugly she
> >>> >>> is, but in a nice way.
> >>> >>> > 15. If he asks you to step out of the
car,
> >>> >>> automatically throw yourself> >>> >>> >on>
>>> >>> >the hood.
> >>> >>> > 16. When he asks you to spread them,
tell him
> >>> >>> you don't go that way.
> >>> >>> > 17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say
"Usually
> >>> >>> my dates buy me dinner> >>> >>> >first"
> >>> >>> > 18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy,
cause
> >>> >>> you don't like ink on your> >>> >>>
>fingers.
> >>> >>> > 19. After you sign the ticket and give
it to
> >>> >>> him, say "Oops! That's the> >>> >>> >wrong
name."
> >>> >>> > 20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he
agrees,
> >>> >>> tell him sorry, I just> >>> >>> >ate> >>>
>>> >the last one.
> >>> >>> > 21. When he comes up to the car, say
"License
> >>> >>> and registration, please"> >>> >>> >right
when he says it.
> >>> >>> > 22. When he goes to read you your
rights, sing
> >>> >>> "La La La, I can't hear> >>> >>> >you!"
> >>> >>> > 23. Trip and fall into him.
> >>> >>> > 24. Accuse him of police brutality when
he
> >>> >>> pushes you away.
> >>> >>> > 25. Before you sign the ticket, pick
your nose.
> >>> >>> You have to sign with> >>> >>> >his> >>> >>>
>pen.
> >>> >>> > 26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
> >>> >>> > 27. Clean your ear with the pen.
> >>> >>> > 28. If it's a click pen, take it apart
and play
> >>> >>> with the spring.
> >>> >>> > 29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says
yes,
> >>> >>> say I thought the name> >>> >>> >sounded>
>>> >>> >familiar.....
> >>> >>> > 30. Ask him if he ever worked in a
prison. If he
> >>> >>> says yes, ask him how> >>> >>> >the> >>> >>>
>plumbing was.
> >>> >>> > 31. Act like you are retarded.
> >>> >>> > 32. When he's telling you what you did
wrong,
> >>> >>> start repeating him,> >>> >>> >quietly.
> >>> >>> > 33. Mumble to yourself.
> >>> >>> > 34. When he tells you to stop, say what
are you
> >>> >>> talkin about, DUDE?
> >>> >>> > 35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say
hmmm....only
> >>> >>> 5 of you here> >>> >>> >tonight.......
> >>> >>> > 36. Ask if they know how to make the
donuts.
> >>> >>> > 37. When he comes to the car, say I have
a badge
> >>> >>> just like yours!> >>> >>> > 38. Ask if he
watches Cops.
> >>> >>> > 39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
> >>> >>> > 40. Giggle if he did.> >>> >>> > 41.
Talk to your hand.
> >>> >>> > 42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy
Palm and
> >>> >>> her Five Favorite> >>> >>> >Friends.
> >>> >>> > 43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if
he does.
> >>> >>> > 44. When he frisks you, say You missed a
spot,> >>> >>> and grin.
> >>> >>> > 45. When he asks to inspect your car,
say there
> >>> >>> is no alcohol in my car,> >>> >>> >sir, the
last cop got it.
> >>> >>> > 46. Try to sell him your car.
> >>> >>> > 47. Ask if you can buy his car.
> >>> >>> > 48. If he takes you to the station, Ask
to sit> >>> >>> in front.
> >>> >>> > 49. Play with the siren.
> >>> >>> > 50. If you know him, say you had his
wife for> >>> >>> dinner.
> >>> >>> > 51. If you don't know him, ask if you
can have
> >>> >>> his wife for dinner.> >>> >>> > Oops...I
meant OVER for dinn
> >>> >>> > 52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
> >>> >>> > 53. If he asks what it is, point at him
and> >>> >>> giggle.
> >>> >>> > 54. If there is someone else in the car,
talk to
> >>> >>> each other in tongues.
> >>> >>> > 55. When he acts confused, keep talking,
look at
> >>> >>> him and laugh.
> >>> >>> > 56. When you are in the back, touch his
neck
> >>> >>> through the fencing.> >>> >>> > 57. Turn
your head and whistle.
> >>> >>> > 58. When he pulls out his night stick,
say what
> >>> >>> you gonna do with that.
> >>> >>> > 59. If you are female, say I don't do
that on
> >>> >>> the first date.
> >>> >>> > 60. If he sticks you in the back of the
car,
> >>> >>> cower in the corner, suck> >>> >>> >your>
>>> >>> >thumb, and whine.
> >>> >>> > 61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at
the
> >>> >>> pretty colors!"> >>> >>> > 62. Tell him
you like men in uniform.
> >>> >>> > 63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform
for a
> >>> >>> Halloween party.
