Julia couldn't sleep. To be completely honest, she was afraid to sleep. Afraid that if she closed her eyes, and slipped into the tempting unconsciousness that waited for her, then the Eden group would leave her again. Abandon her once more to the lonely and dangerous wilds of this alien world. Not that she hadn't deserved it before, for her betrayal of the group to Reilly, the Council's "watcher." But she had always fought to protect the group, even as her conflicting loyalties tore at her soul. The terror she'd felt when she'd awoken, two days ago, to discover herself alone and practically helpless, had remained with Julia, and she loathed the thought of sleeping, for fear that that terror would wait for her again upon waking.
So she was awake in the middle of the night, wandering around the camp, clutching her coat to her against the increasingly cold night air. Her breath was visible in puffs of steam as she paced around the camp, past the sleeping Walman, who was supposedly on guard. Julia snorted in disgust, but didn't bother to wake him up. He'd just as likely accuse her of doing something to endanger the group again. Though Julia fully expected it would take a long time before these people would trust her again, it still hurt... the hostile looks, the uncertainty, the mistrust... Even after helping them destroy the Z.E.D yesterday hadn't helped. In all honesty, the young doctor had always tried to help them. Her ties to the Council had been strong, but even though she had belonged to the Council from birth, her connection to these people had proved stronger. For them she had betrayed her family, her life, everything. And they didn't want her with them. If Alonzo had not come back for her, she would still be out there....
Unbidden, a smile crossed her lips. Alonzo Solace, ace pilot and the original flyboy, living up to that reputation in all its glory. Julia had no doubt he'd left a trail of lovers, and girlfriends behind wherever he went. And, when he'd made plain his interest in her, Julia had simply refused to let herself become one of those multiples of women. Her honor and pride would not allow it. It was hard though, and not because of the undeniable physical attraction that practically crackled between them whenever they were within ten feet of each other, though she couldn't deny the desire she felt for him. It was difficult for Julia because she honestly cared about Alonzo, trusted him, and he had proved he cared for and trusted her by coming back to retrieve her when no one else had. He had risked his own standing in the group to save her. And now that she was safely in camp, Alonzo stood by her, silent when necessary, and defending her when he felt her honor required it. Her involvement in the Z.E.D affair had gone a long way to helping the group trust her again... but it would take time.
There could be no doubt their relationship had changed. Ever since their first encounter, the sexual tension had hissed between them, encouraged by Alonzo, suppressed by the professional Julia. After the crash, it had been worse. Trapped with him on this planet, with only a dozen other people to distract her from his presence... and she'd had to spend so much time with him, healing his injuries... After he'd kissed her, Julia had simply done her best to avoid him. Whenever they'd been together, she'd taken pains to be carefully polite to him, but detatched, aloof. Then, when she'd begun contacting Reilly, Julia Heller had had more problems than just dealing with Alonzo's amorous intentions towards her. It hurt her to think how she had treated him, for Alonzo did not deserve her coldness, he had proved that by coming after her and bringing her back to the group. As she thought about it now, it startled her that he should have done so, considering how she had treated him the past weeks.
Julia sighed thoughtfully and seated herself gracefully on an upturned crate, staring up at the twinkling stars. It was that selfless act of his, she decided, that had changed everything. When he'd found her, hiding in the bushes, trembling, crying, he'd been shocked by the change in her. That night, Alonzo had lain beside her on the ground and held her to him as she explained everything to him. What she'd done, why she'd done it, the confusion, the sense of being trapped, of being used... But he hadn't judged her for any of it. He hadn't said that what she'd done had been right or wrong, good or bad, he'd only held her, soothed her, giving her the comfort she so desperately required. Thinking about it, Julia realized that was the last good nights sleep she'd had. However, ever since then, he had been acting differently around her... Softer, almost tender with her. And Julia found that she liked it.
"Hey, Doc," came that familiar, sexy voice and Julia jumped in surprise at hearing it so late at night. She was on her feet and spinning around to catch a glimpse of him. Wearing a charismatic grin that had no doubt slain the wills of many women, Alonzo Solace emerged from the shadows, pulling up a crate beside her and sitting down. "Its a little late to be up, don't you think?"
As she, too, seated herself, Julia gave him a wry look, and arched one brow, but said nothing. Alonzo chuckled, a soft, sensual sound that sent spikes of longing through her. "Want some coffee?" he inquired and she was surprised to see him offering her one of two cups he'd had with him. He then revealed a thermos of hot, steaming coffee, obviously freshly made, and poured some into both cups even before Julia could give an astonished nod.
"You came prepared," she commented sardonically when she regained her voice.
Solace grinned wickedly at her. "Flyboy's motto, be prepared," he teased her. Julia laughed quietly, and took a cautious sip of the hot coffee.
"Still can't sleep, hmmm?" Alonzo murmurred softly, drinking from his own cup. The young doctor cast a startled glance at him and jerked back. He lifted one hand, absently brushing back a strand of loose blonde hair from her face. Again, she jumped back, completing the image of a skittish koba caught in the light of a lumalamp.
"Relax, Julia..." Solace shook his head, dark eyes gleaming sorrowfully at her. Despite all he'd done for, despite all they'd been through, Alonzo thought sadly, she was still wary of trusting anyone. Even him. "You can't honestly think I want to hurt you?"
Embarrassed, Julia shook her head, lowering her gaze. But a soft, warm finger on her chin forced her to make eye contact and Julia's cheeks flushed crimson in the soft moonlight.
"Julia?" His voice was gentle, but insistent.
She sighed. "No."
Alonzo sighed despondently, pulling his crate closer to hers and slipping one arm around her shoulder. He was gratified when she leaned against him, his other arm closing around her, the coffee forgotten. For a long moment, the man simply enjoyed the feeling of Julia in his arms. He recognized where her fears came from, and knew they were not without truth. The pilot tried to focus his thoughts on how to help reassure her, but the closeness of her intoxicating presence was too distracting. Solace sighed again, hugging her briefly. "Julia..." he began cautiously. She looked up at him, the quiet strength in her eyes enough to help him continue. "You've always had trouble letting go, relaxing... And I know I'm not the most serious of people..." Alonzo frowned absently. "Or at least, I wasn't. Till I came here." When he met her gaze, his own dark and somber, his face was entirely serious. Not a hint of the happy-go-lucky, carefree flyboy pilot she'd first met lingered there. "This planet changes people. It has a way of getting inside your head and making you see things how they really are..." Now his voice was faintly troubled as he recalled their first months here, when he'd nearly been driven insane by the incessant call of the Terrians in his dream. That had been a hellish time for him, haunted by calls from creatures in the night. Then they had helped him, 'healed' him as he'd put it."You can't hide from anything here," he whispered and Julia sensed he was speaking more for himself now, than to her.
His words touched something in her and Julia shook her head, an indefinable weariness settling over her. "I'm so tired, Alonzo," she said softly, leaning heavily against his chest. "I can't fight anymore. After this past week - "
"Shhh, angel," he murmurred, his arm closing around her back and holding her close against the warm solidness of him. "Just sleep. I'll watch over you." His voice was soporific and Julia felt heavy lids closing over her pale eyes. Abstractly, she wondered over his endearment, but exhaustion weighed too heavily upon her. Though her position was uncomfortable, Julia was soon fast asleep.
Solace stared down at Julia, letting his expression show the tenderness he could not reveal while she was awake. Standing, he cradled the delicate body against his chest. For a moment, Alonzo gave into temptation and buried his face into her soft, blonde hair. He breathed in deeply, then sighed and pulled his head back, carrying her gently to her tent. Something about this beautiful, delectable woman called out to him and as Alonzo lowered her lightly to his bunk, he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. She stirred, and smiled in her sleep. Reluctantly, Alonzo disengaged his arms and stepped back. Though she slept still, he heard an instant whimper, a soft sound of dismay. He stepped back, touching her arm lightly, concerned. She calmed. One of his eyebrows arched in astonishment and he stepped away. Instantly, her unrest returned and she shifted, a faint, pained frown appearing to line her face. Alonzo returned to her side. The frown vanished and she slept peacefully.
"Well," he murmurred in amazement. The expression altered to confused dismay. He couldn't leave her like this; she'd be awake and roaming the camp before he'd even left her tent. Sighing in consternation though his eyes twinkled with sly humor, Alonzo lay down beside her. It took him a while to get comfortable; the bed wasn't exactly made for two. But within a few moments he'd arranged their two bodies so they were spooning. Julia relaxed against him, and Alonzo's arm tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. Within moments, he, too, was fast asleep.
Julia woke, and knew something was strange without even opening her eyes. To begin with, she felt rested, and knew she'd slept most of the night through. Secondly, another warm, solid body was pressed against her, one arm slung across her waist. Julia was puzzled, though she instantly identified the other as Alonzo. After all, who else would it be? Sunlight pierced through her closed lids and she opened her eyes cautiously, startled to see it was already past dawn.
"Lonz?" she murmurred, touching his leg lightly with her hand. He groaned and buried his head into her shoulder, but didn't wake. Julia resisted a giggle, a little surprised by the ease with which she'd accepted their domestic situation. "Lonzo, you gotta wake up. Its time to get up."
"Mmmm...... kay," he muttered, forcing his eyelids open.
Julia climbed out of the bed and looked down at him as he sat up. His hair stuck out at all angles, his eyes were sleep-fuzzed and half-shut still and Julia could not have imagined a more beautiful vision. She sighed. This wasn't good. As she pushed him out of her tent, Julia recognised that something very important had changed between them that night. As he resisted her long enough to gently caress the side of her face, Julia knew he sensed it also.
No one noticed that Alonzo emerged from Julia's tent, grinning to himself, and humming under his breath, looking just a little rumpled. No one noticed that Julia seemed much happier than she had for a long time, nor that the dark, weary circles under her eyes had vanished. No one noticed the brief, smiling glances they shot at each other the whole day long. No one noticed that they either walked or drove together all day, and ate together during their short rests.
That night, Julia went to her tent, fully expecting that her period of insomnia was over. She'd slept the whole night through last night. Two hours of tossing and turning later, she was forced to revise this belief. It was quite apparent to her that, for whatever reason, she was still suffering from her insomnia. Julia therefore set her logical, rational mind to discovering a reason and did not like what it came up with.
Alonzo.
He was the only variable. The night out in the wilds, alone with him sleeping beside her, Julia had slept the last hours before dawn as peaceful as a babe. Last night, with him beside her, she had slept easily. Every other night when she was alone, sleep eluded her. Much as her pride might resent the fact, it appeared Alonzo Solace was vital to her. Julia scowled and pushed the blankets away. Irritation stamped itself over her delicate features as she reached a hand down to switch on a lumalamp and climbed to her feet. A moment later, after rummaging around in her medikit, she pulled out a hypoderm. Loading it with a sedative, Julia raised it to her neck.
Alonzo growled in annoyance, sitting up. This wasn't working. Why couldn't he sleep? Insomnia had never been a problem for him, not since coming here anyway. Though he had longed for sleeplessness their first month or so on this planet, he had always dropped into unconsciousness the minute his head hit the pillow. The pilot groaned irritably, and rested his head in his hands. Obviously, there had to be a reason. He was tired; walking all day tended to accomplish that. After an hour of trying to sleep, and failing miserably, Solace was beginning to wonder if Julia's insomnia were contagious.
Julia? he wondered, amazed. No, it couldn't be. He'd slept fine every other night. Why now? Alonzo shook his head. This was probably the most unrealistic, implausible, unscientific hypothesis he'd ever heard of - not being able to sleep without Julia Heller, indeed! - but something deeper, older than his intellectual mind insisted it was correct. Though he grumbled to himself about it, Solace climbed out of bed, pulled on his jacket, pants and boots with more than a hint of eagerness... and not just for sleep. Lying beside Julia all last night had been a dream come true for him. In some ways, it was frightening how much he cared for, needed her. In others, it seemed perfectly logical.
No one was up this late. Except Baines, who was on guard duty, but Alonzo slipped past him easily. His and Julia's tents were near each other, the farthest away from the centre of camp. Silent as the Terrians, he drifted through the shadows to her tent, and slipped inside. She hadn't heard him; she was out of bed, about to inject herself with something from a hypoderm. For a moment, he was afraid she was back to her old tricks again; then he recognized it as a sedaderm. Instead of being smug, however, he was only relieved. At least it wasn't just him.
"Angel?"
Julia jumped, spinning around; the hypoderm held out in front of her like some kind of weapon. "Alonzo?" she queried in astonishment, wondering how come she hadn't heard him enter her tent. "What are you doing here?"
He smiled tiredly at her. "Helping both of us get some sleep. We can't keep on trekking all day long if we don't get a few hours of decent rest each night," he informed her pedantically, pulling off his flight jacket and kicking his boots away. The arm holding the hypoderm fell to her side and Julia stared, slack-jawed with confusion and surprise. She suspected she should also be indignant, or at the very least, annoyed, that he was acting in such a proprietary manner in her tent.
By now he was sitting on her bed, that wolfish grin still plastered across his dark, handsome face. "Well?"
Julia let the sedaderm fall from her limp fingers. It landed with a soft thud on the table, but Julia still couldn't move. Alonzo's smile altered imperceptibly and he stood, moving with the silent grace of a cat as he stepped lightly towards her. "C'mon, Julia, lets get some sleep," and he put one arm around her shoulders, guiding her gently to her bunk. Julia let him pull them both down on the bunk, arranging their bodies into much the same position as they'd woken in that morning. Only as his arm rested against her stomach, his face pressed against her shoulder blades, did Julia regain control. And when she did, all she could manage was a soft chuckle.
"Lonz?"
"Yeah, angel?"
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Go to sleep, huh?"
She laughed. "Okay."
And she did.
