Sunset

     "Hey, Danziger, where you going?" Solace, their charismatic young-old flyboy called when he saw John Danziger heading away from the camp they had just set up for the night. After all they’d been through the past months, it was understandable if they were slightly overcautious.
"Just... for a walk." Danziger smiled back, a little tightly. His blue gaze flicked briefly around the camp, pausing on Devon, who, at Solace’s call, had stopped what she was doing and looked up. She was supposed to be resting, he thought, but said nothing. It only made her mad and he couldn’t deal with an angry Devon today.
"Danziger?" she asked, approaching. She looked sideways at Alonzo who shrugged, then back at the mechanic. It was unusual for anyone to go out at twilight. "You’re going somewhere?"
Danziger groaned and ran a hand through his curly blonde hair. "I’m just goin’ for a walk, okay? Does it have to be the whole camp’s business?"
Adair tilted her head, and smiled slightly. "No. I guess we all need some time away from everyone else." She hunched her shoulders slightly, and John gathered that she, too, was feeling crowded. "Mind if I come too?"
Danziger shrugged. "If you want to." He turned and started walking and Devon followed, walking swiftly to keep up with him. Danziger walked quickly, as though trying to get away from her but, despite her recent illness and current weakness, Devon managed to keep up with him, probably out of sheer determination.
"If you’re ‘just going for a walk’ Danziger, then how come you’re going so fast?" Adair demanded breathlessly. They were already out of sight and sound of the camp, but Devon’s Gear hung at her belt in case anything happened.

      She was startled when Danziger stopped suddenly, and stared at her. Devon stared back, blankly.
"Sorry," he muttered. He observed her ragged breathing. "You should rest for a while."
He saw her about to take umbrage, so he resolutely seated himself on the ground, leaning against a tree. Devon desisted, and did the same, secretly grateful for the chance to get her breath back.

      Although the Terrians had destroyed the virus that was killing her, thereby healing her, she was still weak, and tired easily. They sat there, with only the sound of the G889 bird and insect-life in accompaniment with Devon’s heavy breathing to break the silence.

      Neither said anything. Devon found herself staring at John, who was watching the sun that lowered over the horizon. Danziger had been acting oddly ever since she’d been reanimated two weeks previously. Devon didn’t understand it. He was moody - well, more than normal - hostile, angry. He did everything he could to avoid being near her, and, in fact, stayed away from everyone but True. And when he looked at her, he looked... hurt. There was an expression in his eyes that worried her terribly. She wanted to talk to him about it and took a breath before she began.
"John -"
"Yeah?"
"Did I do anything to make you mad?"

This was not what Danziger had expected. He knew she’d come with him to talk to him about his admittedly anti-social behavior lately. But he’d been expecting a lecture, condemnation, a rebuke. Not a fretful 'did I make you mad?' John stared at her, this beautiful woman he’d come to know so well, and shook his head sadly.
"No, Adair. I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad at anyone."
Except maybe life in general he thought miserably.
Devon paused. If not angry, then what? "Okay," she said lamely. She looked at him for a long time, then looked away. She sighed.
Danziger couldn’t help it. That faintly bemused, slightly hurt look on her face made him say more. "I’m just... I don’t know. Thinking about everything that’s happened since we landed here. All we’ve faced, and still managed to survive." He shook his head and hoped that would satisfy her.
Devon nodded, smiling crookedly. "I know. We thought this world was ours to tame. But then... with Uly being Healed, Gaal, Julia spying on us... the ZED. Mary. When I think about it, it amazes me that we’ve come so far. By rights, more of us should have died than just Eben." Her eyes slanted downwards in sadness as she remembered their friend.
"You almost did, Devon," John said, his voice oddly rough. She looked at him curiously.
"I know." She shuddered. "I would have if you hadn’t put me in cold sleep."
Danziger looked down at his hands, then up at her. This touched too close to the real cause of his mood, and yet, he had to ask. "Devon... while you were in cold sleep... when you were sick... Did you dream?"
Devon stared at John, her initial gratitude that he had decided to talk to her fading as she heard his question. There was something in his voice, something hurt, something sad, that made her hurt and sad too. It took her a moment to answer him. She allowed herself to remember that time of cold and dark, when her only lifeline to reality was the image of Uly’s Terrian-staff with the red ribbon tied to it. "Yes. I dreamed. It was - all disconnected. Like I was trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle, only the pieces didn’t all fit." She sighed and shook her head absently. "It was confusing. I can only remember bits and pieces."
The man next to her looked up suddenly, and she saw a depth of some emotion in his eyes that Devon could never have expected. Oh, she’d known he was intelligent, strong, that he’d experienced a lot of pain in his life, that he loved his daughter incredibly. But he was always so controlled. The one time she’d seen him break down... But, even with that, she’d never expected - this! This, like some great wound in him that needed her to heal it.
"Can you tell me?" he asked hopefully. "What you remember?"
What she remembered. Devon hesitated; she’d never told anyone about her dreams in the cold sleep chamber. Not Uly, or even Yale, who’d been her confidante since childhood. But somehow, in this place, at this time, it was right for her to tell this man.
"I remember seeing all of you, standing over a grave. You couldn’t see me. I thought, at first, that it was Eben’s, but then I went closer and... I saw my name on it." Involuntarily, she revealed her fear at the possibility of her death. "Uly was crying, and Yale... Julia looked like she’d been through hell and I knew that this was what would have happened if you hadn’t put me in the ship’s cryo-bed." Devon took a deep breath, paused, and glanced at him briefly, before returning her gaze to the sun that hung just above the horizon. "And you were there." Again, she paused, waiting to see if he would say anything. He didn’t, but she could sense his interest. "You looked... so lost. Like a little boy. And very alone."
"That’s how I felt," he told her in that deep, husky voice Devon had come to love. She remained silent, risking another brief glance at him. He, too, was staring at the setting sun. "Tell me more," he asked softly, almost pleadingly. "What else did you dream?"
"I saw the Terrians around my grave. I think they were apologizing. Something they’d done to stop the humans who’d hurt them made me sick. You know Julia’s never been able to explain it, and it was only with the Terrian’s help that she could save me at all," Devon reminded him and he nodded. "I don’t think they’d wanted to hurt us. But they couldn’t differentiate between humans, they couldn’t understand that we’re all different people. Not like them. When I got sick, Uly made them see I was different, innocent. That I had done nothing to hurt them. I think they understand now that we’re all unique. That’s why they helped me."

      Here Devon paused for a long time, uncertain about whether she should tell him about the other dream. What the hell, she thought blithely. If this was the night for exposing their soul’s, she might as well do her bit. "And I saw you. Standing on your own. You were outside the ship, trying to get in and help me, but you couldn’t. Your feet were held to the ground. The rest of the group were behind you, calling you onward, but you refused to go. And they couldn’t reach you, either. You were caught in the middle. Not even True could get to you."
She stopped for a moment, and felt something warm on her hand. The woman looked down nervously and saw John’s hand on hers, his gaze on her alone.
"Go on," he urged softly. She did not remove her hand.
"You kept trying to get free, so you could get to the ship. To me," Devon amended. "You were stuck, but you fought so hard to get out." She shook her head as she remembered the fierce determination of the Dream-Danziger. Then she added, with a smile, "and you finally did, and you came into the ship. You picked up Uly’s staff and pointed it at the chamber. And then - that’s when I woke up," she finished lamely. John was staring at her, and the question in his eyes was more obvious than ever. Devon felt a tingling in her stomach when she looked into his beautiful blue eyes.
"I know how much you missed me while I was asleep, John Danziger," she told him in a very soft voice, almost a whisper. She knelt in front of him, holding his hand with both of hers. "But I’m back now."
He stared at her and didn’t say anything. He swallowed convulsively, his blue eyes shining with something that suspiciously resembled tears, and suddenly she found herself engulfed in his arms, held very close to him. She felt him tremble as he held onto her, and Devon wrapped her arms around his neck and held him back. Feeling the pounding of his heart, she realized then just how much he really needed her, how much he cared for her, how frightened, how terrified he’d been when she was ill. The thought that someone could care that much for her - she, the poor little rich girl who’d had only Yale for company - awed Devon.
"Yes, Devon, you’re back," he murmured huskily in her ear and finally released her.
Devon suddenly rocked back on her heels, finding herself abruptly free of his embrace. She could only stare as he added, "you’re back, and in command again." Now I wish I hadn’t pushed him away all those times Devon thought, understanding his reluctance, understanding why he held back. She had been so vocal in her hostility towards him, how could he ever believe she could now care for him? Love him, as she’d come to realize she did? But did she have the courage to tell him that? Well, now was the time if there ever would be one.
"I missed you too," Devon told him, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "I’m glad I’m back."
"Me too," Danziger said roughly. He looked away, unable to watch her any longer. How could he? How much longer could he stand to be so close to her, seeing her so often, but unable to admit what he felt for her? What he’d only realized, in a painful flash, the instant she’d collapsed, all those weeks ago?
"John, look at me."
He did. She was gazing at him, with infinite kindness in her beautiful eyes. There was something else in her eyes, as well, something he dared not hope for. But she touched his cheek with tenderness, and smiled.
"It’s okay, John. I -" she glanced down, embarrassed, but her need outweighed her fear and her courage remained. "I love you too."

      Danziger stared at her, hoping to every god he knew and all those he didn’t that she really had said what he thought she had. Had she looked so deeply into his heart and read the revelation that lay there? And then, taking courage in the hope that she meant what she’d said, John leaned forward and kissed her, tasted her lips, her sweetness. His hand tightened its grip on hers convulsively, and he closed his eyes, praying this was no dream. But he opened them and there she was, waiting for him, smiling like some amazing goddess.
"Oh, Devon," and he crushed her to him again, and Devon held him just as tightly, neither willing to let the other go. Danziger, because this woman he’d at first resented, then respected, and realized he loved as deeply as he did was more than he had ever hoped for and he vowed at that moment never to release her. Devon, because she was still amazed that he did love her. And he did. As no one else - not even Sheppard - had loved her. So much that he’d been this badly hurt when she was ripped from his life. He may not have said it, but it lay there in his eyes, and in his face, for her to see.

      And then, he did say it, his husky voice soft in her ear as he held her against his broad chest, and kissed her hair. "You knew?" he breathed, amazed. He’d thought he’d hidden it so well. Danziger smiled at her. "I loved you from the moment I first saw you, I think. I just... had to learn to admit it. To let it happen."
"So let it happen, John Danziger," Devon urged him, softly, smiling sweetly. And John did. He let go of all his uncertainty, his fear, his pain, his anger of the past weeks. And all that was left was love. It was a love that could not be doubted, now or ever, that would last the span of their lifetimes and on into the ages, that had existed throughout eternity waiting for them to be born and realize it. So he lowered this beautiful goddess-woman onto the ground, and kissed her tenderly at first, then as she responded with rising desire, more passionately.

And the sun set the rest of the way on its own.