Bammer Bear Pub Fight

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A Bammer Bear Pub Tale

It was a very hot and humid night. The Bammer Bear Sports Pub was very crowded. There was tension in the air. The bears were all socializing in their usual sporty cliques.

The baseball bears were all at their usual table arguing about which pitcher had the best record so far this season. A couple of the baseball bears were passed out on the floor.

The football bears were also at their usual table discussing which teams would make the playoffs this year.

The ice-skating bears, who did not usually patronize the pub, were there chatting about which skaters had a true lutz and which ones flutzed. Unbeknownst to them, they were occupying the table where the hockey bears usually sat.

The pub doors opened, the hockey bears swaggered in, and headed over to their usual table only to find it occupied by the figure-skating bears.

"You wussy, tutu-wearing skating bears get up and find another table!! This table is reserved for tough hockey skating bears--the guys that get the puck in the net no matter who they have to hurt to do it!" proclaimed Eric Lindros Bear.

The figure skating bears were all stunned and didn't know what to do. Elvis Stojko Bear slowly rose and came face-to-face with Lindros Bear. A hush fell over the crowd. "We're not moving. We were here first. If you want me to move, you'll have to physically move me yourself," Stojko Bear calmly decreed.

"Oh Stojko, you talk the Kung fu talk but underneath it all, you're nothing but a wimpy figure-skating bear. You can't take me! Besides Glen Doyle bar stool-swinging Kung fu bear hasn't been manufactured yet so he can't fight this battle for you!", growled Lindros Bear.
Stojko Bear began to lose his patience. "I'm warning you Lindros! Leave now and take your hockey bear friends with you or I will rip the stuffing out of your hide!"

All of a sudden Lindros Bear took a swing at Elvis Bear. Elvis Bear blocked the punch and delivered a blow to Lindros' face followed by a kick to his back side.

When it was all over Lindros Bear was lying face-down on the floor with stuffing coming out of his midseam. Stojko Bear was totally intact and barely out of breath.

Muhammad Ali Bear came over and proclaimed Elvis Stojko Bear the winner for "floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee".

All of the Bammer Bears cheered for Elvis Bear, our hero.

The End.

Disclaimer-1: My apologies to Eric Lindros. I am sure he is a perfectly fine gentleman off of the ice.
Disclaimer-2: Any resemblance to an actual pub fight between Lindros and Stojko is purely coincidental.

Yes, I have really lost it! Sorry to be so silly but I was having fun playing with some new photo-editing software.

Back to Elvis Stojko Mosaics home page.

A Bammer Bear Pub Tale
	It was a very hot and humid night. The Bammer Bear Sports Pub was very crowded. There was tension in the air. The bears were all socializing in their usual sporty cliques.
The baseball bears were all at their usual table arguing about which pitcher had the best record so far this season. A couple of the baseball bears were passed out on the floor.
The football bears were also at their usual table discussing which teams would make the playoffs this year.
The ice-skating bears, who did not usually patronize the pub, were there chatting about which skaters had a true lutz and which ones flutzed. Unbeknownst to them, they were occupying the table where the hockey bears usually sat.
The pub doors opened, the hockey bears swaggered in, and headed over to their usual table only to find it occupied by the figure-skating bears.

"You wussy, tutu-wearing skating bears get up and find another table!! This table is reserved for tough hockey skating bears--the guys that get the puck in the net no matter who they have to hurt to do it!" proclaimed Eric Lindros Bear.
The figure skating bears were all stunned and didn't know what to do. Elvis Stojko Bear slowly rose and came face-to-face with Lindros Bear. A hush fell over the crowd. "We're not moving. We were here first. If you want me to move, you'll have to physically move me yourself," Stojko Bear calmly decreed.
"Oh Stojko, you talk the Kung fu talk but underneath it all, you're nothing but a wimpy figure-skating bear. You can't take me! Besides Glen Doyle bar stool-swinging Kung fu bear hasn't been manufactured yet so he can't fight this battle for you!", growled Lindros Bear. Stojko Bear began to lose his patience. "I'm warning you Lindros! Leave now and take your hockey bear friends with you or I will rip the stuffing out of your hide!"
All of a sudden Lindros Bear took a swing at Elvis Bear. Elvis Bear blocked the punch and delivered a blow to Lindros' face followed by a kick to his back side.
When it was all over Lindros Bear was lying face-down on the floor with stuffing coming out of his midseam. Stojko Bear was totally intact and barely out of breath.
Muhammad Ali Bear came over and proclaimed Elvis Stojko Bear the winner for "floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee".
All of the Bammer Bears cheered for Elvis Bear, our hero. The End.