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How To Raise Your Child's Self-Esteem





What Is Self-Esteem?


Self-esteem is the way a person thinks and feels about himself and how well he does things that are important to him. Self-esteem is shaped by what a child thinks and expects of himself - and by how the important people in his life think and feel about him.





What Happens when A Child Has Low Self-Esteem?


Children with low self-esteem are at a disadvantage as they grow up and begin life - they typically feel they are not worth while - and they may overlook their talents and abilities.
They often get angry with themselves easily because they lack the confidence to persist in difficult or challenging tasks - they often avoid situations that cause them to be anxious or nervous - and may blame others for their failures. Such children are very defensive - and - in fact learn at an early age to build defenses around their weaknesses.
Children with low self-esteem develop behaviors and habits which reflect how they feel about themselves. This self-defeating behaviour can be seen in academic performance as well as in children's relationships with others.





Ways To Raise Your Child's Self-Esteem


Reward Children. Give praise and recognition. Emphasize the good - not the bad.
Take Their Ideas - Feelings - And Emotions Seriously. Don't belittle them by saying "You'll grow out of it" or "It's not as bad as you think".
Define Limits And Rules Clearly. Enforce them - but allow lee-way for your children within these limits.
Be A Good Role Model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself. Also let them see too that you can make mistakes and learn from them.
Teach Your Children How To Deal With Time And Money. Help them spend time wisely and budget their money carefully.
Have Reasonable Expectations Of Your Child. Help them to set reachable goals so they can achieve success.
Help Your Children Develop Tolerance. Teach tolerance toward those with different values - backgrounds - and norms. Point out other people's strengths.
Give Your Children Responsibility. They will feel useful - and valued.
Be Available. Give support when children need it.
Show Them That What They Do Is Important To You. Talk with them about their activities and interests. Go to their games - parent's day at school - drama presentations - award ceremonies for example.
Express Your Values. Describe the experiences that determined your values - the decisions you made to accept certain beliefs - the reasons behind your feelings.
Spend Time Together. Share favorite activites.
Discuss Problems Without Placing Blame. Do not comment on a child's character - - if children know that there is a problem but don't feel attacked - they are more likely to help look for a solution.
Use Phrases That Build Self-Esteem. Say "Thank you for helping" or "That was an excellent idea!". Avoid phrases that hurt self-esteem such as "Why are you so stupid?" - "How many times have I told you?"
Show How Much You Care About Them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and that you love them.






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