On Combat

• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• The easy way is always mined.
• The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
  a. when you're ready for them.
  b. when you're not ready for them.
• The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
• A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
• If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
• Never draw fire. It irritates everyone around you.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
• If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
• Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
• Friendly fire isn't.
• Recoilless rifles aren't.
• Suppressive fire won't.
• You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
• If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
• Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
• If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
• If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
• Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
• No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
• There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
• Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.
• There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
• A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
• The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
• Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.
• When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
• Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.
• Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
• Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
• Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
• Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
• Tracers work both ways.
• If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.
• When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
• Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
• Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
• Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
• Weather ain't neutral.
• If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.
• Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
• 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.
• The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
• Napalm is an area support weapon.
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
• B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
• Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
• Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
• The one item you need is always in short supply.
• Interchangeable parts aren't.
• It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
• When in doubt, empty your magazine at it.
• The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
• Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
• If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
• Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
• The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
• Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
• Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
• The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
• One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
• A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
• The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
• Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
• The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
• The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
• Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
• If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
• Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
• When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
• Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
• The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.
• To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
• The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
• The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
• When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
• The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.
• A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
• Murphy was a grunt.
• Beer Math -- 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
• Body count Math -- 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.
• The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
• All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
• The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
• The crucial round is a dud.
• Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
• There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
• If your ambush is properly set, the enemy won't walk into it.
• If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him.
• Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
• Odd objects attract fire. Never lurk behind one.
• The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
• The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
• There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
• Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
• The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.
• Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
• As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
• Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
• The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.
• Walking point = sniper bait.
• Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
• If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.
• All or any of the above combined.