151.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.______________________________________________________________________________________________ 152.A blonde is driving a 300,000$ Farrari down the high-way at 95 M.P.H. with the top down and the wind in her hair and she was all happy when a semi-truck carring a house takimg up all of the road on a one way street and the blonde had to slow down to 35 M.P.H. This made here very upset so she asked the driver to pull over so she could pass but he would not move. So she drove into the back of the truck taking off chunks of the house. The trucker pulled over and took out a piece of chalk and a baseball bat. He made a circle and told the blonde to stay in the circle. Seconds later he started to whup the crap out of the 300,000 car turning it into a 300,000$ hunka kugunca and the blonde was laughing here @$$ off and the trucker said "hey I killed you car why are you laughing?" the blonde said "well, when you were not looking I stepped out of the circle!" ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 153.A red head, a brunette, and a blonde are in the doctors office to get an ultra-sound since they are pregnent. The red head says" I'm going to hve a boy cause he was concived on the bottom" the brunette said "I will have a girl since she was concived on the top" the blonde started to cry and said " I am gonna have a puppy!" ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ 154. 2 blondes are going to the Wisconsin dell and they see a sign that says"Dells left" so they turned around and went home. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 155.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
156. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw
a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute,
she said to herself "oh well!" and turned around an drove home.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
157.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said
"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles,
she had cleaned 43 restrooms
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
158. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the
wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the
people were leaving.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
159. A blond walks into a barber shop wearing a sit of headphones. She sits down in the chair and says I need my hair cut. Barber starts to cut the right side then stops. Barber: "You need to take off your headphones" Blond: "I can't, I'll just die!" The barber cuts the right side and goes to the left side. He starts cutting then stops. Barber: "You really have to take off your headphones" Blond: "I can't, I'll just die!" The barber cuts the left side and starts to the back. He starts cutting then stops. Barber: "Now, you REALLY have to take off your headphones" Blond: "I can't, I'll just die!" The barber starts cutting then stops. He leans over and grabs the blond's headphones. She gags then falls to the ground dead. The barber picks up the headphone and listens. *Breathe In. Breathe Out. Breathe In. Breathe Out.*__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 160.
A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?..." "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh, duh! Here it is..." "May I have your car insurance?" "What's that?..." "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this? Duh! Here you go..." The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims:"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 161. There is this blonde that always gets tease and she doesn't like it at all. Now she herself is stupid but she does not want any more jokes, so she decides to dye her hair brown. She does and all of a sudden she is smart! She is getting strait A's and she drives her car with the top down and lets her hair blow with the wind when she sees a farmer herding sheep and she asks " If I can guess how many sheep you have can i have one?" The farmer says "O.K." and she says 342 that is correct and the farmer asks " How did you know that?" She replies well I just have knack for that stuff" so she picks up the best one and puts it in her car and the farmer asks" If I can Guess what color your hair used to be can I have my dog back?" __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 162.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred. Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 163. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 164. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 165. There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!" __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 166.
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In
the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor
wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out
"GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would
like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked
to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was
somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said
she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this
down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying
sod across the street.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
167. BLONDE #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
BLONDE #2: "No, who wrote it?"
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
168. A young blonde woman is asked out on a date and accepts. The boy picks her up and they go to a nearby carnival in town. They ride a few rides, play a few games, and seem to be generally hitting it off well. During a sort of romantic lull, however, the boy says, "What do you want to do now?" "I want a weigh," she says. Well, OK, thinks the boy. They walk over to the fortune scales, and weigh her. They play a few more games and stop for foods. "What do you want to do now?" asks the boy again. "I want a weigh," she says. Hmmm, a little odd but I'll put up with it, thinks the boy. Again they get her weight and fortune. After yet another few games and an exquisite fireworks show, the boy repeats, "What do you want to do now?" "I want a weigh," she says. Damn, thinks the boy, she's just too weird for me. They get her weight and fortune, and the boy drives her home. As she walks into the house, her sister asks, "How'd your date go?" "Wousy," says the girl.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 169.
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that
her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and
Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
170. Three blondes were walking through the desert when found a magic genie's lamp t he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter". So she became a redhead. The second blonde said "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a brunette. The third blond said "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 171.
Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don't know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
172.
A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the
car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the
blonde exclaims:"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
173.
A man and his blonde girlfriend were fooling around when the blonde
asked, "Would you mind taking off your ring? It's hurting me."
"Ring, nothing." he quipped, "That's my wristwatch."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
174. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 175.
BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look on her face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing,
I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get
a different answer."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
