_______________________________________________________________________________________________ 1.Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Tell her to piss in the corner of a round room _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2.Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: says she did. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3.Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell here she is pregnent. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4.Q: what will she say?
A: Is it mine? _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5.Q: What does a blonde say in the middle of a porno?
A: Thats me! _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6.Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: put turn me over on both sidea of a piece of paper. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7.Q: How does a blonde hold liquor?
A: By the ears _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8.Q: How does a blonde moon walk?
A: takes her pants off and slids her ass across the floor. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 9.Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 10.Q: What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?
A: An air bag. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 11.Q: Why are blondes coffins y shaped?
A: When they are on their backs their legs automaticly open. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 12.Q: What is the blondes mating call?
A: I am soooooo drunk! _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 13.Q: What is the mating call of a drunk blonde?
A: Screaming " I said I;m drunk!" _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 14.Q: What is the mating call of the brunette?
A: All of the blondes have gone home! A2: Has the blonde gane home yet? A3: Whens that blonde bitch gonna leave? _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 15.Q: What is a blonde doing wheb she is holding her hands tightly over her ears ?
A: Trying to hold a thought. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 16.Q: Why did the blonde stare at the fronzen orange juice for 2 hours?
A: The can said 'concentrate' _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 17.Q: Why don't blondes get a job as an elevator operator?
A: they don't know the routes _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 18.Q: What does a blonde and the bermuda triangle have in common?
A: they bloth swallow a lot of semen _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 19.Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Burie a blonde. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 20.Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: she opens the car door. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 21.Q: How can you tell if a blonde has had an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file A2: Who cares? A3: She says"next" A4:Who cares? A5:The batteries have run out A6:I've said it before and I'll say is again WHO CARES?! _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 22.Q: How do you make a blondes eyes light up?
A: shine a flashlight in her ears. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 23.Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep their heads from bobbing back and forth. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 24.Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes on her shoulder pads. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 25.Q: How does a blonde spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 26.Q: why can't blondes become cattle hearders?
A: Because they can't keep 2 calves together. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 27.Q: How many blondes take to plat tag?
A: 1 _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 28.Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: you only have to put infomation into a computer once. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 29.Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: the zamboni machine ran over her. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 30.Q: Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A: It takes to long to retrain them. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 31.Q: What is a blondes idea of dental floss?
A: Pubic hair ______________________________________________________________________ 32.Q: what does a smat blonde and a ufo have in common?
A: wh often hear about them but never see them. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 33.Q: What is the first thing a blonde do when she wakes up?
A: She goes home. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 34.Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?
A: there will be white-out all over the screen. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 35.Q: What does a blonde call the worst 5 years of here life?
A: the 3rd grade. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 36.Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 37.Q: When does a blonde stop blowing a guy?
A: when his 2 minutes are up. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 38.Q: WHat do you call a dumb brunette?
A: a dye job. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 39.Q: What did the blonde name here zebra?
A: Spot. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 40.Q: What is the difference between the Titanic and a blonde?
A: we know how many men went down with Titanic. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 41.Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Tuesday?
A: Tell her a joke on Friday. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 42.Q: How do you measure a blondes I.Q.?
A: With a tire guage. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 43.Q: Did you here about the blonde wolf that got caught in a bear trap?
A: Yeah, he chewed off 3 legs and was still trapped. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 44.Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror on the bottom of a pool. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 45.Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: she drowns it. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 46.Q: A blonde and a brunette are in the 1st grade, which is sexier?
A: The blonde 'cause she's 18. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 47.Q: Why did God give blondes 2% more brians than horses?
A: So the are not pooping in the middle of the road in the middle of parades. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 48.Q: Why do blondes where green lipstick?
A: becaue red means stop. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 49.Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that is where you are supposed to wash vegetables. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 50.Pop quiz hot shot your on an airplane to London and you want the window seat but a blonde is there what do you do? What do you do?
A: tell her that the seats going to London are in the middle. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 51.Q: Why did the blonde freeze in the drivw thru theater?
A: She went to see closed for the season. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 52.Q: Why do blondes work 7 days a week?
A: so you don't have to retrain them on monday. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 53.Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: The legs of an ironing board are hard to open. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 54.Q: What's 30 foreplay for a blonde?
A: 30 minutes of begging ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 55. Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless ming vase?
A: It's O.K. daddyI'm not hurt. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 56. Q:How does a blonde kill hreself?
A: She puts all of her clothes in a pile and jumps off. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 57. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Burie a blonde. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 58. Q: How do you get a 1 armed blonde to fall out of a tree?
A: Wave to her. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 59. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to sparkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ears. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 60: Q: Hoe do blondes like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 61. Q: How does a blonde think of 6.9?
A: 69 with a period. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 62: Q: does a blonde give a high-5?
A: she smacks herself in the forehead. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 63. What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 64. Q: What does a blonde think an innuedo is?
A: an italian suppostory. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 65. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde with a lawyer?
A: I dunno there are somethings even a blonde won't do. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 66. Q: What paralizes a blonde below the waist?
A: Marriage. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 67. Q:How do you confuse a blonde?
A: you don't their born that way. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 68. Q:Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: Because they are to hard to peel. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 69. Q:How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her some M&Ms and tell her to alphabatize them. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 70. Q: Why did'nt the blonde like the computer?
A: 'Cause it did'nt get channel 9. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 71. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using a refridgerator?
A: There will be lipstick on the cucumber. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 72. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 73. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has used a fax machine?
A: There will be a stamp on it. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 74. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop-tarts out of the toaster. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 75. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a phont booth?
A: A phone booth costs 0.35$ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 76. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before using a trampoline. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 77. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your friend borrow your toothbrush. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 78. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 79. Q: What function does a blonde have at the M&M factory?
A: Proofreading. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 80. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: She though out all of the W's ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 81. How do you kepp a blonde in suspense?
A: I'll tell you tommorrow ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 82. What do you call 10 blondes at the bootom of a pool?
A: Air pokets ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 83. Q: What do you call 10 blondes in a line?
A: An air tube. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 84. Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before brain surgery on a blonde?
A: "Space. The final frontier" ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 85. Q: Why Does a blonde stand by a window during a thunder storm?
A: Because she loves taking pictures. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 86. Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "Thanks, guys" ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 87. Q: Why don't blondes like Kool-Aid?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water into that tiny packet. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 88. Q:How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 89. Q:How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 90. Q:How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 91. Q:How did the blonde try to kill a bird?
A: She through it off a cliff ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 92. Q:What's brown, red,black, and blue?
A brunette that has told too many blonde jokes. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 93. Q:How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
A: 1 Boomer Esiason ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 94. Q:How does a blonde get pregnent?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb! ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 95. How can you tell who's a blondes boy-friend?
A: The belt buckle imprint on his forehead. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 96. Whats the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only 2 men fit in a broom closet. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 97. Q: Whats How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 98. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo." ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 99. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 100. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 101. Q: Why was the blonde exited when she finished a puzzle in 10 months?
A: The box said 2-4 years. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 102. Q:What do you do if a blonde throwghs a grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and through it back. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 103. Q:Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: She doesn't know either. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 104. Q:Why did the blonde cross the chain link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 105. Q: Why did the blonde drive around the block 10 times?
A: The turn signal was stuck. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 106. Q: What do you call a fly in a blondes head?
A: A space invader. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 107. Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cherrios?
A: Oh look! Doughnut seeds! __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 108. Q: What do you call 3 blondes in a freezer?
Q: frosted flakes. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 109. Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They drown in spring training. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 110. Did you hear about the blone that got the am radio? It took her a month to figure it our that you could use it at night. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 112. Q: What do you call 5 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 113. Q: Why did the blonde put TGIF on her shoes?
A: Toes go in first __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 114. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with hammers. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 115. Q: Why did the blonde fail her SAT?
A: She put an F in sex. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 116. Q:What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: Good, but the may offend some Mexicans __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 117. Q: Why do blondes drink with straws?
A: Practice. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 118. Q: Why do blondes drive BMW's?
A: Because they can spell it. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 119. Q:Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can' find the zipper. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 120. 2 blondes are going to the Wisconsin dell and they see a sign that says"Dells left" so they turned around and went home. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 121. Q:What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 122. Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a peeny for their thoughts?
A: change. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 123. Q: What do you call a blonde with 1/2 of a brain?
A: Gifted! __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 124. Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 125. Q: Whats a blondes favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (frito lay) __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 126. Q: What does a turtle and a blonde have in common?
A: When they're on their on backs their both screwed. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 127. Q: Why did the blonde put the stuffed puppy in the oven?
A: She wanted hot dogs! __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 128. Q: What did the blonde do when she broke the plastic cups?
A: She call a plastic surgeon. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 129. Q: Whats 500ft long and has a IQ of 50?
A: A blonde parade. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 130. Q: Why does a blonde smile when she sees lightning?
A: She thinks she is having a picture taken! __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 131. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 132. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 133. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 134. Q: What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 135. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 136. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 137. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK". __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 138.Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 139. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 140. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 141. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs ?
A: More leg room. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 142. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in ?
A: "Have another beer." __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 143. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes ?
A: A mental block. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 144. Q: What is 74 to a blonde ?
A: 69 plus G.S.T. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 145. Q: Why do blondes like the GST ? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 146. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas ?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
A2: They cant find the pull tab. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 147. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme ?
A: Humpme Dumpme. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 148. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger ?
A: You can park in the handicap zone. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 149. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up ?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
