People travelled from all over to the tiny town of Oberlin, in southwest Louisiana, to attend my father's funeral Mass that April morning. They drove from Mobile and New Orleans and Baton Rouge, from Atlanta and Dallas and Memphis, from Oklahoma City and Orlando and St. Louis. They drove from Lake Charles, having flown in from Boston and Chicago, from Los Angeles 'and South Bend, from Washington, DC and Washington State.

The parish priest of St. Joan of Arc had never seen his little church so full. He commented as he introduced the Notre Dame Jesuit to do the eulogy: "I never seen such an outpouring of love and respect for one of our parishioners." The light shone through the stained glass windows for which my father had paid as the two priests intoned the Mass, and the out-of-town mourners prayed. Their costs to be there that day undoubtedly exceeded Father's total estate, but money was not an important component of his legacy. To me, his legacy was three-fold: the Catholic faith, intellectual curiosity, and a knowledge of the value of friendship.

My father had a great gift for friendship. He was genuinely interested in people, and really cared for them. I truly believe he never lost track of a friend. At his funeral were friends from his boyhood, his college days at LSU, WWII service buddies, former neighbors, business associates, and family. And in family I include his godchildren--Father was a dedicated godfather--never forgetting birthdays, graduation, first communion, confirmation, and major achievements! He was the same toward blood relatives and friends--he never forgot. After my parents were divorced, when I was eight, Father wrote us children a Round Robin letter every Sunday, devoting a paragraph each to my brother, my sister, and to me. Other paragraphs addressed other relatives, so even though I didn't see my southern kin for 10 years, I always felt I knew them as well as the cousins with whom I played daily. Father was a major family link--one of our "Remembrancers". He filled the same function when a family member travelled: "You're going through Oklahoma, you must see Cousin Gussie"; "you're off to New Orleans; you must lunch with Tom Clements or Jack Coates!" And he would make sure that you did.

He was a great sharer of information as well. When I wrote him a letter about my senior trip to the 1964-65 World's Fair, he asked permission to show it to everyone else he knew that was going as a miniguide. When I was working at New York Public Library, he sent an oilman friend from Texas to take me to lunch and receive my input on whether Princeton was too "liberal" for his boy. Father loved to please people--to make them happy. Whenever he flew his Naval Reserve plane up to Glenview Naval Air Station & stayed over at the BOQ to visit us, we would always each get to choose an activity. My brother would usually pick a Cubs or White Sox game; my sister, a movie; I dragged Father to every museum, planetarium, aquarium, in Chicago. And he enjoyed it! He loved learning new things, and he encouraged it in us, including books at Christmas and birthdays, so I count my intellectual curiosity as part of my legacy from Father.

Our visits weren't just excursions--we'd always eat out once at a good restaurant, so he could inspect our table manners--and we'd always visit some old war buddy or former neighbor or relative (ex-relative of his, but Father never lost track of people!) My mother used to get so annoyed when he'd come to visit and he and her second husband (who had been in the same naval squadron as Father and Mother's brother Jack) would sit on the couch and refight the Pacific War or discuss baseball.

I believe this love for people may have been not just an aspect of his personality, as was the intellectual curiosity (his nickname was "Tinker"), but also an outgrowth of his devotion to the Church. Father was truly a devout Catholic. Mother may have divorced him, but he considered them still married in the eyes of God, so he remained single, went to daily Mass and the sacraments, tithed to St. Joan of Arc in Oberlin, and paid our tuition at parochial school through high school graduation, even though Dad adopted us when he married Mother. In many ways, I think Father could have made a marvelous priest but he did his best to be a good father, even long distance, and left a wonderful tripartite legacy--faith, intellectual curiosity, and friendship.