I knew the news he had to tell me wasn't good
When the doctor walked into my room that day
He looked at me with a grim expression
And said listen carefully to what I have to say
Your test results have come in
And Im sad to say that you're not well
There was more he needed to tell me
From the look on his face,this I could tell
He said Im sorry to have to tell you this
But its cancer that we have found
I nodded at him in shocked silence
As inside I could feel my heart begin to pound
He then put his hand softly on my shoulder
He said slowly Im sure this must be quite a shock
I didnt move or turn my head to look at him
I kept staring at the wall quietly watching the clock
Deep in my thoughts I silently wondered
How much longer did I have to go on
Or how many more tomorrows
Would I be able to wake up and greet the dawn
Finally turning my head slowly torwards him
With uncontrollable tears forming in my eyes
I had one question I then needed to ask him
Doctor please tell me am I going to die?
The look that came across his face then
I can still remember to this very day
He sat for a moment with a sorrow filled expression
As if he wasnt sure what to me he should then say
It seemed like an eternity before he finally said
Im sorry but it would be wrong for me to lie
We're going to do everything we possibly can
But yes there is a chance that you may die
I felt as if my world was slipping away just then
And inside I felt as if my heart would break
I kept hoping it was all a terrible nightmare
And from it soon I would surely awake
But unfortunately this was not to be for me
As this nightmare was all too real and true
I then gathered together all my strength
And right then decided what I was going to do
I decided I was going to fight for my life
Refusing to from this world be forever lost
I was going to face the terrible odds against me
Fighting for my life,no matter what the cost
I remember even now how I felt that day
Silently staring down that long cold hall
I knew what was waiting at the end for me
I wasn't sure if I was yet ready to face it all
Slowly I took my first few steps forward
Feeling so frightened and terribly alone
But I knew this was something I must face
And this moment no longer could I postpone
The walk down that hall seemed to last for hours
Yet I knew only a few minutes had actually passed by
I thought about what was about to happen
It took all my strength not to break down and cry
I finally reached the small office at the end
Taking a deep breath I slowly walked inside
The reality of my situation then hit me
As my emotions I could no longer hide
I stood for a moment looking around
Not quite sure of what I should do
Then I heard a gentle voice say to me
Ma'am are you ok? Can I help you?
I walked slowly over to her small desk
And in a hushed whisper gave her my name
I could see from the look that she gave me
I was no longer able to hide my pain
She led me down to a small white room
Kindly asking me to take a seat in the chair
The terror I felt as I slowly sat down
Never before in my life had I been so scared
She said the doctor would be with me soon
She smiled and said I should try and calm down
But the river of emotions that was raging inside me
Within them I felt as if I were going to drown
Finally the moment I dreaded had arrived
As I heard the doctor walk in
He looked at me and gently smiled
He said Are you ready for us to begin?
I looked at him and calmly nodded
Knowing that now there was no turning back
I looked at the ceiling as they put the needle in my arm
Praying dear God give me the strength that I lack
I sat there staring up blankly at the ceiling
As they put the medicines into my body one by one
Silently praying to God for this moment to be over
When the doctor softly said rest here for now,we are done
I remember the relief that over took me at that moment
He smiled and said you made it through round one
I had taken the first steps of fighting the odds against me
I knew a small victory for myself that day had been won
The weeks slowly dragged into months
I wondered how much longer could this go on
My body and spirit were beginning to weaken
From my own life I was becoming withdrawn
Some days it took every ounce of strength I had
Just to rise and get up from my own bed
Why do I continue to keep fighting,its useless
So many times over and over ran through my head
Yet something inside me refused to give in
To the utter pain and hopelessness I felt
Something inside my heart made me continue to fight
This tragic hand in life I had been dealt
The treatments were taking their toll on my body
As I grew weaker and weaker every day
The headaches,the shaking,the nausea
Please God make it stop,silently each night I prayed
So many times during those frightening nights
I was so certain that this disease had won
I would sit with my head in my hands,weeping softly
So sure my time on this earth was all but done
Yet I would wake up each and every morning
Ready to fight through another long and painful day
Trying to always enjoy the better moments if I could
Hoping some relief and joy would come my way
Just when I though I was at the end of my rope
And of this pain I could surely take no more
My doctor called me and said I need to speak to you
This matter is of extreme importance of this I am sure
I said doctor cant you just tell me now what it is
He replied I would prefer not to do it over the phone
Can you find someone to drive you to my office?
I would prefer if you didnt get this news all alone
At that moment I was certain it was over for me
That I was going to lose the fight for my precious life
I mumbled yes doctor I'll be there as soon as I can
Sorrow and agony cutting through me like a knife
When I arrived at his office I quietly sat thinking
I was sure he would tell me that my fight I had now lost
And that the life I had been trying so hard to save
Is what losing this battle for me would cost
When he called me finally into his office
I said please tell me what is this important news
He replied your tests have come back,its gone dormant
It looks like after all your life you will not lose
I felt my knee's go weak as I gasped
Soon tears started to form in my eyes
After all the long months of pain and worry
My fight I had won I was not going to die
I smiled and said Thank you doctor
As I walked from his office I silently thanked God
He had watched over me through everything
And he had helped me beat my terrible odds
View My Guestbook
![[Flag Campaign icon]](http://a1032.g.akamai.net/f/1032/81/30m/www.gamesville.lycos.com/art_gv/ribbon_small.gif){kind=small}