So if a friend sticks closer than a brother, why do I kiss loneliness?
In loneliness I persist?
In solitude I resist?
As impenetrable as the morning mist my motives are hidden
It's not so much that they are hiding, but not wanting to be found
I don't want to walk down that muggy road
The dark cobblestone path to find my fears and hidden motivations
Because I'm scared of what I chance discovering.
I always end up losing you
That color has painted my life the past handful of years
I meet these amazing people of God, and then connect in this mind-blowing way
Bearing our very souls to each other
Spending hours crying and laughing and praying with each other
Then, quicker than when we came
We are savagely torn apart shortly after
Victims of the cannibal seasons of time
Rain clouds dance above my head satirically
Forcing me to wonder if I'll ever be able to hold onto the people that I love
So now the question begs itself-
Should I waste my time by investing my heart
In another possible bankruptcy of another lost friendship?
I've never been one to let fear capture me, inside a birdcage of deceit
Forcing me to believe the untruth, but I cannot erase the memory
Of being dropkicked by the smile of abandonment
It feels safer not to open myself up at all
Turning my back on positivism, I build a wall of sickness by way of self-imposed exile
Every brick I lay--a rejected friendship
And the mortar I spread is the superficiality I showed
In the stead of pursuing those fulfilling relationships that I burn for
Stonewalling people out-refusing authentic brotherly love
And instead I lovingly embrace a solid dose of hypocrisy and cheap plastic hobby shop masks
So I give in
And as my brow kisses the floor in awe
Fists blossom into open palms, signs of love for you.
Fight the good fight
