Get Bent Dad
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
We spent all day watering the driveway
It didn't even grow an inch
I guess we blew it, but we did our way
When Dad starts swingin' we won't even flinch
Next day finds us mowing the barn yard
We ran down Wilbur and got stuck in his pen
Hungry for lunch we fried up his lard
When Dad gets home we're in trouble again
Now Dad's kicked us out, we're on the street
Raisin' a Ruckus wherever we go
Ever since we tried to grow that concrete
Our Dumbshit brains are at an all time low
Wizards & Warlocks
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
wizards warlocks walking in my garden
planting seeds of fire breathing dragons
YOU'LL PAY
flying dragons underneath my shade tree
land in my hammock stealing all my nap time
YOU'LL PAYY
Buckin' Bronco
(lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog)
Gotta hold on to that buckin' bronco
Gonna tie up a little cowpoke
Kilauea
(Lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog, Miss Mother Kitten)
Kilauea, we've been away-a too long
Kilauea, haven't heard your molten song, in so long
Kilauea, it's time to go
ewwwwwww!@$#%
I Don't Like It When It Rains
(Lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog)
Come on...Right on, right on...Give it to me now
Once upon a time on a rainy day
Kids were stuck inside and couldn't go out to play
So they turned on the Sony Talk & Tape
And this is what they had to say
"I don't like it when it rains"
"I don't like it when it rains, outside"
Tell 'em what it means
The Trouble With Trouble
(Lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog)
Trouble for breakfast, trouble for lunch
I wake up in the morning and I've got a hunch
That there's trouble waitin' for me outside my front door
Becasue I can't remember what I did the night before
The trouble with trouble is it's always bringin' me down
Let's go
I get to work late and I'm in trouble again
As I stroll into work at a quarter past ten
That's two and fifteen that I'm late today
If it happens again I'll be "on my way"
The trouble with trouble is it's always bringin' me down
The moral of this story is that trouble ain't nothin' but trouble
The Power Of KORG
(Lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten)
That's the power of KORG!!!!
One Wild Weekend
(lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog, Miss Mother Kitten, Miss Sister Kitten)
It was Friday night, just about 6 o'clock
the phone started ringin just when we want to rock
What will we do now?
Who could be callin? it's the local dj
callin us up, askin us to play
we pack up our stuff and head to the show
3 miles down and 7 to go
What will we do now?
We rock the show right and we come correct
you might not like us but you oughta respect
we're the hardest workin band that's D-O-S
What will we do now?
8 Months and Counting
(lyrics: Nick Name, Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
8 months in the studio is not so bad
as long as you've got something to show
the drums are mic'd and the bass eq'd
the guitars are ready to go
i've got a song in my head
so let's get to the shed
turn it on
turn it up
turn it loose
Hunt For The Ring
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
The time has come. The fight's begun.
HUNT FOR THE RING!
S.O.A.C.
(lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog, Miss Mother Kitten)
Small town kid growin' up in Puerto Rico
Playin' stickball in the crowded streets
His only hope was leavin'
His only hope was leavin' town
Spirit of a Champion
Willie Hernandez
Hopped a plane up to Detroit
He won it all, He really made it
That's what he gets for believin'
That's what he gets for believin' in himself
Electricity! (The Mother of All Bees)
(lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog, Miss Mother Kitten)
Hot Voltage!
Electricity!
Is the mother of all Bees!
The Rebel Stevie Tuma
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten)
Well the Rebel Stevie Tuma
went to the town of Yuma
Where he picked up some girls
and he picked up some guns
'cause he was lookin' to have some fun
He's always been a hoodlum
And you know he's got to shoot 'em
down to the ground with his cold 45
He's a devil of a man and he'll take your life
Stevie Tuma just doesn't care
And he has long flowing hair
Free mustache rides for the ladies
but the fellas he sends to Hades
Now the Rebel Stevie Tuma
He's meaner than a puma
He's got guns on his hips,
an evil sneer on his lips,
and he's never lost a dual, 'cause he never slips
You could say he's mighty sinister
I saw him gun down a minister
Burn down a church
Shoot an Eagle off its perch
and he didn't even bat an eye
Stevie Tuma just doesn't care
And he has long flowing hair
Free mustache rides for the ladies
but the fellas he sends to Hades
the Rebel Stevie Tuma
the Rebel Stevie Tuma
Ooh, Ooh
He's always been a hoodlum
And you know he's got to shoot 'em
down to the ground with his cold 45
He's a devil of a man and he'll take your life
Well don't you ever cross him
Your future would be very dim
He'd put a hole right between your eyes
and then go make your mama cry
the Rebel Stevie Tuma
the Rebel Stevie Tuma
Ooh, Ooh
Death of a Ledgie
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
Michigan Roadhouse is the place to go
For the finest baked potato
So he went with his ma and pa
Got food poisoned on the cole slaw
It didn't kill him but it messed up his head
Mayonnaise that old should have left him dead
Chorus:
Good Ledgies die hard, but they die young
This is a warning to everyone
He got his Hog at the local dealer
Out in Lansing, down South Cedar
Took his Harley to the tressle down the track
Didn't hear the train, didn't look back
He swerved to the left, dropped toward the Grand
His bike payed the price, but it didn't kill the man
Chorus
He held up Fortino's to get some cash
To fix his bike after the crash
They tripped the alarm, the cops came runnin'
No questions asked, they just started gunnin'
Shot in the arm, he still got away
Now, his bike would see another day
Chorus
Got his bike back late one night
Headed down Willow, the moon was bright
Dead man's curve is a deadly beast
You wouldn't want to mess with it in the least
He took his chance and pushed the throttle to the max
Spun out twice, landed flat on his back
Chorus
He got a job in Lansing at DEQ
Testing soil to keep safe me and you
The bossman was tough with strict deadlines
Ledgie stressed to the max started losing his mind
He took his work to heart and it went to his head
The stress piled on him and he wound up dead
Big city livin' is the death of a Ledgie!
Big city livin' is the death of a Ledgie!
Unpack your bags, 'cause I don't think you're ready!
Big city livin' is the death of a Ledgie
The Crane
(lyrics: Miss Sister Kitten, Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
Well he's standing on the ledge at Lincoln Brick Park
looking at the water, its deep and dark
He and his friends smoked too much dope
but its his turn next, so he takes the rope
He swings into the summer night's air,
tries a backflip 'cause he's too stoned to take care
He hits the water with a mighty smack
He's too drunk now, after drinking that six pack
Now he can't swim at all, what was he thinking
He shouldn't have done all that drinking
He sinks like a rock straight to the bottom
This is what a life of boozin' has got him
He settles to rest on the neck of a crane
That was trapped in the quarry by terrential rains
With fear in their hearts and beer in their brains
The townies cry out this ancient refrain
"The Crane Strikes Again!"
But little do they know that this metal machine
has plans to save the day
With a rumble and a creek it starts to move
to carry this townie from his watery tomb
From high above they can see the crane rise
and it gives them a start and haults their cries
The crane sets the townie on the stoney bank
and back to the bottom it quickly sank
From this day forward all across the land
there'll be a new meaning to that ancient chant
"The Crane Strikes Again!"
And so after years it finally came
That the crane redeemed its long tarnished name
GO BECKY!
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
Go Becky!
D - O - E !
D - O - S !
Go Becky!
Run Hippie, Run
(lyrics: Jackson Collie Dog, Miss Mother Kitten)
Got a job at Eaton County Parks and Recreation
Mowin' grass and cuttin' down trees
Workin' in the sun gettin' no relaxation
Cleanin' toilets and rakin' up leaves
When the sun goes down
Chasin' hippies around
It's closing time the hippies gotta go
Quit smokin' grass and huggin' on trees
Pack up your bags and hit the road
and don't forget your stupid Frisbees
DON'T GET LIPPY HIPPY I'M RUNNIN' THIS SHOW!
Run Hippie Run
Rooster On The Loose
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten)
She made a call
to the parks and recreation
Hoping they could solve
the horror she was facing
It was a mean old fowl
with a bad reputation
When that chicken was on the loose
the trembling neighborhood shook
Yeah, you better watch your goose
or its gonna be cooked
Steve took to his cruiser
with me by his side
For this town
we'd give our lives
We tracked that bird
to Marsh field
But that hell-bent beast
refused to yield
We battled with the fowl
for minutes on end
Bloodied and scarred
neither side giving in
But at the end of it all
the chicken was beat
I had the wings
while Steve had the white meat
Take Out The Trash!
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten)
Garbage bags are in my yard
The garbageman must be lazy
The garbageman he's workin hard
at driving me crazy
Garbageman what's in your head
You need to pick up my garbage
I'd rather see myself dead
Then to live in garbage
Garbageman where are you?
Truth and Miss Mother Kitten
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Miss Sister Kitten)
Hey you people why don't you listen
to the story of Miss Mother Kitten
Wanderin' 'round the park at night
She saw someone that was outta sight
It must have been Mr. Kitten
and right away she was smitten
3 weeks later out came Ms. Sister Kitten
Who didn't stick around? Bye-bye Mr. Kitten
Now, Ms. Mother and Sister Kitten
were wonderin' where they'd be livin'
Then came a man named Steve Tuma
He took them in and fed them tuna
Fitzgerald Park would be thier home now
In a barn or in the woods now
They live happy as can be now
I like to rhyme now with now, now
Ms. Sister Kitten got a job and moved out
Went to college and got the gout
Ms. Mother Kitten, well, she moved on too
Works at the gift shop in Potters Park Zoo
Now, Jackson Collie Dog we forgot to mention
He's just another of Steve Tuma's henchmen
Yeah and Steve Tuma still gets the chicks
Now all y'all dig these hot licks
But we'll always be Drawing On Steve
We'll always be Drawing On Steve
Guitar Girlfriend
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten, Jackson Collie Dog)
She's so uncontrived
She keeps me alive
Spirit in her eyes
And my soul's in the sky
Tellin' you no lie
She's My Guitar Girlfriend
Aura so sweet it's intoxicating
After practice you're always waiting
With beauty and charm, oh so baiting
Watching me play must be exhilarating
She's my guitar girlfriend
In the front row you're always standing
You understand that my music's demanding
It's my heart that you're commanding
Love's abound, our world's expanding
She's my guitar girlfriend
Horns of Hate (A Viking Song)
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten)
Out in the North Sea they go sailing
Horns of Hate is what they're mailing
They land on the shore near a distant village
Men off the boats, they start to pillage
They burn down the village and steal its treasures
This is what a Viking does for pleasure
Men on the boats, they sail away
Murder and thievery, its just another day
Back around the fire drinking mead
Conversing about their dirty deeds
Lovin' in the Afternoon
(lyrics: Miss Mother Kitten)
My baby works at night
I get lovin' in the afternoon
Lovin' me and holdin' me tight
Lovin' in the afternoon
Everybody's got the right
to get lovin' in the afternoon
I don't want to fight
I want lovin' in the afternoon
