A/N: It’s times like this I’m
horribly grateful to the Veritaserum board. I blame the forums entirely for
this small offering. Virtual cookies and a big ol’ grin to
ZQoB. (That’s Zsenya, Queen of Betas.) Oh, and if you think I’ve stolen anything
from Saturday Night Live, you would be absolutely correct.
Fred and
George Weasley surreptitiously glanced at the Slytherin table with a dubious
air. “What d’you think?”
“I have
no idea.”
Katie
Bell chimed in from a few seats away, “Marcus Flint says he – she – it
keeps its things stowed away in a closet off the common room, and it never
comes to bed – sleeps on one of the divans. Some Slytherins do, he says, but
almost never first-years.”
“And
it’s not like these robes show much difference in the sexes,” grumped George.
“Much to
my chagrin,” said Fred, with a wink at Angelina, who promptly poked him with
her fork.
“So are
you two going to do anything?” asked Katie.
Fred and
George looked at each other. “Oh, I think it’s become a matter of Gryffindor
honor.”
“Most definitely.”
“And as
tomorrow is Halloween, we can slip away during the feast and –
” George whispered something to Fred, who promptly started snickering.
“Secrets
are no fun unless you share,” said Angelina sententiously.
The
Weasley twins shared a glance. “Well – ”
“We’ve
tried everything – ”
“Almost
everything – ”
“We’ve
had people spying for us in Slytherin, trying to see which lav the person in
question goes in – ”
“But –
er – the person in question always evades us.”
“The
ghosts have been no help at all.” Fred sounded righteously disgusted.
“And
we’ve tried everything but actual personal contact – ”
“Which,
with our glowing reputations, shouldn’t be too hard – ”
“Since everyone
wants to know how to evade Filch, especially the firsties – ”
“And
we’ve set up an appointment with the person in question tomorrow night for a
bit of a game,” Fred finished.
Katie
said, “A game? What sort of game?”
Fred
snorted. George grinned.
“Strip poker.”
“We honestly
can’t figure out how Blaise Zabini is going to evade answering the
question any longer.”
Katie
and Angelina stared at the twins with dropped jaws. Fred preened. “Brilliant,
isn’t it?”
George
shook Fred’s hand. “An excellent job, Weasley.”
“Why
thank you, Weasley.”
Angelina
said faintly, “You’re going to play strip poker…with Blaise Zabini…to find out
what gender he…she…is?”
“Nothing
else has worked,” pointed out George.
“Well,
you can keep me out of it,” said Katie, getting up from the table. Angelina
followed. “You’ll likely end up in Dumbledore’s office for leading a first-year
astray, and then where will the team be? You know we’ve just found a Seeker,
and there’s no one else in the house who will work as well together as you two
do with the bats.”
Fred
said, “We’ll tell Dumbledore it’s for scientific research. Can’t see how he can
argue with that.”
“And
it’s not like we’re going to go till we’re all starkers – just far enough so we
can tell.”
Angelina said, incredulous, “You don’t think
you’ll actually get a first-year to play strip poker with you?”
Fred
looked insulted. “Angelina Johnson, you underestimate the power of the Weasley
male.”
Katie
shook her head and walked away, calling over her shoulder, “I’d like to see how
the power of the Weasley male fares against a very irate Headmaster!” Angelina
just laughed as she followed Katie.
George
stared after them. “They have so very little faith in us.”
“Rather
horrid.”
“We’ll
just prove them wrong, then. Have you got the cards?”
“I
should certainly think so.”
“Do
they still work?”
“Yes
– as long as one of us deals, the hand should go in our favor.”
“Where
did that chap that Dad got the cards off of work?
“
“D’you
think Dad will notice they’re gone?”
“Probably
not – he likes his plugs and batteries more than cards.”
George
looked thoughtful. “You know, we really ought to send him a present to thank
him for the use of the cards.”
“See
if we can get something off one of the Muggle-borns, maybe?”
“Maybe. Of course, that would mean telling him we’d taken
them.”
“You
know he’d think it’s funny. At any rate, if we get a present, we can send it
along with Ginny’s toilet seat. Shall we continue talking strategy?”
“Nothing
else to do.”
“Except
that Potions essay.”
“Well,
once we’ve found out whether Blaise Zabini is man or maid, we can make our next
project getting Snape to bathe. Might cheer him up.”
~*~
At
the feast the next night, the twins were much amused by the fact that neither
Katie nor Angelina would speak to them.
They
watched Blaise come into the Great Hall, look at the bats swooping around the
jack-o-lanterns floating in the air, and sit at the Slytherin table with a
general mien of anticipation. “Not too much longer now – we may as well enjoy
the feast.”
Harry
and Ron came in and sat next to the twins, starting up a Quidditch conversation
while they waited for the food. When it appeared on the plates in front of
them, all conversation stopped as they tucked in.
Their
meal was interrupted when Professor Quirrell dashed into the hall and stopped
dead at Professor Dumbledore’s chair. They heard him wheeze, “Troll – in the
dungeons – thought you ought to know.” When they saw him sink to the floor, the
twins stood up like the rest of the school to see what was going on.
“Think
we should go wrestle the troll?” yelled George to Fred under the hubbub.
Fred
shook his head and shouted something, but George couldn’t hear him – it was
that loud.
Professor
Dumbledore called, “Prefects, lead your Houses back to the dormitories
immediately!”
They
fell into line behind Percy and went back up to the common room, where they
collapsed on one of the couches with considerable disappointment.
“You
do realize,” said Fred, “we can’t find out now. When are we ever going to have
a chance like today? By next year, Zabini will be too experienced to realize
that we’re always up to no good.”
“The
matter of Blaise Zabini’s gender will remain one of the great mysteries of
Hogwarts,” said George dramatically.
“It
will earn its own chapter in Hogwarts, A History,” predicted Fred.
“There’ll be pages and pages of differing theories of the leading experts in
the matter.”
“But
no one will ever discover the truth – just like that Chamber of Secrets that
Salazar Slytherin was supposed to have.”
“And
we can go down in history as the people who got the closest to figuring it
out.”
They
looked at each other and grinned, somewhat appeased.
“You
do realize,” said Katie Bell’s voice from behind them, “that the easier course
might be simply asking Zabini?”
Angelina
handed each of them a sandwich and a flagon of pumpkin juice and plopped down
next to them. “Really – I would have thought that two fine Weasley males such
as yourselves would be smart enough to figure that out.”
“Oh,
we figured it out easily enough,” said George airily around a mouthful of
sandwich.
Fred
said, draining his flagon, “Honestly, woman – don’t you realize that flat-out
asking spoils the fun?”
Katie
and Angelina looked exasperated; the twins began to laugh.
