Chapter Ten: And the Truth Comes Out!

            “The title of the chapter is The Rogue Bludger,” Harry announced.

            “Those things can get rather nasty,” Sirius muttered, rubbing his jaw in an obviously painful memory. “Very nasty.”

            After much snickering on the part of the people who hadn’t been involved with the painful memory of Sirius’ (which naturally means everyone but Sirius), Harry began reading.

Since the disastrous episode of the pixies, Professor Lockhart had not brought live creatures to class.

            James- Gee, I wonder why.

            Sirius- Me too. I mean, what’s so bad about being thrown out the window?

            James- …

 Instead, he read passages from his books to them, and sometimes reenacted some of the more dramatic bits.

            Sirius- Oh boy.

            James- What?

            Sirius- He can’t reenact them by himself….

            James- Oh boy.

 He usually picked Harry to help him with these reconstructions;

            James- Poor Harry.

            Harry- Yeah, poor me.

 so far, Harry had been forced to play a simple Transylvanian villager whom Lockhart had cured of a Babbling curse, a yeti with a head cold,

            Sirius- Yetis can get colds?

            Remus- Apparently.

 and a vampire who had been unable to eat anything except lettuce

            Sirius- Ugh. Poor vampire.

            Remus- ::frowns:: That’s horrible. Vampires can’t survive without drinking blood. Making it eat nothing but lettuce would eventually destroy it.

            Sirius- Like I said, poor vampire.

 since Lockhart had dealt with him.

Harry was hauled to the front of the class during their very next Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, this time acting a werewolf.

            Remus- ::frowns::

            Sirius- ::snickers::

            Remus- ::smacks Sirius::

            Sirius- Ow! ::rubs his head and glares at Remus::

 If he hadn’t had a very good reason for keeping Lockhart in a good mood, he would have refused to do it.

            Remus- Damn.

            Sirius- ::snickers::

            Remus- ::smacks Sirius::

            Sirius- ::rubs his head:: Would you stop that?

            Remus- No.

            Others- ::snicker::

“Nice loud howl, Harry—exactly—and then, if you’ll believe it, I pounced—like this—slammed him to the floor—

            Sirius- Sounds painful.

            Harry- It would’ve been, had Lockhart been strong enough to overpower a mouse.

            Others- ::snicker::

thus—with one hand, I managed to hold him down—with my other, I put my wand to his throat—

            Remus- Human beings cannot overpower werewolves unless they allow them to.

            Sirius- Really?

            Remus- Really. It’s the same with vampires. They have a supernatural strength that no mere human could hope to overpower.

            Sirius- Cool.

I then screwed up my remaining strength and performed the immensely complex Homorphus Charm—

            Remus- ::looks alarmed:: What’s that? It doesn’t kill the werewolf, does it?

            Harry- No, just temporarily returns to his human state.

            Remus- ::looks relieved::

            Lily- ::looks confused::

he let out a piteous moan—go on, Harry—higher than that—good—the fur vanished—the fangs shrank—

            Remus- The fur doesn’t just vanish, and the fangs don’t just shrink. All the bones break and reform, and it is an immensely painful process.

            Sirius- Nice to know, Rem. Do you think you might spare us the details next time?

            Remus- ::blushes:: Sorry.

            Lily- ::looks thoughtful::

and he turned back into a man. Simple, yet effective—and another village will remember me forever as the hero who delivered them from the monthly terror of werewolf attacks.”

            Remus- I thought you said it was temporary?

            Harry- Er…maybe I was wrong. Now I think about it, maybe it only works properly if done soon after a person’s first bitten or after his first few transformations, and then it’s permanent. I’m not sure… Hermione would know, though.

            Remus- ::sighs:: Oh.

The bell rang and Lockhart got to his feet.

“Homework—compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga Werewolf!

            Remus- Well, gee, that teaches them a lot.

            Sirius- Who cares?

            Lily/Remus- I do!

 Signed copies of Magical Me to the author of the best one!”

            Sirius- Yippee.

            Remus- Can you be a bit more sarcastic?

            Sirius- I could if you want me to.

            Remus- …No. That’s all right.

The class began to leave.  Harry returned to the back of the room, where Ron and Hermione were waiting.

Sirius- Very patiently, seeing as they were busy snogging the hell out of each other.

Harry- Um…no.

Sirius- Are you sure they haven’t realized they’re madly in love with each other yet?

Harry- Trust me, Sirius, I would notice if they were. And they’d tell me. If they were dating, at least.

Sirius- ::sighs:: You should force them to get together when you go back.

Harry- ::sighs:: Yes, of course. I’ll be sure to do that.

“Ready?”

            Sirius- For what?

            James- Sirius, shut up already!

            Sirius- ::pouts::

            Remus- ::snickers::

            Sirius- ::smacks Remus::

            Remus- Ow! ::smacks Sirius back::

            Sirius- ::glares back at Remus for a second before leaping at him::

            Sirius/Remus- ::promptly begin to wrestle on the bed::

            James/Lily/Peter/Harry- ::jump up off the bed and back away from it nervously::

            James- Great. We’ll be here all day at this rate.

            (Some time later)

            Sirius/Remus- ::have stopped wrestling, choosing to snog instead::

            James- ::groans:: Guys! ::pushes Draco off Sirius’ bed, grabs a pillow and throws it at them::

            Draco- ::lands ungracefully on the floor:: Oof!

            Sirius- ::gets with the pillow and he and Remus pull apart::

            Sirius- ::throws the pillow back towards James, but somehow hits Draco in the face instead::

            Draco- Ugh! ::throws the pillow back at Sirius::

            Sirius- ::dodges the pillow::

            Remus- ::gets hit with the pillow and throws it as hard as he can at James::

            James- ::catches the pillow and drops it back on the bed::

            Sirius/Remus- ::pout::

            James/Lily/Peter/Harry- ::snicker as they sit back on the bed::

            Draco- (grumbles) Stupid, idiot Gryffindors and their stupid means of entertainment. ::sits back on Sirius’ bed::

            Harry- Shall I get back to the book now?

            Others but Draco- Yes!

 Harry muttered.

“Wait till everyone’s gone,” said Hermione nervously. “All right…”

She approached Lockhart’s desk, a piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand, Harry and Ron right behind her.

Sirius- Ron staring at her—

Lily- Sirius!

Sirius- What? I was going to say bag, because it had a stain on it! Ugh, get your mind out of the gutter, woman!

James- ::smacks Sirius:: No insulting Lily.

Sirius- ::makes a whipping noise:: Whip it! Whip it good!

Harry/Remus/Peter- ::snicker::

Lily- ::smacks Sirius:: No insulting James.

Sirius- Ow… I feel a migraine coming.

Peter- Do you even know what a migraine is?

Sirius- Yes. But I’m sure it would be completely different in Xanth. (1)

Peter- In where?

Sirius- Forget it. Looooong story.

James- ::snorts:: I’ll say. How many books are in that one?

Remus- Sirius reads?

James- Yeah. Muggle fantasy. Says he gets a kick out of it.

Sirius- Oh, shut up, James. I happen to like those sorts of books—they’re as much fantasy for wizards as they are for Muggles.

James- ::rolls his eyes:: Yes, of course. Perhaps we should return to the book.

Harry- Yes, perhaps we should.

“Er—Professor Lockhart?” Hermione stammered.

            Sirius/James/Remus/Peter- Aww….

 “I wanted to—to get this book out of the library. Just for background reading.”

            Peter- As if she doesn’t do enough of that already.

            Remus- I happen to like reading.

 She held out the piece of paper, her hand shaking slightly. “But the thing is, it’s in the Restricted Section of the library, so I need a teacher to sign for it—I’m sure it would help me understand what you say in Gadding with Ghouls about slow-acting venoms—”

“Ah, Gadding with Ghouls!” said Lockhart, taking the note from Hermione and smiling widely at her. “Possibly my very favorite book. You enjoyed it?”

“Oh, yes,” said Hermione eagerly. “So clever, the way you trapped that last one with the tea-strainer—”

Sirius- You can catch ghouls with a tea-strainer? Awesome! Must get myself one of them.

James- A tea-strainer or a ghoul?

Sirius- Both, of course.

“Well, I’m sure no one will mind me giving the best student of the year a little extra help,” said Lockhart warmly, and he pulled out an enormous peacock quill.

            Remus- Why?

            Sirius- Because he knows Hermione likes him.

            Remus- Ah. Of course.

 “Yes, nice, isn’t it?” he said, misreading the revolted look on Ron’s face.

            Lily- That doesn’t sound like a very easy thing to do.

            Sirius- It isn’t. I’m good at misreading things, so I should know.

            James- I’ll say you’re good at misreading things. You didn’t even think Remus liked you!

            Sirius- Oh, shut up!

            Others- ::snicker::

 “I usually save it for book-signings.”

He scrawled an enormous loopy signature on the note and handed it back to Hermione.

“So, Harry,” said Lockhart, while Hermione folded the note with fumbling fingers and slipped it into her bag. “Tomorrow’s the first Quidditch match of the season, I believe? Gryffindor versus Slytherin, is it not? I hear you’re a useful player. I was a Seeker, too.

Sirius/Remus/James- ::start laughing hysterically::

            Lily- Just keep going, Harry. They’ll be laughing all day.

 I was asked to try for the National Squad,

            Sirius/Remus/James- ::laugh harder::

            Peter- ::breaks into a fit of giggles::

 but preferred to dedicate my life to the eradication of the Dark Forces. Still, if ever you feel the need for a little private training, don’t hesitate to ask.

            Sirius- (gasped out between laughter) What’re you gonna do, teach him how to fall off his broom?

            James- (likewise) That’s about all you’re capable of doing anyway.

            Remus- ::is laughing so hard he can’t even breathe, let alone talk::

 Always happy to pass on my expertise to less able players….”

            Sirius/James- ::somehow manage to laugh even harder::

            Remus- ::is trying to gasp for breath while he laughs::

            Peter- That’s their way of saying nobody could be a better Seeker than you, let alone— ::snorts and breaks back into giggles::

Harry made an indistinct noise in his throat and then hurried off after Ron and Hermione.

Sirius- (gasped between laughter) Before they started snogging again.

“I don’t believe it,” he said as the three of them examined the signature on the note. “He didn’t even look at the book we wanted.”

 “That’s because he’s a brainless git,”

            Lily- ::finally breaks down into giggles::

            Sirius/Remus/James- ::still laughing their arses off::

            Peter- ::still giggling::

            Draco/Harry- ::share a look as if asking each other why they were stuck with the group of idiots before realizing that they’re actually arguing and look away in disgust::

            Draco- ::sighs::

 said Ron. “But who cares, we’ve got what we needed—”

“He is not a brainless git,” said Hermione shrilly as they half ran toward the library.

“Just because he said you were the best student of the year—”

They dropped their voices as they entered the muffled stillness of the library. Madam Pince, the librarian, was a thin, irritable woman who looked like an underfed vulture.

“Moste Potente Potions?” she repeated suspiciously, trying to take the note from Hermione; but Hermione wouldn’t let go.

Sirius/James- ::snort in the middle of their laughter at the same time::

Remus- ::continues laughing as he wipes at his eyes::

Lily/Peter- ::still giggling::

Harry- ::throws up his hands in defeat, puts the book down, and grab a pillow from James’ bed::

Draco- ::grins and grabs a pillow from Sirius’ bed::

Harry- ::glances at Draco:: On three, then?

Draco- ::nods::

Harry- One…two…three!

(Harry hit Remus at the same time Draco hits James, and then Harry hits Peter while Draco hits Sirius. Interestingly enough, they both refuse to hit Lily.)

Sirius/Remus/James/Peter- Hey! ::glare at Draco and Harry before jumping at them::

Draco/Harry- ::both scream and attempt to run from them but Remus grabs Harry and Peter grabs Draco (with Lily’s help)::

Sirius/James- ::pick up the pillows Draco and Harry dropped and begin hitting them furiously with them::

Lily- ::suddenly squeals as James accidentally hits her::

James- Sorry, Lils.

(There is the sudden sound of someone storming up the stairs. Everyone stops for a moment before there is a sudden flurry of activity: Harry dives under James’ bed, Sirius and James throw the pillows back onto their respective beds, Draco grabs the book, and they all (but Harry, of course) crowd onto James’ bed just as the door swings open.)

James’ Mum- What is going on up her?

James/Sirius- What’re you talking about, Mum?

James- ::smacks Sirius::

Sirius- ::sticks his tongue out at James and pouts::

James’ Mum- I heard someone screaming, and—

Peter- ::is mocking James’ mom::

Draco- ::hits Peter in the back of the head with the book::

Peter- ::screams in surprise::

Sirius- ::pulls on Peter’s hair in an attempt to shut him up::

Peter- ::squeals, sounding exactly like Lily did::

James’ Mum- ::sighs in frustration:: Never mind… ::leaves::

James- ::closes the door behind her::

Harry- ::comes out from under the bed:: That was close.

James- You’re telling me. I thought I’d get in trouble for sure. Thanks for hitting Peter, Malfoy.

Draco- ::shrugs uncomfortably and shoves the book in Harry’s hands::

All but Draco- ::look uneasily at each other for a moment before reluctantly coming to a silent agreement::

Harry- Malfoy… maybe we should call a truce.

Draco- ::raises an eyebrow:: A truce?

Harry- Yeah. You know, as long as we’re in this time. No Mudblood comments, no family comments, forget anything we did to antagonize each other in the past (even though a lot of it will come up in the book). Just…act as if we’ve just met.

Draco- ::looks suspicious:: What’s the catch?

Harry- ::looks confused:: Catch?

Draco- There’s always a catch, Potter.

Harry- ::shakes his head:: (under his breath) Slytherins. (in a normal tone) No catch, Malfoy. Well, unless you count that it’s only for while we’re here. ::holds out his hand::(2) So, truce?

Draco- ::stares down at Harry hand for a moment before reaching out and shaking it:: Sure, truce. ::suddenly pulls Harry in close to him::

Sirius- ::takes a threatening step toward them::

James- ::pulls Sirius back, looking…well, serious:: Don’t.

Draco- But before that, I just want to let you know that things would have been much easier if you hadn’t refused.

Harry- ::stares up at Draco, bewildered:: What’re you talking a— ::winces as Draco squeezes his hand hard::

Draco- That first day on the train, remember? I offered you my hand, my friendship. But you refused my offer for a Weasley. If you hadn’t—

Harry- You insulted the first people that I could ever remember liking me. If you hadn’t been such a miserable prat, I would’ve shaken your hand. It’s your own fault.

Draco- ::stares thoughtfully at Harry for a moment before letting go of his hand and backing away:: Fair enough. So, now we’ve got this truce going, shall I call you by your first name or continue using your last?

Harry- First is good, seeing as there’re two Potters in the room. ::shakes his hand out:: Fuck, M—Draco, you’ve got a strong grip.

Draco- ::smirks:: I know. ::pauses:: Sorry about that.

Harry- ::shrugs:: Whatever. Man, this bed is getting crowded.

Remus- (innocently) Don’t worry, Harry, I’m sure Mal—well, I suppose we should call him Draco now—will be able to squeeze in next to you.

Peter/Sirius/James- ::snicker::

Lily/Draco/Harry- ::roll their eyes::

All- ::somehow manage to gather on James’ bed (It’s magic! …Sorry, bad joke.)::

Harry- Uh…where was I?

Draco- Pomfrey tried to take the note from Granger.

Harry- Hermione.

Draco- Whatever.

“I was wondering if I could keep it,” she said breathlessly.

Sirius- ‘Mione and Lockhart, sittin in a tree—

James- ::smacks Sirius:: Shut up already!

Sirius- ::pouts::

“Oh, come on,” said Ron, wrenching it from her grasp and thrusting it at Madam Pince. “We’ll get you another autograph. Lockhart’ll sign anything if it stands still long enough.”

All- ::snicker::

Draco- Sad thing is, it’s true.

Madam Pince held the note up to the light, as though determined to detect a forgery,

            Draco- What for? The staff already knows he’s dumb enough to sign it.

            James- Or so we hope, since half the staff had to teach him.

 but it passed the test. She stalked away between the lofty shelves and returned several minutes later carrying a large and moldy-looking book. Hermione put it carefully into her bag and they left, trying not to walk too quickly or look too guilty.

            Sirius- What would you look guilty for?

            Harry- …

Five minutes later, they were barricaded in Moaning Myrtle’s

            Sirius- Aww, how sweet.

            Harry- Shut up, Sirius.

 out-of-order bathroom once again. Hermione had overridden Ron’s objections by pointing out that it was the last place anyone in their right minds would go,

            Draco- Which obviously doesn’t include you three.

            Harry- We’re not in our right minds, that’s why. If you had been here for the first book, it’d be obvious. Besides I’m related to this guy here, how could I be in my right mind?

            Draco- Ah, of course. I almost forgot about that.

            James- Hey!

 so they were guaranteed some privacy.

            Sirius- ::raises an eyebrow suggestively:: To do what, exactly?

            Others- Ugh! Sirius!

            Sirius- I was joking! Just joking!

 Moaning Myrtle was crying noisily in her stall, but they were ignoring her, and she them.

            Remus- Thank Go—goodness.

            James/Sirius- ::pout::

Hermione opened Moste Potente Potions carefully, and the three of them bent over the damp-spotted pages. It was clear from a glance why it belonged in the Restricted Section.

            Sirius- (as narrator) Each and every page had the word RESTRICTED covering the letters so that it was quite impossible to read a single word of it. With an annoyed sigh, Hermione closed the book and flushed it down Myrtle’s toilet.

                        “Hermione,” Ron said nervously. “That was a library book….”

                        “Who cares?” Hermione retorted, looking disgruntled at the fact that the library had managed to fail her. “It was useless anyway.”

            Remus- Okay, Sirius, enough.

            Sirius- ::pouts:: Awww…I was just getting into it, too.

            Remus- Exactly. I’m sure we don’t want to know what twisted nonsense will come out of you.

            Sirius- ::pouts::

            Others- ::snicker::

 Some of the potions had effects almost too gruesome to think about, and there were some very unpleasant illustrations, which included a man who seemed to have been turned inside out and a witch sprouting several extra pairs of arms out of her head.

            All- ::wince::

            Draco- Ow.

            Sirius- Yeah. But those arms would be useful….

            Others- ::ignore him::

            Sirius- ::pouts::

“Here it is,” said Hermione excitedly

            James- You want arms growing out of your head too? Be my guest.

            Harry- Just count us out of it.

 as she found the page headed The Polyjuice Potion. It was decorated with drawings of people halfway through transforming into other people.

            Sirius- Pleasant.

 Harry sincerely hoped the artist had imagined the looks of intense pain on their faces.

            Sirius- I doubt it.

            Harry- ::winces:: Definitely not.

“This is the most complicated potion I’ve ever seen,”

            Draco- She’s apparently never seen the recipe for the Wolfsbane Potion.

            Remus- The what?

            Draco- Wolfsbane Potion. …Right, you wouldn’t have heard of it. It prevents the …er… insanity and bloodlust that comes when a werewolf transforms on the full moon….

            Remus- ::looks interested:: Fascinating.

            Sirius- Too bad you wouldn’t be able to make it.

            Remus- Shut up, Sirius.

            Lily- That’s it!

            Remus- ::looks nervous:: What’s what?

            Lily- Huh? Oh, nothing. I just had an epiphany is all.

            Remus- ::looks rather suspicious::

            Harry- ::clears his throat:: Um…perhaps I should return to the book now?

            James- ::looks alarmed and glares at Sirius:: Yeah, sure. Go ahead.

            Sirius- (under his breath) Fuck.

 said Hermione as they scanned the recipe. “Lacewing flies, leeches, fluxweed, and knotgrass,” she murmured, running her finger down the list of ingredients. “Well, they’re easy enough, they’re in the student store-cupboard, we can help ourselves…. Oooh, look, powdered horn of a bicorn—don’t know where we’re going to get that—shredded skin of a boomslang—that’ll be tricky too—and of course a bit of whoever we want to change into.”

            All- Ugh.

            Sirius- Which bit, I wonder?

            Lily- Sirius!

            Draco- Don’t worry, you just need hair….

            Harry- How do you know so much about all these potions?

            Draco- (dryly) I’m not Snape’s star student just because I’m a Slytherin and his favorite one to boot.

            Harry- ::flushes:: Oh, right. Sorry.

“Excuse me?” said Ron sharply. “What d’you mean, a bit of whoever we’re changing into. I’m drinking nothing with Crabbe’s toenails in it—”

All- Ugh!

Draco- ::looks slightly sick:: Good thing you only need hairs then.

Harry- And they’re bad enough as it is.

Hermione continued as though she hadn’t heard him.

Sirius- Women are disconcertingly good at that.

Lily- ::glares at Sirius::

Sirius- Well, you are!

“We don’t have to worry about that yet, though, because we add those bits last….”

Ron turned, speechless, to Harry, who had another worry.

“D’you realize how much we’re going to have to steal, Hermione? Shredded skin of a boomslang, that’s definitely no in the students’ cupboard. What’re we going to do, break into Snape’s private stores? I don’t know if this is a good idea….”

Harry- I still don’t know if this is a good idea, and I’ve already gone through it.

Hermione shut the book with a snap.

“Well, if you two are going to chicken out, fine,” she said. There were bright pink patches on her cheeks and her eyes were brighter than usual. “I don’t want to break rules, you know. I think threatening Muggle-borns is far worse than brewing up a difficult potion. But if you don’t want to find out if it’s Malfoy, I’ll go straight to Madam Pince now and hand the book back in—”

Draco- This is too weird.

Harry- Huh?

Draco- Granger convincing you to break rules? It’s horrible.

Harry- Oh, she does plenty of worse things.

Draco- You mean like sm—

Harry- ::slaps a hand over Draco’s mouth:: Quiet, you’ll ruin it for them.

All but Draco/Harry- ::look interested::

“I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be persuading us to break rules,”

            Sirius- ::snickers:: Didn’t know you and Ron though so muck alike.

            Draco- ::looks disgusted::

 said Ron. “All right, we’ll do it. But not toenails, okay?”

“How long will it take to make anyway?” said Harry as Hermione, looking happier, opened the book again.

Draco- Too long for you.

Harry- Definitely.

“Well, since the fluxweed has got to be picked at the full moon,

            Remus- ::glowers::

            Sirius- ::hugs Remus::

 and the lacewings have got to be stewed for twenty-one days…I’d say it’d be ready in about a month, if we can get all the ingredients.”

“A month?” said Ron. “Malfoy

            Draco- ::glowers::

            Harry- ::pats Draco’s head::

            Draco- ::smacks Harry’s hand away:: Stop that.

            Others- ::snicker::

 could have attacked half the Muggle-borns in the school by then!” But Hermione’s eyes narrowed dangerously again, and he added swiftly, “But it’s the best plan we’ve got, so full steam ahead, I say.”

            Draco- Weasley, beaten back by a woman.

            Lily- Hey!

            Harry- In my experience, most women are scarier than Voldemort.

            Peter- ::flinches::

            Lily- ::glowers at Harry and Draco::

            Draco- ::snickers::

However, while Hermione was checking that the coast was clear for them to leave the bathroom, Ron muttered to Harry, “I’ll be a lot less hassle if you can just knock Malfoy off his broom tomorrow.”

Draco- Hey!

Others- ::snicker::

 

Harry

            Sirius- Hey, Harry?

            Harry- Yeah?

            Sirius- Don’t you ever get weirded out reading your own life from a book?

            Harry- ::gives Sirius a weird look:: Yeah, but I get even more weirded out every time you open your mouth.

            All but Sirius- ::snicker::

            Sirius- ::pouts:: Meany.

 woke early on Saturday morning and lay for a while thinking about the coming Quidditch match. He was nervous, mainly at the thought of what Wood would say if Gryffindor lost,

            James- Like they would.

            Draco- ::frowns::

 but also at the idea of facing a team mounted on the fastest racing brooms gold could buy.

            Sirius- But, hey, you’re a better flyer than the lot of them anyway, so no pressure, eh?

            Draco- ::glares at Sirius::

            Sirius- ::smiles innocently::

 He had never wanted to beat Slytherin so badly.

            Draco- (in a very sulky way) Gee, thanks.

            Harry- Well, hey, it was true….

            Draco- ::pouts::

            Harry- ::snickers:: You’re pouting, Malfoy.

            Draco- ::looks scandalized:: I am not!

            Harry- You most certainly are.

            Draco- ::pouts more::

            Others- ::snicker::

 After half an hour of lying there with his insides churning,

            Sirius- And trying to break free of their confines….

 he got up, dressed, and went down to breakfast early, where he found the rest of the Gryffindor team huddled at the long, empty table, all looking uptight and not speaking much.

            Lily- But they were eating, weren’t they?

            Harry- Of course they were.

As eleven o’clock approached, the whole school started to make its way down to the Quidditch stadium. It was a muggy sort of day with a hint of thunder in the air.

            Sirius- What else is new?

            Draco- That you’re an idiot.

            Sirius- I mean besides tha—Hey!

            Others- ::snicker::

 Ron and Hermione came hurrying over to wish Harry good luck as he entered the locker rooms. The team pulled on their scarlet Gryffindor robes, then sat down to listen to Wood’s usual pre-match pep talk.

            Draco- Always wondered what you did in there before you came out.

            Harry- You don’t get pep talks?

            Draco- Of course we do. “Get out there and kick some Gryffindor arse! Do everything you can to win! And don’t you dare screw up!”

            Harry- Well, gee, that’s cheerful.

            Draco- We’re not a very cheerful group, as you may imagine.

“Slytherin has better brooms than us,”

            Draco- ::smirks:: Damn straight we do. Or did, at least. ::glares at Harry::

            Harry- ::smiles innocently::

 he began. “No point denying it. But we’ve got better people on our brooms.

            Draco- Hey now!

            Harry- We do.

            Draco- …

 We’ve trained harder than they have, we’ve been flying in all weathers—” (“Too true,” muttered George Weasley. “I haven’t been properly dry since August”)

            Draco- Well, that certainly explains a lot.

            Harry- ::elbows Draco:: (3)

            Draco- Ow! ::rubs his side and glares at Harry::

 “—and we’re going to make them rue the day they let that little bit of slime, Malfoy, buy his way onto their team.”

            Draco- ::growls:: I didn’t buy my way onto the team. I made a better Seeker than anyone else did.

            Harry- They must all be pretty bad players, then. How do they beat Hufflepuff?

            Draco- ::elbows Harry::

            Harry- ::winces, but snickers::

Chest heaving with emotion, Wood turned to Harry.

“It’ll be down to you, Harry, to show them that a Seeker has to have something more than a rich father.

            Draco- ::pouts again:: I do.

            Harry- Stop pouting.

 Get to that Snitch before Malfoy or die trying, Harry, because we’ve got to win today, we’ve got to.”

“So no pressure, Harry,”

            Draco- Argh!

            Others- ::snicker::

 said Fred, winking at him.

As they walked out onto the pitch, a roar of noise greeted them; mainly cheers, because Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were anxious to see Slytherin beaten,

            Draco- (sarcastically) My, aren’t we a popular House.

            Harry- Extremely.

 but the Slytherins in the crowd made their boos and hisses heard, too. Madam Hooch, the Quidditch teacher, asked Flint and Wood to shake hands, which they did, giving each other threatening stares and gripping rather harder than was necessary.

            Draco- Which happens when two lovers must face each other on the battlefield. ::sighs in an obviously fake, wistful way::

            Others- Ugh! Gross!

            Harry- ::looks sick:: Thanks for that lovely image, Draco.

            Draco- ::grins:: Hey, no problem.

“On my whistle,” said Madam Hooch. “Three…two…one…”

With a roar from the crowd to speed them upward, the fourteen players rose toward the leaden sky. Harry flew higher than any of them, squinting around for the Snitch.

“All right there, Scarhead?”

            Draco- Do I really use such crap insults?

            Harry- ::nods::

            Draco- Damn. I’ll have to work on them then.

            Harry- ::rolls his eyes::

 yelled Malfoy, shooting underneath him as though to show off the speed of his broom.

Harry had no time to reply. At that very moment, a heavy black Bludger came pelting toward him; he avoided it so narrowly that he felt it ruffle his hair as it passed.

All- ::wince::

Draco- Missed that one.

“Close one, Harry!” said George, streaking past him with his club in his hand,

            Draco- Obviously.

 ready to knock the Bludger back toward the Slytherin. Harry saw George give the Bludger a powerful whack in the direction of Adrian Pucey, but the Bludger changed direction in midair and shot straight for Harry again.

            James- What the—

Harry dropped quickly to avoid it, and George managed to hit it hard toward Malfoy.

            Draco- ::pouts yet again::

 Once again, the Bludger swerved like a boomerang and shot at Harry’s head.

Harry put on a burst of speed and zoomed toward the other end of the pitch. He could hear the Bludger whistling along behind him. What was going on? Bludgers never concentrated on one player like this; it was their job to try and unseat as many people as possible….

Fred Weasley was waiting for the Bludger at the other end. Harry ducked as Fred swung at the Bludger with all his might; the Bludger was knocked off course.

“Gotcha!” Fred yelled happily, but he was wrong; as though it was magnetically attracted to Harry,

            Draco- Like everything else in the world seems to be. Unfortunately.

            Harry- ::elbows Draco::

 the Bludger pelted after him once more and Harry was forced to fly off at full speed.

It had started to rain; Harry felt heavy drops fall onto his face, splattering onto his glasses. He didn’t have a clue what was going on in the rest of the game until he heard Lee Jordan, who was commentating, say, “Slytherin lead, sixty points to zero—”

Draco- ::smirks::

The Slytherins’ superior brooms were clearly doing their jobs, and meanwhile the mad Bludger was doing all it could to knock Harry out of the air. Fred and George were now flying so close to him on either side that Harry could see nothing at all except their flailing arms and had no chance to look for the Snitch, let alone catch it.

Draco- (grumbles) Wish they’d kept it up.

Harry- ::elbows Draco again::

“Someone’s—tampered—with—this—Bludger—” Fred grunted, swinging his bat with all his might at it as it launched a new attack of Harry.

“We need time out,” said George, trying to signal to Wood and stop the Bludger breaking Harry’s nose at the same time.

Wood had obviously got the message. Madam Hooch’s whistle rang out and Harry, Fred, and George dived for the ground, still trying to avoid the mad Bludger.

“What’s going on?” said Wood as the Gryffindor team huddled together, while Slytherins in the crowd jeered. “We’re being flattened. Fred, George, where were you when that Bludger stopped Angelina scoring?”

“We were twenty feet above her, stopping the other Bludger from murdering Harry, Oliver,” said George angrily. “Someone’s fixed it—it won’t leave Harry alone. It hasn’t gone for anyone else all game. They Slytherins must have done something to it.”

Draco- Why is everything blamed on us?

Harry- Because we don’t like you.

Sirius- And you’re the only House that would try to sabotage your competition.

Harry- ::looks as if he’s fighting with himself not to say anything::

Draco- ::sighs:: Go ahead, Harry. Get it out.

Harry- ::shakes his head:: No. The truce says no commenting on anything we did to antagonize each other.

Draco- So?

Harry- ::ignores Draco::

“But the Bludgers have been locked in Madam Hooch’s office since our last practice, and there was nothing wrong with them then….” said Wood, anxiously.

Madam Hooch was walking toward them. Over her shoulder, Harry could see the Slytherin team jeering and pointing in his direction.

Draco- And why do you assume we’re all laughing at you?

Harry- Because I’m used to people laughing at me.

Draco- What?

Harry- Forget it.

“Listen,” said Harry as she came nearer and nearer, “with you two flying around me all the time the only way I’m going to catch the Snitch is if it flies up my sleeve.

            Draco- That would be rather useful.

            Harry- Especially for you, huh?

            Draco- ::elbows Harry::

 Go back to the rest of the team and let me deal with the rogue one.”

“Don’t be thick,” said Fred. “It’ll take your head off.”

Lily- You’re too much like James, Harry.

Harry- I know. ::grins:: But I’ll take that as a compliment.

Wood was looking from Harry to the Weasleys.

“Oliver, this is insane,” said Alicia Spinnet angrily. “You can’t let Harry deal with that thing on his own. Let’s ask for an inquiry—”

Sirius- And forfeit the match?

Remus- Never! We couldn’t allow it!

Draco- How would you stop it?

James- I’ve got a time hole in my room, I can figure out how to reverse it.

“If we stop now, we’ll have to forfeit the match!” said Harry. “And we’re not losing to Slytherin just because of a crazy Bludger! Come on, Oliver, tell them to leave me alone!”

Sirius- Yeah, leave him alone!

Remus- Let him get his head taken off!

Lily- REMUS!

Remus- I’m kidding, I’m kidding! ::hides behind Sirius:: Don’t hurt me!

Others- ::snicker::

“This is all your fault,” George said angrily to Wood. “‘Get the Snitch or die trying,’ what a stupid thing to tell him—”

Madam Hooch had joined them.

“Ready to resume play?” she asked Wood.

Wood looked at the determined look on Harry’s face.

“All right,” he said. “Fred, George, you heard Harry—leave him alone and let him deal with the Bludger on his own.”

The rain was falling more heavily now. On Madam Hooch’s whistle, Harry kicked hard into the air and heard the telltale whoosh of the Bludger behind him. Higher and higher Harry climbed; he looped and swooped, spiraled, zigzagged, and rolled.

            Draco- This really explains a lot.

            Harry- What?

            Draco- I’d been wondering why you were doing that. I thought you were just being stupid.

            Harry- ::looks disgruntled:: Gee, thanks. I’m flattered.

            Draco- ::grins:: Any time.

 Slightly dizzy, he nevertheless kept his eyes wide open, rain was speckling his glasses and ran up his nostrils as he hung upside down, avoiding another fierce dive from the Bludger. He could hear laughter from the crowd; he knew he must look very stupid, but the rogue Bludger was heavy and couldn’t change direction as quickly as Harry could; he began a kind of roller-coaster ride around the edges of the stadium, squinting through the silver sheets of rain to the Gryffindor goal posts, where Adrian Pucey was trying too get past Wood—

            Sirius- And failing miserably.

            Remus- We hope.

A whistling in Harry’s ear told him the Bludger had just missed him again; he turned right over and sped in the opposite direction.

“Training for the ballet, Potter?” yelled Malfoy as Harry was forced to do a stupid kind of twirl in midair to dodge the bludger, and he fled, the Bludger trailing a few feet behind him; and then, glaring back at Malfoy in hatred,

            Draco- Aww, I never knew you cares so much, Harry!

            Harry- Neither did I.

 he saw it—the Golden Snitch. It was hovering inches above Malfoy’s left ear—and Malfoy, busy laughing at Harry, hadn’t even seen it.

For an agonizing moment, Harry hung in midair, not daring to speed toward Malfoy in case he looked up and saw the Snitch.

Draco- (mutters so nobody can hear him) I wouldn’t have been too interested in the Snitch right then anyway.

Remus- ::stares at Draco:: What was that?

Draco- Nothing!

WHAM.

Sirius- ::jumps:: HARRY! Why’d you have to start doing that too!?

Harry- ::grins:: Do I really need to answer that?

Sirius- ::glares furiously at Harry::

He had stayed still a second too long. The Bludger had hit him at last, smashed into his elbow, and Harry felt his arm break. Dimly, dazed by the searing pain in his arm, he slid sideways on his rain-drenched broom, one knew still crooked over it, his right arm dangling useless at his side—the Bludger came pelting back for a second attack, this time aiming at his face—Harry swerved out of the way, one idea firmly lodged in his numb brain: get to Malfoy.

Sirius- Aww…how sweet.

Remus- ::smacks Sirius:: Shut up, you moron.

Sirius- ::pouts:: Well, excuse me for having an imagination.

Through a haze of rain and pain he dived for the shimmering, sneering face

            Draco- Shimmering?

            James- ::sighs:: (In a mock-motherly voice) Have you been playing with the glitter again, Draco?

            Draco- (mock whining) It wasn’t my fault, this time! Blaise dumped it all over me again!

 below him and saw its eyes widen with fear: Malfoy thought Harry was attacking him.

“What the—” he gasped, careening out of Harry’s way.

Harry took his remaining hand off his broom and made a wild snatch; he felt his fingers close on the cold Snitch but was now only gripping the broom with his legs, and there was a yell from the crowd below as he headed straight for the ground, trying hard not to pass out.

With a splattering thud he hit the mud and rolled of his broom. His arm was hanging at a very strange angle; riddled with pain, he heard, as though from a distance, a good deal of whistling and shouting. He focused on the Snitch clutched in his good hand.

“Aha,” he said vaguely. “We’ve won.”

Draco- Harry Potter: Master of Obviousness.

Harry- ::grins cheekily:: I try my best.

And he fainted.

He came around, rain falling on his face, still lying on the field, with someone leaning over him. He saw a glitter of teeth.

Peter/Remus/Sirius/James- Oh no, not him.

“Oh, no, not you,”

            Draco/Harry/Lily- ::snicker::

 he moaned.

“Doesn’t know what he’s saying,” said Lockhart loudly to the anxious crowd of Gryffindors pressing around them. “Not to worry, Harry, I’m about to fix your arm.”

“No!” said Harry. “I’ll keep it like this, thanks….”

Remus- ::winces:: I don’t really blame you.

He tried to sit up, but the pain was terrible. He heard a familiar clicking noise nearby.

“I don’t want a photo of this, Colin,” he said loudly.

“Lie back, Harry,” said Lockhart soothingly. “It’s a simple charm I’ve used countless times—”

Sirius- (finishing Lockhart’s sentence) But to no great extent, I’m afraid.

“Why can’t I just go to the hospital wing?” said Harry through clenched teeth.

“He should really, Professor,” said a muddy Wood, who couldn’t help grinning even though his Seeker was injured.

            Draco- And you say Slytherins are bad.

            Sirius- You are.

 “Great capture, Harry, really spectacular, your best yet, I’d say—”

            Remus- I don’t know, I thought that first one was pretty good.

            James- Hope they washed off the Snitch after the game.

            Draco- Ugh. Me too.

Through the thicket of legs around him, Harry spotted Fred and George Weasley, wrestling the rogue Bludger into a box. It was still putting up a terrific fight.

“Stand back,” said Lockhart, who was rolling up his jade-green sleeves.

“No—don’t—” said Harry weakly, but Lockhart was twirling his wand and a second later had directed it straight at Harry’s arm.

A strange and unpleasant sensation started at Harry’s shoulder and spread all the way down to his fingertips. It felt as though his arm was being deflated. He didn’t dare look at what as happening. He had shut his eyes, his face turned away from his arm, but his worst fears were realized as the people above him gasped and Colin Creevey began clicking away madly. His arm didn’t hurt anymore—nor did it feel remotely like an arm.

Sirius- I don’t like where this is going….

Draco- Me neither. This part was rather gross, I think.

Harry- Ugh. I’ll say.

“Ah,” said Lockhart. “Yes. Well, that can sometimes happen. But the point is, the bones are no longer broken. That’s the thing to bear in mind. So, Harry, just toddle up to the hospital wing—ah, Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, would you escort him?—and Madam Pomfrey will be able to—er—tidy you up a bit.”

As Harry got to his feet, he felt strangely lopsided. Taking a deep breath he looked down at his right side. What he saw nearly made him pass out again.

Poking out of the end of his robes was what looked like a thick, flesh-colored rubber glove. He tried to move his finger. Nothing happened.

Lockhart hadn’t mended Harry’s bones. He had removed them.

James- Remind me to kick Lockhart’s arse in advance when we get back to school.

Sirius/Remus/Peter/Lily- Only if we can help.

James- Duh.

 

Madam Pomfrey wasn’t at all pleased.

Harry- Neither was I, come to think of it.

“You should have come straight to me!”

            Sirius- Oh, he tried.

            Remus- Believe us, he tried.

 she raged, holding up the sad, limp remainder of what, half an hour before, had been a working arm. “I can mend bones in a second—but growing them back—”

            Remus- Is a very nasty business, really. ::pauses:: Though I’ve never gone through it.

            Sirius- Don’t know anyone that has.

            Harry- Well, now you do.

“You will be able to, won’t you?” said Harry desperately.

“I’ll be able to, certainly, but it will be painful,” said Madam Pomfrey grimly, throwing Harry a pair of pajamas. “You’ll have to stay the night….”

Remus- Oh joy.

Hermione waited outside the curtain drawn around Harry’s bed while Ron helped him into his pajamas.

            Sirius- Repressing…repressing…repressing…

            Harry- Ugh! Sirius! ::wacks Sirius in the head with the book::

            Sirius- Ow! Stop hitting me, people!

            James- ::smacks Sirius::

            Peter- ::smacks Sirius::

            Sirius- Owwww! ::looks tearfully to Remus:: Help.

            Remus- ::rolls his eyes:: It’s all right, Siri. We all love you. ::pulls Sirius into a hug::

            James- Group hug! ::grabs onto Remus and Sirius::

            Peter- ::joins the hugging as well::

            Sirius- Aww…. I love you guys!

            Harry/Draco/Lily- ::look at each other strangely::

            Draco- I know you can be kind of weird, Harry… but are you sure you’re related to this guy?

            Harry- Unfortunately. …I’ll just get back to reading now, shall I?

            Draco- Please.

 It took a while to stuff the rubbery, boneless arm into a sleeve.

“How can you stick up for Lockhart now, Hermione, eh?” Ron called through the curtain as he pulled Harry’s limp fingers through the cuff. “If Harry had wanted deboning he would have asked.”

“Anyone can make a mistake,” said Hermione. “And it doesn’t hurt anymore, does it, Harry?”

“No,” said Harry, getting into bed. “But it doesn’t do anything else either.”

As he swung himself onto the bed, his arm flapped pointlessly.

Sirius- I think it’s making a very good point.

Remus- And shouldn’t it flop pointlessly?

Draco- The author just wanted to be different.

Hermione and Madam Pomfrey came around the curtain. Madam Pomfrey was holding a large bottle of something labeled Skele-Gro.

Remus- ::makes a face:: That’s supposed to be really gross….

Harry- It is.

“You’re in for a rough night,” she said, pouring out a steaming beakerful and handing it to him. “Regrowing bones is a nasty business.”

So was taking the Skele-Gro. It burned Harry’s mouth and throat as it went down, making him cough and sputter. Still tut-tutting about dangerous sports

            Sirius- But they’re fun!

            James/Remus/Draco/Harry- ::nod enthusiastically::

 and inept teachers,

            Lily- (grumbles) I’ll say.

 Madam Pomfrey retreated, leaving Ron and Hermione to help Harry gulp down some water.

“We won, though,” said Ron, a grin breaking his face. “That was some catch you made. Malfoy’s face…he looked ready to kill….”

Draco- I was.

“I want to know how he fixed that Bludger,”

            Draco- (grumbles) Everything gets blamed on me, doesn’t it?

            Harry- It’s only because we love you.

            Others- ::snort::

 said Hermione darkly.

“We can add that to the list of questions we’ll ask him when we’ve taken the Polyjuice Potion,” said Harry, sinking back onto his pillows. “I hope it tastes better than this stuff….”

“If it’s got bits of Slytherins in it? You’ve got to be joking,”

            Draco- Owing to the fact that it’s Crabbe, and Goyle, I totally agree.

            Harry- But if it was you, you’d complain.

            Draco- Naturally.

 said Ron.

The door of the hospital wing burst open at that moment. Filthy and soaking wet, the rest of the Gryffindor team had arrived to see Harry.

Draco- Oh boy.

Harry- Shut up, Draco.

“Unbelievable flying, Harry,” said George. “I’ve just seen Marcus Flint yelling at Malfoy. Something about having the Snitch on top of his hand and not noticing. Malfoy didn’t seem too happy.”

Draco- ::growls::

The had brought cakes, sweets, and bottles of pumpkin juice; they gathered around Harry’s bed and were just getting started on what promised to be a good party

            Draco- What is with Gryffindors and parties?

            Harry- They’re fun.

            Draco- ::looks doubtful:: If you say so.

 when Madam Pomfrey came storming over, shouting, “This boy needs rest, he’s got thirty-three bones to regrow! Out! OUT!”

And Harry was left alone, with nothing to distract him from the stabbing pains in his limp arm.

 

Hours and hours later, Harry woke quite suddenly in the pitch blackness and gave a small yelp of pain: His arm now felt full of large splinters. For a second, he thought that was what had woken him. Then, with a thrill of horror, he realized that someone was sponging his forehead in the dark.

“Get off!” he said loudly, and then, “Dobby!”

Draco- Dobby? What the hell is Dobby doing in the Infirmary?

Sirius- You know him?

Draco- I should. He’s my house-elf. So what the hell is he doing there!?

Harry- Trying to kill me.

Draco- …But he likes you!

Harry- How do you know that?

Draco- ::scowls:: I overheard. Now get back to reading.

Others- ::snicker::

The house-elf’s goggling tennis ball eyes were peering at Harry through the darkness. A single tear was running down his long, pointed nose.

Sirius- Aw… Poor Dobby….

“Harry Potter came back to school,” he whispered miserably. “Dobby warned and warned Harry Potter. Ah sir, why didn’t you heed Dobby? Why didn’t Harry Potter go back home when he missed the train?”

Sirius- Because he’s too smar—wait, how’d he know you missed the train!?

Harry heaved himself up on his pillows and pushed Dobby’s sponge away.

“What’re you doing here?” he said. “And how did you know I missed the train?”

Dobby’s lip trembled and Harry was seized by a sudden suspicion.

“It was you!” he said slowly. “You stopped the barrier from letting us through!”

“Indeed yes, sir,”

            James- ::gasps:: It was him!

            Sirius- Kill the house-elf!(4)

            Harry/Draco- Oh, shut up, you two. ::look at each other, surprised::

 said Dobby, nodding his head vigorously, ears flapping. “Dobby hid and watched for Harry Potter and sealed the gateway and Dobby had to iron his hands afterward”—he showed Harry ten long, bandaged fingers—“But Dobby didn’t care, sir, for he though Harry Potter was safe and never did Dobby dream that Harry Potter would get to school another way!”

He was rocking backward and forward, shaking his ugly head.

“Dobby was so shocked when he heard Harry Potter was back at Hogwarts, he let his master’s dinner burn.

            Draco- ::frowns:: I remember that. What a crap dinner.

            Others- ::snicker::

 Such a flogging Dobby never had, sir….”

Harry slumped back onto his pillows.

“You nearly got Ron and me expelled,” he said fiercely. “You’d better get lost before my bones come back, Dobby, or I might strangle you.”

Draco- ::snorts:: Like that’ll work.

Harry- My father’s. Don’t go blaming the house-elf on me too.

Dobby smiled weakly.

“Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home.”

He blew his nose on a corner of the filthy pillowcase he wore, looking so pathetic that Harry felt his anger ebb away in spite of himself.

Sirius- You’re too nice, Harry.

Harry- Not like I can help it.

“Why d’you wear that thing, Dobby?” he asked curiously.

“This, sir?” said Dobby, plucking at the pillowcase. “’Tis a mark of the house-elf’s enslavement, sir. Dobby can only be freed if his masters present him with clothes, sir. The family is careful not to pass Dobby even a sock, sir, for then he would be free to leave their house forever.”

Dobby mopped his bulging eyes and said suddenly,” Harry Potter must go home! Dobby thought his Bludger

            Sirius/Remus/James/Lily- His Bludger!

            Sirius- Kill the house-elf!

            Harry/Draco- Oh, shut up!

 would be enough to make—”

“Your Bludger?” said Harry, anger rising once more. “What d’you mean, your Bludger? You made that Bludger try and kill me?”

“Not kill you, sir, never kill you!”

            Sirius- ::growls:: Coulda fooled me.

 said Dobby, shocked. “Dobby wants to save Harry Potter’s life! Better sent home, grievously injured, than remain here, sir! Dobby only wanted Harry Potter hurt enough to be sent home!”

“Oh, is that all?” said Harry angrily. “I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you wanted me sent home in pieces?”

“Ah, if Harry Potter only knew!” Dobby groaned, more tears dripping onto his ragged pillowcase. “If he knew what he means to us, to the lowly, the enslaved, we dregs of the magical world! Dobby remembers how it was when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was at the height of his powers, sir! We house-elfs

            Remus- House-elves.

            Others- Huh?

            Remus- Huh?

            Sirius- Did you hear what you just said?

            Remus- …I said something?

            Others- …

            James- Never mind. Just read, Harry.

            Harry- Yeah, sure.

 were treated like vermin, sir! Of course, Dobby is still treated like that, sir,” he admitted, drying his face on the pillowcase. “But mostly, sir, life has improved for my kind since you triumphed over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Harry Potter survived, and the Dark Lord’s power was broken, and it was a new dawn, sir, and Harry Potter shone like a beacon of hope for those of us who though the Dark days would never end, sir…. And now, at Hogwarts, terrible things are to happen, are perhaps happening already, and Dobby cannot let Harry Potter stay her now that history is to repeat itself, now that the Chamber of Secrets is open once more—”

Dobby froze, horrorstruck, then grabbed Harry’s water jug from his bedside table and cracked it over his own head, toppling out of sight. A second later, he crawled back onto the bed, cross-eyes, muttering, “Bad Dobby, very bad Dobby…”

“So there is a Chamber of Secrets?” Harry whispered. “And—did you say it’s been opened before? Tell me, Dobby!”

He seized the elf’s bony wrist as Dobby’s hand inched toward the water jug. “But I’m not Muggle-born—how can I be in danger from the Chamber?”

“Ah, sir, ask no more, ask no more of poor Dobby,” stammered the elf, his eyes huge in the dark. “Dark deeds are planned in this place, but Harry Potter must not be here when they happen—go home, Harry Potter, go home. Harry Potter must not meddle in this, sir, ‘tis too dangerous—”

“Who is it, Dobby?” Harry said, keeping a firm hold on Dobby’s wrist to stop him from hitting himself with the water jug again. “Who’s opened it? Who opened it last time?”

“Dobby can’t, sir, Dobby can’t, Dobby mustn’t tell!” squealed the elf. “Go home, Harry Potter, go home!”

“I’m not going anywhere!” said Harry fiercely. “One of my best friends is Muggle-born; she’ll be first in line if the Chamber really has been opened—”

“Harry Potter risks his own life for his friends!” moaned Dobby in a kind of miserable ecstasy. “So noble! So valiant!

            Draco- ::snorts::

            Harry- ::elbows Draco::

 But he must save himself, he must, Harry Potter must not—”

Dobby suddenly froze, his bat ears quivering. Harry heard it, too. There were footsteps coming down the passageway outside.

“Dobby must go!” breathed the elf, terrified. There was a loud crack, and Harry’s fist was clenched on thin air. He slumped back into bed, his eyes on the dark doorway to the hospital wing as the footsteps drew nearer.

Next moment, Dumbledore was backing into the dormitory, wearing a long wooly dressing gown and a nightcap. He was carrying one end of what looked like a statue. Professor McGonagall appeared a second later, carrying its feet. Together, they heaved it onto a bed.

Sirius- The statue must be awfully tired, this late at night.

“Get Madam Pomfrey,” whispered Dumbledore, and Professor McGonagall hurried past the end of Harry’s bed out of sight. Harry lay quite still, pretending to be asleep. He heard urgent voices, and then Professor McGonagall swept back into view, closely followed by Madam Pomfrey, who was pulling a cardigan on over her nightdress. He heard a sharp intake of breath.

“What happened?” Madam Pomfrey whispered to Dumbledore, bending over the statue on the bed.

“Another attack,” said Dumbledore. “Minerva found him on the stairs.”

“There was a bunch of grapes next to him,” said Professor McGonagall. “We think he was trying to sneak up here to visit Potter.”

Harry’s stomach gave a horrible lurch. Slowly and carefully, he raised himself a few inches so he could look at the statue on the bed. A ray of moonlight lay across its staring face.

It was Colin Creevey. His eyes were wide and his hands were stuck up in front of him, holding his camera.

“Petrified?” whispered Madam Pomfrey.

“Yes,” said Professor McGonagall. “But I shudder to think…If Albus hadn’t been on the way downstairs for hot chocolate—who knows what might have—”

The three of them stared down at Colin. Then Dumbledore leaned forward and wrenched the camera out of Colin’s rigid grip.

“You don’t think he managed to get a picture of his attacker?” said Professor McGonagall eagerly.

Dumbledore didn’t answer. He opened the back of the camera.

“Good gracious!” said Madam Pomfrey.

A jet of steam had hissed out of the camera. Harry, three beds away, caught the acrid smell of burnt plastic.

“Melted,” said Madam Pomfrey wonderingly. “All melted…”

“What does this mean, Albus?” Professor McGonagall asked urgently.

“It means,” said Dumbledore, “That the Chamber of Secrets is indeed open again.”

Madam Pomfrey clapped a hand to her mouth. Professor McGonagall stared at Dumbledore.

“But, Albus…surely…who?”

“The question is not who,” said Dumbledore, his eyes on Colin. “The question is, how….”

And from what Harry could see of Professor McGonagall’s shadowy face, she didn’t understand this any better than he did.

Harry- ::grumbles:: Nobody could.

James- Dumbledore’s got a way with words, hasn’t he?

Draco- I’ll say.

Harry- Oh, shut up.

Draco- What?

James’ Mum- (from God-Knows-Where) Kids! Lunch!

Boys except Draco- YES!

Sirius- We’ll bring something back up for you, Harry!

James- Yeah, see ya!

Everyone but Draco and Harry- ::run out of the room, somehow managing not to get stuck in the doorway::

Draco- … ::walks out of the room like he normally walks::

Harry- ::sighs and slumps down on James’ bed to take a little nappie (insert cute chibi image here ^-^)::

 

 

(1)Xanth- Fictional place that connects to the real world (Mundania), and is in the shape of Florida. Series is written by Piers Anthony, another of my all-time favorite authors.

(2)I’ve got a thing for putting them in the hand-shaking situation. It also appears in my poem I Hear a Dragon Cry, and I’m sure in one or more of my fics. I just can’t seem to remember which. The irony of it never loses its amusement for me. ^^;

(3)I’ve also got a thing for making people elbow Draco. For some reason, I don’t think people would live very long if they smacked him in the back of the head, for all that they might mess up his hair. ^-^

(4)Why does this bring to mind the movie Hook? Sirius- Kill the house-elf! Dobby- Dobby not that kind of elf! ^^;

(5)Yes, I’m aware there was no five in there. I just thought I’d mention that I was listening to Miracle by Vertical Horizon when I was doing the truce scene, and it seemed to fit really well for some reason. ^^; It’s a lovely song, by the way. One of my faves. ^-^

(6)No six either, I know. I also know that everyone seems to be taking Draco’s addition rather easily. Give me a break, this is supposed to be humor, not reality. I swear, all realistic things are accidental! Besides, I need them for the AU at the end, which will be serious. I hope. (Do you know I accidentally typed “sirius” instead of “serious”? Man, I’m losing it.

(7)And the final number (which coincidentally, is also not up there. Amazing.) How would you people feel if I added Destiny (the OC friend of Sirius’ from the U.S.) in for the third book? If I don’t, I’ll probably take out Harry and Draco at the end of this one, but if she comes in, I’ll take them out either halfway through the third or at the end of the third. I’ll only put her in if lots of people say yes, because I don’t want to scare you people away from your entertainment.

(8)Wait, that wasn’t the last number. For my dearest Sevvie fans, I’m thinking of putting MWPP era-him in for the forth book. ::smirks:: I’ve got this idea…. Granted, it’s taken from a slew of other fics, but they’re usually set in Harry and Co. time. I may or may not do this. I’m still debating. ^^ NO BEGGING FOR IT! MY POOR BEGGED-OUT BRAIN CAN’T HANDLE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

(9)One last thing: should Peter be caught and go back to the good guys, with the Marauders gaining their trust back after the end of the third book, or should I keep him evil and send him packing off to Azkaban? Yes, this is another voting thing, and it actually lasts until somewhere near the end of the third book, so you’ve got plenty of time to make your decisions. I can do either. I’ve characterized Peter as regretful-but-still-bad (The Prophecy), and complete-and-utter-arsehole (Now or Never). I’m completely open to both options, so this is entirely on you. ^-^ Man, I love doing these voting things.

 

One more thing, for the votings: I’ll add little thingers in my guestbook that ask whether you want them or not. Make it easier on the both of us. But you can still e-mail me if you like.

Chapter Eleven