"Please get your extreme oafishness off my two-hundred-dollar shoes!"
-Cordelia

"Buffy, c'mon, wake up and smell the seduction! It's the oldest trick in the book!" -Xander
"What? Saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?" -Buffy
"Duh! I mean, guys will do anything to impress a girl! I once drank an entire gallon of Gatorade without taking a breath." -Xander

"You read my diary? That is not okay! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things! And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging.'" -Buffy
"Buffy..." -Angel
"And 'A' doesn't even stand for 'Angel' for that matter, it stands for... 'Achmed,' a charming foreign exchange student...so that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you at all..." -Buffy
"Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear." -Angel
"Oh." (realization hits) "Oh." -Buffy

"There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of...Angelus, the one with the angelic face." -Giles, consulting his books
"They got that right." -Buffy
"I'm not saying anything, I have nothing to say." -Xander
"Does this, uh, Angel have a tattoo behind his right shoulder?" -Giles
"Yeah, it's a bird or something." -Buffy
"Now I'm sayin' something! You saw him naked?" -Xander

So he is a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of one to ten...ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and one being someone who's... not."
-Willow

"Reconstruction began when? Buffy?" -Willow, helping Buffy study
"Huh? Oh! Uh, reconstruction...Umm, reconstruction began after the...construction, which was...shoddy, so they had to reconstruct!"
-Buffy
"After the destruction of the Civil War." -Willow
"Right. Civil War. During which Angel was already, like, a hundred and change..." -Buffy

"You want Xander, you've gotta speak up, girl!" -Buffy
"No, no, no, no! No speaking up. That way leads to madness and...sweaty palms!" -Willow

"If you care about somebody you care about them. You can't change that..." -Willow
"...by killing them? Maybe not. But I think it's a start." -Buffy

"Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul." -Angel
"What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?" -Buffy

"Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?" -Darla
"Bad hair on top of that outfit?" -Buffy

"Ah...the post-fumigation party!" -Xander
"Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?" -Buffy
"Much hardier cockroaches." -Xander

Season One
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