"Anya said you were the First. Said you were evil. You're supposed to be all go-through-able." –Spike
"Then what the hell did you tackle me for, you burke? What's that supposed to do?" –Giles
"I, uh…I didn't think of that." –Spike

"I'd like to take you out to dinner, if that's all right with you. I mean, you don't have to. I'm certainly not saying, 'Come to dinner if you enjoy having a job.' (reviewing what he just said) You know, I may have to make up a document saying I didn't just say that and have you sign it."
–Principal Wood

"You know, it's not even that he's acting that suspicious. It's just—there he is. On the Hellmouth. All day, every day. That's got to be like being showered with evil. Only from underneath." –Buffy
"Not really a shower." –Willow
"A bidet. Like a bidet of evil." –Buffy

"He's good-looking, and he's—he's solid, he's smart, he's normal. So, not the wicked energy, which is nice 'cause I don't want to only be attracted to wicked energy. Or what if he is wicked, in which case, is that why I'm attracted to him?" –Buffy
"I'm gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on." –Willow

"How 'bout your [date], Xander. Is she evil?" –Willow
"Well, she's interested in me, so there's a good chance, but I'm hoping for the best." –Xander

"I don't think it's really a date. That's what I think." –Anya
"Well, it is unclear. That's why I chose a top that says, you know, 'I'm comfortable in a stodgy office or a swinging casual setting—or killing you, you know, if you're a demon.'" –Buffy

(Talking about Buffy's upcoming date with Principal Wood)
"Think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence? My eyes are clear." –Spike
"Good. I'm glad. Thank you." –Buffy
"Never much cared for picket fences, anyway. Bloody dangerous." –Spike

"Say, um, do you have any weaknesses I should know about if I'm gonna work for you, like, uh, kryptonite or allergies?"
–Andrew, to the First

(Willow gets a text message from Xander)
"[We have a] system we set up a while back. Like codes. Uh, this one's either 'I just got lucky, don't call me for a while' or 'My date's a demon who's trying to kill me.'" –Willow
"You don't remember which?" –Kennedy
"It was a long time ago." –Willow
"Well, if we play the percentages..." –Dawn
"Something's eating Xander's head." –Giles



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