"Oh, Dawn, Vi's left her notebook on the mantelpiece. Would you mind running it out to the car?" -Giles
"Sure." -Dawn
"While you're at it, smack her in the head with it and remind her not to leave it lying around." -Giles
"On it." -Dawn
"This trip is important for the girls to understand the source of their power, and to know how to use it right." -Buffy
"Do you think they appreciate the gravity of what we're undertaking? It's frightening, and it's difficult. And then, apparently, someone told them that the vision quest consists of me 'driving them to the desert, doing the...hokey pokey?...until a spooky Rasta-mama slayer arrives and speaks to them in riddles.'" -Giles, giving Buffy an accusing look
"That's not exactly how I put it!" -Buffy, defensively
"Giles, you might want to get out there." -Dawn
"Oh, God, what?" -Giles
"Molly and Rona are fighting over who gets to drive the first leg." -Dawn
"Bet you wish you renewed that California state driver's license now, huh?" -Buffy, to Giles
"Rona won. You should probably let Molly out of the trunk. I never actually realized just how compact Molly really is." -Anya
"Give us all a chance for a breather, eh?" -Spike
"From Giles?" -Buffy
"From the constant pitter patter of clomping teenage girly feet." -Spike
"I have no idea what you're talking about." -Buffy
"Come on!" -Spike
"No! I enjoy my responsibility as mentor, role model, life guide—oh, my God, I cannot believe I have my bathroom all to myself for two whole days!" -Buffy, suddenly ecstatic
(The chip placed in Spike's head by the initiative [see season five] has gone haywire.)
"Will, how much do you know about the chip?" -Buffy
"Spike's chip? Well, I remember trying to dig up stuff back then, but, you know, turns out when a secret government agency studies vampires and puts chips in their brains that keep them from hurting people, they don't really build websites." -Willow
"Remember when things used to be nice and boring?" -Buffy, nostalgic
(Pauses to think)"No." -Willow
(Kennedy suckers Willow into a date.)
"Okay. One drink. I can work with that. Let's start with the easy stuff. How long have you known? That you're gay." -Kennedy
"Wait. That's easy? And you just assume that I'm—I'm gay! I mean, presume much?" -Willow
"Okay...how long have you enjoyed having sex with women?" -Kennedy
"Hey! What you think you have some special lesbidar or something?" -Willow
"Okay, you know there's a better word for that, right?" -Kennedy
(Back to Spike's chip)
"Well, we'll fix it! We'll hit serious research mode—" -Buffy
"Good. Try 'Behavioral Modification Software Throughout the Ages.'" -Spike
"Okay. You're right. Not a book thing...it's a phone thing." -Buffy
"Who ya gonna call?" (Raised eyebrows from Buffy) "God, that phrase is never gonna be useable again, is it?" -Spike
(Buffy is trying to call Riley at the initiative.)
"No, no, Finn is his last name. Yeah." (Pause) "Well, did he used to work there and then he got transferred?" (Pause) "Oh. Is this actually a flower shop, or is this one of those things where I'm supposed to play along to show that I know it's really secret ops? Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that." (Pause) Oh, okay, right. Well, if some guy named Finn shows up to buy flowers...(Pause) "Yeah. Thanks." (Hangs up and turns to Spike) "Wrong number. Or a giant government conspiracy..."
-Buffy
"I just...I still don't get it...why you like me. I mean, you don't even know me!" -Willow
"Have you seen you? And we like the same things—Italian, skate punk, Robert Parker mysteries, fighting evil..." -Kennedy
"I don't like any of that stuff! Except the fighting evil part...and even then, I prefer a nice foot massage." -Willow
(Willow suddenly looks like Warren, and everyone confuses her with the First.)
"No more listening! I know who you are now. I know what you made me do. Your promises of happy fields and dancing schnauzers and being demigods won't work on me anymore!" -Andrew
(The four remaining Scoobies suspect Giles is the First, and go to the desert to try to save the SIT's.)
"He might know we're coming." -Xander
"Which means we're already too late, and we're heading out to the middle of nowhere." -Anya
"With no slayer, no powerful witch..." -Dawn
"Just a teenager, a powerful former demon, and two big geeks." -Anya
"Okay, license plate game, maybe?" -Andrew
(Xander, Dawn, Anya and Andrew attack Giles to see if he's corporeal.)
"Touch him. Touch him!" -Xander
"Oh, I feel him. I feel him!" -Dawn
"Me too!" -Xander
"Me too!" -Andrew
"We all feel each other. Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties, thank you! I assume there's a perfectly reasonable and not at all insane explanation here." -Giles, dryly
"We thought you might be non-corporeal evil." -Anya, apologetically
"We got a call. We couldn't remember you touching anything." -Dawn
"We had to make sure you were okay. We were worried." -Xander
"Oh. That's very sweet." (Pause) "Now wait a minute—you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and don't touch them?" -Giles, puzzled
"We're to provide you anything you need to help ass-face here." (Responding to their glares) "Those were his exact words, ma'am."
-Initiative Officer
"The Killer in Me"
Season Seven
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