Hello folks, I hope you are all doing fine...well, of course you do, it’s Christmas time!! And that’s the point to come to the point – everybody, welcome the newest member of ELU, Figwit!!

Figwit enters, looks around and sits down next to the reporter, loud cheers from the Audience

Reporter: So, Figwit…so, how are you? What do you think about everyone being all crazy about you and all the screaming fangirls and stuff, even if you are in the whole movie for only about three seconds?
Figwit: …
Reporter: Well…okay. And do you think that the sudden success has changed you in any way?
Figwit: …
Reporter: I see, we’re playing this “the silent” one thing again, huh? Anyway, do you think that you are more popular than Legolas?
Figwit: …

Legolas appears out of nowhere and runs into the spotlight

Legolas: Hey my fans, here I am, the one that you’ve all waited for!! Aren’t I wonderful?*big-twinkle-smile*
Audience(Legolas fangirls): *faint* *drool**Ahhhh,we loooove you Leggie!!*
Reporter: Uhh….sorry to interrupt you, but this Interview is supposed to be about Figwit, not about you, Legolas!
Legolas: But…but…but…what would be an Interview without ME? I’m the prettiest by far, so I have to be in!!
Reporter: I’m sorry…I can’t change the law. My boss decided that this Interview is about Figwit and him only!!
Figwit: …
Legolas: BUT HE HASN’T EVEN SAID A SINGLE WORD YET!!
Reporter: Yes…that’s why he is so popular! He is mysterious and full of thoughts…girls like that!
Fangirls: EEEEEEEEKKK!!!IT’S FIGWIT! *He’s soooooo hot and handsome! We loooooove you Figgy!!!* *Figwit, marry me* *I want to have your baby!!* *Ohmygod, ohmygod,ohmygod!He looked at mee!*
Figwit: …
Legolas: No way, that guy more popular than me?? Hello girls, I was the one who did all those cool stunts! Pay attention to me! It’s me, Legolas!! The hot elf guy ! Hey, girls!!
Reporter: I’m sorry to say that…but get outta here, I’m trying to do an Interview!!!!!
Audience&Legolas: …
Figwit: …
Reporter: Sooo, where did we stop? Ah, yes…do you have a...
Arwen: Hello my beloved Fans! I had to show up, what would be …well, anything without me? I’m sooo pretty and smart and sooo lovely and everyone loves me!
Reporter: I think we already had that ….GET OUT, ELF LADY!
Arwen: But my PR Manager said…
Reporter: SHUT UP AND GET OUT!!
Arwen: *cries* Buaaaaahhhh, Aragorn, he yelled at me-e-e!!!
Aragorn: He did What?I will not allow that! Revenge!! ELENDIIIIIL!!!

Aragorn runs in, Anduril ready to kick butt

Reporter: No,no,no!! You are not supposed to be here(points to Aragorn), she is not supposed to be here (points to Arwen) and he isn’t supposed to be here, either (points to Legolas)!!And he…where did you come from?(points to a fluffy pink bunny)
Aragorn: As if I care. You yelled at MY woman!! Elendiiil!!!
Reporter: Iiiek, get off of me! Help!!

Legolas jumps in, ready to fight Aragorn

Legolas: Hey, stop that! If you kill the Reporter…who’s going to make an article about me?
Aragorn: But…you aren’t the topic of this Interview, he is(points to Figwit).
Figwit: …
Legolas&Aragorn: -_-‘
Arwen: Oh, I think that Figwit guy may perhaps be prettier than me…but when I think about it…NO! That is impossible.
Reporter: Allright, stop that now, you guys! I’m gonna get fired if I can’t finish this Interview, so leave now!!
Arwen: Leave? But I can’t leave, I have to be in the spotlight!!
Legolas: Yeah, me too!
Arwen: Hey, wait! If I am in the spotlight and you are…than you may steal me the show! I can not allow this! Prepare to die, wood boy!
Legolas: What? I’m the prettiest guy on earth and nobody is gonna kill ME!

Legolas&Arwen start a fight to death

Reporter: AAHHHHHHHHH! STOP THAAAAAAAT!! I ONLY WANTED TO DO MY JOB AND THANKS TO YOU I’M GONNA LOOSE IT!
Aragorn: Man, you need to calm down. This stress can ruin your nerves, you know?
Reporter: …did you notice that the elf boy is going to kill your wife?
Aragorn: WHAT? I will not allow that, I am the king, after all! So…ELENDIIIL!!
Reporter: -_-‘
Figwit: …
Reporter: Okay, let’s come to you again, Figwit. Did you know that you don’t really exist? You weren’t in the book and you didn’t even have a name, until some crazy people saw you and made that site about you. How did you feel when you found out about you being not real?…Wait a minute, if you are not real…the other characters aren’t real too, because they only exist in a book! The characters in the movies are only actors…so that means I’m talking to non-existing people…maybe I’m not real, too! Imagine someone just made me up and let me say things or even let me do this stupid Interview…no, what am I thinking?
Well…what’s your favourite food, Figwit?
Figwit: …
Reporter: And what are your hobbies?
Figwit: …
Reporter: Ah, and what about your favourite animal?
Figwit: …
Reporter: I see. Speaking of animals…did you know that some people say that you look like a horse?
Figwit: WHAT??WHO SAID THAT???
Everyone: *shocked silence*
Legolas: he…he…he…spoke!
Arwen: *faints*
Reporter: Yay, I knew he could do it. So, let’s return to my questions, okay Figwit?
Figwit: …
Reporter: Nooooooo, not again ;_;
Fangirls: *We love you Figwit!!* *Marry meee* *You are so-o-o cu-ute!*
Figwit: …
Aragorn, Legolas&Arwen: That’s it. I’m outta here.
Reporter: *sigh* Sorry to say that, but our time is over. Thank you for the Interview, Figwit!Uhh, do you have anything to say to your fans out there?
Figwit: …